Christianity Oasis Forum

[Christianity Oasis]

Greetings fellow Christians,

Is it not interesting how if someone gets addicted to eating, gambling, drinking, drugs, self harm, etc ...

We hear the Christians say "Awwwwwwwwwwwww, poor thing ... Let us reach out to this VICTIM" and they do so with great zeal. In particular, those who have or are experiencing the same symptoms from the same plague of the mind and body.

However, if one becomes addicted to sex ... Many of those same Christians choose not to get involved and still others get the torches and pitchforks, cuz we bout to have us a hanging.

Tsk tsk

Silly wabbits ...

I believe that 90% of the Christians within the Oasis have had or do have a sexual addiction in one way or another.

Whether it be simply thinking about sex a lot (oft times due to neglect from a spouse) or masturbation (even married folks behind the spouses back) or pornography or thinking of other people when having sex with your mate or seeking kinky ways to spruce up sex or looking upon others out and about with lust.

This too is sexual addiction.

I also believe that there are some who have been molested or raped as a child (some by their own family members) and this act has changed their ideology about sex and tho some despise sex from that point on, or have probs within relationships cuz of it, others became the predator (Which is a disease they caught from the predator) but keep it secret.

This too is sexual addiction.

This plague of the mind and body which we speak of has NO BIAS as to age, gender or martial status.

It, like other habits tends to require more and more as time passes. Just as the addiction to drugs and alcohol continue to evolve into harder drugs and liquor, this addiction asks the same of its victim.

Let us take porn for example ...

It may start with looking at various still images (pics) of half naked and then naked people and that suffices for a while. Then it craves more. It can evolve into porn movies.

But, it still is not done. The porn movies which were exciting at first become not enough to satisfy the lust, so it evolves into kinky type of porn. Even into beastiality and bondage.

And yet ... It still wants more.

It wants to be in REAL TIME.

Some head out to the clubs and/or cyber sex on the Internet.

Just as it is with the porn movies, it continues to evolve.

From one person to many.

From one method of sex to another.

As this plague within ... Fills it's appetite.

In the end ...

Despite how beautiful the person was, how excited you got, how kinky you got ...

You end up with that big empty void within, when you have ... Completed.

Oft times you sit there in the darkness in shame. If you have been at it a while it is more of a usual ending and you go about your business until the next ... calling.


Rascals and rascalettes ...

This is an addiction ...

No different than any other addiction other than the embarrassing aspect.

But, we can not use that as a reason not to be free from the addiction. One can not look down upon another because they have this addiction.

Now, I know most are gonna kick back like the cowardly lion on the show Wizard of Oz and say ... " I do, I do, I do believe in spooks" and not dare share.

But, I do ask those of you who have or do have a sexual addiction to come forth and share.

Those who have overcome get yourselves in here and reach out a helping hand just as you would with any other soul with any other addiction.

Those who have been or are caught up in this web, know very well that most words do not reach. That having a Scripture thrown at you and told good luck, does no good.

That TRUE help is needed.

That saying, amen I am cured, and running back to the shadows can and will be done if any should try and scold, judge or criticize and would do it in a second if someone plays "Holier than thou" ...

Those of you who find yourselves in judgment of these souls or feel like since you do not have a sexual addiction any longer so the opportunity at healing and Grace, knocked only for you and door closed when YOU decided you were not interested any more ...

Best post elsewhere cuz we will NOT allow any judging within this forum.

This happens to be one of the vices, which I selected in my life and it became an addiction.

If someone was able to judge me and CON-vince me that since I was caught up in the sexual addiction web, that I was CON-demned and I took it heart ...

There would be no Oasis which GOD uses to bring His sheep in for healing.

The point is ...

A man caught up in sexual addiction ...

Was used as God's tool.

So, those of you who have sexual addictions ...

NEVER allow the holier than thou Christians to CON-demn you.

The Bible is clear that if you break one law, you break em all.

James 2:10-11 ... For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all. For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law.

So, any violation of said law (sin) is a violation against em all.

So, sin is sin to the Lord.

And we all sin ...

1 John 1:10 ... If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

So, NOBODY has ANY RIGHT to judge.

Allow nobody who does not commit THIS particular sin to ever CON-demn you.

GOD is your only judge and HE knows and judges the HEART.

This sexual addiction is just ONE aspect of the Original Sin that we are born with.

http://www.christianityoasis.com/keywor ... nalsin.htm



C'mon friends ... We were all once lil kids who thought the opposite of sex had cooties (I still do believe that of most of em actually)

We had no clue what up, until the enemy of our soul, by use of the world (whether it be a friend's whisper, tv, books, clothing of the day, family member, etc) triggered that dormant plague within us and here we are ... Looked down on by others and even ourselves, cuz we have an addiction.

A plague ...

Much like a flu virus that we got cuz we got just cuz we live in this skin.

Now ...

YES this is something we wanna be rid of.
YES we are to overcome.
YES we can do so.

But, it takes a lot more than a Scripture thrown at us and a few amens.

This Christian walk is a tough one.

We oft times wandered way out in the dark and it takes time to get back.

Oft times we need help finding our way back.

A friend ...

Someone to help us be acountable maybe.

So, like they do in AA, I was hoping we could get a buddy system going between those who have been there and overcome with those who are experiencing it.

I am curious who would be interested in getting involved.

If you feel led, please let us know in this thread.

I am raising my hand ...

Your turn ...

Luv all of ya








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[baileyblack09]

Sigh. I'm an 18 year old young lady. Who would have thought i person like me would have an addiction to sexual sin? Not me that's for sure.. Yes, I have an addiction and I need help What more should I say?

[susidivah]

Well, O pretty much knows I'd be in... but I wanted to also post a few thoughts here for you guys....

First, if you didn't know I have a webpage with the site, and here is the link for my testimony:
http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keywor ... monial.htm

It's pretty basic, for I didn't feel more details needed to be typed (sin is sin, after all)... but it is a testimony to this addiction and how it can progress, how Satan's candle can turn into his own blazing fire...

I NEVER would wish my experiences upon anyone... that accompanied with the true love and grace of God I know motivate me to reach to others in this darkness.

It is very much a two way street guys with overcoming this, don't get me wrong, but I found out from experience having someone who's been there, non judgemental, and holds you accountable to encourage you helps a lot.

We all fall... we are human... I still struggle with much of the crap of the addiction... but it's much easier now to forgive myself, repent to my Father, and get back up and move on...

One more thing... I am glad to see sisters on here speaking out. That was one thing in my personal experience I very rarely saw online nor in real time... all my SA meetings were all males. This creature doesn't discriminate as O said. Praise Jesus for this safe place to share and to learn how to erase that guilt and shame...

Look forward to working alongside towards that Light
Love you all dearly,
Susi

[hopenconfidence]

Hey everyone,

It has been awhile since I've been on here for I have been going through a lot of things. Unfortunately, that includes thoughts of sex. I didn't realize I had an addiction but as time went on, that realization came true. I'm here for you all and even though I'm not always in chat, I can still pray and talk one on one if need be. Thanks for understanding.

O, it's nice to see you on here for we all know we are in this together to overcome what our worldly thoughts and bodies are trying to get us into.

Take care all and hopefully chat with you soon

hope

[lizzie]

good to see u miss hopen been missin ya

Oasis, I am def interested in getting involved with this new project. So I am raising my hand also

Sign me up brother

[huelsingbroad]

most times u hear radio ministries mention sex addiction, they mention men. women are addicted as well. as i was. partly because of abuse as a child that led to a deeply imbedded feeling that i only had my body that was worth offering. and partly because it was like a drug. it made me numb to all the pain of men's love not being unconditional. i introduced my husband to the swinger lifestyle and he took to it like a fish to water. now that my beliefs interfere with our practice of wild and illicit sex, we fight over it alot. our sex life went from bi women, to cpls, to bi men. my hubby nver showd any tendencies before, but one night in front of the computer with porn and we were caught up in homosexual indulgences that GOD calls an abomination. but the worst thing was that i couldn't blame satan. these things were born of my own desires. my lust created a monster. but i am praying for the salvation of my husband and i know GOD will deliver him and show him that monogamy is the best way.
so, im in. we need to lift/hold each other up
we are to confess our sin to one another, and to God that we may be forgiven

[momof3]

hi my brothers and sisters...i too, have been there. Ive made some pretty aweful choices being bound in the addictions of sexual sin. There is hope, though. There is freedom and forgiveness. We are all in this together..so..im in..raising my hand as well.

God bless you all. You are in a safe place.


susi, sis...i read your testimonial today and sis...wow!

one of the core beliefs of sex addicts is that if you knew the real
me, you could never love me, and would leave me. I've learned that the
only one who will truly never leave me, and gives me unconditional
love everyday, is HIM.

this is so very true..at least it was for me, as well. He is our healer..and He truly does love us..where we are.

[Christianity Oasis]

Look at all the honesty and candor ...

This is the first step to healing.

So, when we gonna get the buddy system thanggg going?

Maybe we can make a list of all those within our group and determine the best way to proceed.

Whether the buddies be assigned or chosen is up to you guys and gals.

Gender issue should be discussed a lil more too.

This is OUR program.

Let's work together to get it going and others who are watching this forum may join in.



Luv all of ya

[Tam]

I have an accountability partner here and that seems to be working good. Can't get anything past that lady!

I would encourage it for others too because it is nice to have someone to call when you feel like you need to do something you shouldn't.

She definetly holds me accountable as I do her. The one thing you have to do to make this work is to promise to be totally honest with each other and not hide. You have to be willing to have them hurt your feeling in love and to be tough with you at times. TOUGH LOVE is worth every minute

Hope you guys can do the same.

[Ann_is_Alive]

I like the idea of an accountability partner or a buddy system, but like you said Tam, you have to be willing to give and take all the way!

I am just learning to trust and am not sure I am anywhere near close to making that kind of commitment. I'm not sure I can be there for someone else like that.

[Christianity Oasis]

I understand ...

Trust is oft times a leap of faith.

But, the alternative is unacceptable.

I am just a forum PM away if'n any of ya wanna buddy up.

Luv all of ya

[Ann_is_Alive]

What if I say something wrong? What if my partner is looking for comfort and I say something and make it worse?

How do I overcome feeling like that so I can move on?

Ann