Christianity Oasis Forum

[Dora]

Beautiful picture hu? If only it were that easy.

After Jesus death and burial some of the disciples walked a road to a city called Emmaus. Along the way Jesus was with them, but they didn't recognize him. Maybe because their grief was so great. Funny how when we are in such great pain we can not see or feel the Lord.

Think about it Tam. What they were probably feeling and thinking as they walked together. Many tears I'm sure. When they got to the end of the road they would see He was with them all along.

With each step you are slowly letting go. Your grip relaxes to the point you just let go. And peace will flow through. His peace.

Felt led to share the story of the road to Emmaus with you Tam.

Luke 24:
11 And their words seemed to them as idle tales, and they believed them not.
12 Then arose Peter, and ran unto the sepulchre; and stooping down, he beheld the linen clothes laid by themselves, and departed, wondering in himself at that which was come to pass.
13 And, behold, two of them went that same day to a village called Emmaus, which was from Jerusalem about threescore furlongs.
14 And they talked together of all these things which had happened.
15 And it came to pass, that, while they communed together and reasoned, Jesus himself drew near, and went with them.
16 But their eyes were holden that they should not know him.

Hard to feel him when you're hurting hu? Yet He is there.


17 And he said unto them, What manner of communications are these that ye have one to another, as ye walk, and are sad?
18 And the one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answering said unto him, Art thou only a stranger in Jerusalem, and hast not known the things which are come to pass therein these days?
19 And he said unto them, What things? And they said unto him, Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, which was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people:
20 And how the chief priests and our rulers delivered him to be condemned to death, and have crucified him.
21 But we trusted that it had been he which should have redeemed Israel: and beside all this, to day is the third day since these things were done.
22 Yea, and certain women also of our company made us astonished, which were early at the sepulchre;
23 And when they found not his body, they came, saying, that they had also seen a vision of angels, which said that he was alive.
24 And certain of them which were with us went to the sepulchre, and found it even so as the women had said: but him they saw not.
25 Then he said unto them, O fools, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken:
26 Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into his glory?
27 And beginning at Moses and all the prophets, he expounded unto them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself.
28 And they drew nigh unto the village, whither they went: and he made as though he would have gone further.
29 But they constrained him, saying, Abide with us: for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent. And he went in to tarry with them.

Though they didn't know it was Jesus they wanted Him to stay with them. I'm thinking they liked what they were hearing.

30 And it came to pass, as he sat at meat with them, he took bread, and blessed it, and brake, and gave to them.
31 And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight.

Then their eyes were opened and they realized....

32 And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?

Journey was over..they had "let go" time to go home and get to work...

33 And they rose up the same hour, and returned to Jerusalem, and found the eleven gathered together, and them that were with them,
34 Saying, The Lord is risen indeed, and hath appeared to Simon.
35 And they told what things were done in the way, and how he was known of them in breaking of bread.


It is the breaking that he is revealed and the healing comes.


36 And as they thus spake, Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.
37 But they were terrified and affrighted, and supposed that they had seen a spirit.
38 And he said unto them, Why are ye troubled? and why do thoughts arise in your hearts?
39 Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have.
40 And when he had thus spoken, he shewed them his hands and his feet.
41 And while they yet believed not for joy, and wondered, he said unto them, Have ye here any meat?
42 And they gave him a piece of a broiled fish, and of an honeycomb.
43 And he took it, and did eat before them.
44 And he said unto them, These are the words which I spake unto you, while I was yet with you, that all things must be fulfilled, which were written in the law of Moses, and in the prophets, and in the psalms, concerning me.
45 Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures,
46 And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behoved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day:

[Tam]

God's Grace....Thank God for His grace and for His love that he gives freely to us. Sometimes we don't freely received it. Perhaps we don't think it is for us. Perhaps we think we are so far gone that He couldn't love us, much less forgive us.
Am I serving God out of fear of punishment? I am serving Him because I am required to? Why am I truly serving him. I love Him the best I can right now and I want to do what is right in his eyes. But at the same time, what would happen if I didn't serve Him. How much worse could my life be? What do I have to lo se not serving Him? These are all honest questions that come to my mind as I do this study. Maybe questions that have been back there for some time.
I recall in my younger days my grandmother making me go to church with her when I stayed over there. Church was not an option. I recall her telling me that I had to receive Jesus so that I would not burn in an eternal hell. I remember her scaring the begessims out of me about hell. She always told me that if I wanted to be with her forever that I had to trust God as my personal savior. So I did, because being without her was the last thing that I could imagine. I wanted to be with her forever.
DId I do that out of love for Jesus.....sadly NO I did it out of love for a human being. Someone that I loved dearly. Do I love Jesus as much as I loved my grandmother? I think the answer to that would also be sadly NO but I am working on that one. I know what all the Bible says about all that just gotta get there and put all the love in all the right places. I have some how gotta now that Jesus loves me regardless, that I don't have to do something to earn his love and that He is not going to bash my head into the wall if I do something wrong but that He will simply forgive me and move on.
Last night in the CCCC study Liz was asking me all kinds of questions. Questions that I did not want to answer because I wanted to hide. But I did not want to let Lizzie down either. So as I began to answer her questions the tears began to fall.(something that I don't do) It got so bad that I could not see the screen. No one jumped out and bashed my head in the wall and no one ran and started beating me, They only loved me right where I was. Was it out of pity.....I hope not, was nothing to pitty there. It made me realize that maybe it is ok to cry and that maybe that tears are there for a reason and we have to let them go. Dunno.....
All I do know is that I went to sleep with losts of questions running through my mind but then told God that whatever it was He needed to do in me to please help me get to where he needs me to be and to help me know that tears are a language that He understands.
So God's grace.....maybe I learned that it is for me just a little.
Thanks Lizzie for being a vessel that God used to begin to break down those walls. Thanks to all of you for being vessels of God in my life.

[mlg]

Tam...loving Jesus more than anything is difficult for some because they are afraid...they fear God will hurt them as people have. But God won't. God never wants to see His children hurt...He wants nothing but good for them. Yep, that's hard to accept...because the past is playing a large part in your thinking these days...and the past is how you are seeing what will come...but you know it doesn't have to be this way...as the future is a clean easel...and Jesus is the painter and He wants to draw a beautiful future for you...one that is full of the Love that He is offering to you...as well as the Love He wants you to have for Him.

Asking yourself why you serve God...is something I did recently as well...it's a type of soul searching to see if our heart is in the right place...and in doing this...you are really seeking to love God as you want to.

Keep it up sis...True Love does await you...and it's a love that loves when we don't deserve to be loved...and it's a love that can't be taken away from us...and it's a love that we can't loose...it's Agape.

Praying for you still sis.

luv ya

[Dora]

Sometimes we don't freely received it. Perhaps we don't think it is for us. Perhaps we think we are so far gone that He couldn't love us, much less forgive us.

I do know the feeling. Yet we have to remember it is God we are talking about. Don't down size him sis. He's bigger than any sin or pain in your life and so is His grace. Cause he's just good like that.

Am I serving God out of fear of punishment? I am serving Him because I am required to? Why am I truly serving him. I love Him the best I can right now and I want to do what is right in his eyes. But at the same time, what would happen if I didn't serve Him. How much worse could my life be? What do I have to lo se not serving Him? These are all honest questions that come to my mind as I do this study. Maybe questions that have been back there for some time.

Haven't we all asked those questions at some point? I know I have. I do wonder if it's the enemy trying to slow our work so while we are busy wondering about these things someone who needed us slipped past and we didn't notice.

Gods love is so great ours looks so weak in comparison. He accepts us where we are. Cause He is good like that. Nothing with in us, it's all what He is about. His grace is sufficient for you (us).

I don't have to do something to earn his love and that He is not going to bash my head into the wall if I do something wrong but that He will simply forgive me and move on.

Amen!

Jesus Jesus Jesus

[deetu]

Oh Tam, I was in the room last night and saw your fear when you said "someone would bash your head on the wall"... I said "Not in here"...
I did not say much more, only offering ((hugs)) because I didn't want you to feel like you were being attacked in the room and be overwhelmed. But I was there praying and am sure the others were too.
lizzie is good at directing what needs to get let out.

I used to have fear and because I had fear, once I was free, I want everyone to know that freedom. That it was possible for them too.
So I don't pity you Tam... I believe for you! No fear...just freedom!

[Tam]

Thank you guys for the comments you are leaving here. They are truly blessing me.
Love you guys and gals

[Tam]

Well Forgiveness......hmmmmmm
I can forgive most of those who have hurt me . But the promblem comes in with myself. You see to me forgiving means that what the person did was ok and that you still love them and will get over it.
Well what was done is not and never will be ok. You see....up until my teen years I had no choice, I had to be driven there, but then once I hit driving age, I went on my own. I did it I had the choice to make and I still chose to step right back in the role of victim and didn't think twice about that. Why not? that is sick.....to keep going back where you know that you are going to be hurt? How does one forgive themself for something such as that. I don't know that I can ever forgive myself. Is it guilt, shame, embarassment? I don't know. No I didn't enjoy it at all, matter of fact I always tried to talk myself into not going over there.
Because I kept stepping back into the same situtation I got what I deserved. That was stupid but I did it. I was taught that when we ask for stuff, we get what we deserve. When we put ourself in what we know to be a bad situtation, we just have to suck it up and deal with our ignorance.

If I hadn't smarted off, If I would have kept my mouth shut. Why did I think I had to have the last word when the wall always won. Why did I tap my foot while he was scolding me.....knowing that the wall was going to be the outcome. It is things like that that I am talking about. How do we ever forgibe our stupidity?

I am sorry to be so difficult but I just don't get it. I don't understand How,
I read the word and I know that it says and I know what I need to do but what is blocking me......why can't I just do it and move on? Words it is just words to me. When I try to say them they mean absolutely nothing. Maybe one day I will get the totaly picture and I will be able to forgive myself. Until then all I can do is hope that God will not hold that against me and will continue to love me.

[mlg]

Good morning my sister Tam

Sis...you have imagined a lie....and you need to replace that lie with truth....forgiveness does not mean that what was done is ok...forgiveness doesn't mean they should be allowed to do what they did again....forgiveness means that you are not going to allow the past hurt and pain to bind you in chains any longer...it means you are unlocking the locks and stepping out into freedom...freedom you deserve.

Now I want to address the fact that you stated after you were driving you went back to where you knew you were going to be hurt....well sis...the thing is that all the abuse you had gone through when you couldn't drive and were forced to go...awakened within you an addiction....and once you could drive you went not because you wanted to...but because the addiction was controlling you...and you and I both know that addictions aren't just something you get over...they take healing...healing that only Jesus can truly give.

Sis...I know you read the word...and I know you know the word...the words you read mean nothing because the pain and hurt is blocking the word from coming into your heart...you've built walls around your heart to protect it from hurting any more...but this means nothing can get in...including the love and word of the Lord...time to break down the walls sis one brick at a time.

luv ya

[Dora]

HIS grace is sufficient.

One piece of the puzzle at a time.

Keep sharing.

Love you bunches

[Mackenaw]

Hello Tam

I want to try to explain something to you about my own conversion -- how I fell in love with Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

When I first came to C.O. I was already Born Again and had been for many, many, many years; however, I was miserable and had been for many, many, many years. When I watched as members here would write how much they loved The Lord, I knew I didn't feel the love that they were typing about. I wondered if they were faking it -- I mean, how can you love something you've never seen or experienced...right? I wanted to love The Lord, and I was raised and taught about God and Jesus, and I had even accepted Jesus as Saviour, but I didn't "feel" love for them -- I only chose to believe it. But...I wanted to feel it -- because it seemed it was the only way it would really be real to me.

While my initial reason for searching out a website was to find relief from the torture and the prison my mind was in, I now wanted to find out if I could really love The Lord and actually feel it. It became my mission. I started reading everything I could get my hands on about The Lord (I devoured the studies here), and watching non-stop Christian TV and I prayed and asked for a passion for reading The Bible. I also prayed and asked God to let me feel love for Him.

And then it happened.

A moment, an experience, a flicker here and a flicker there and it was so different than anything I had ever experienced before. I was experiencing His presence. No sound, no smell, no sightings -- just experienced Him...AND HIS LOVE. Words don't explain it. But I knew without a doubt Who it was and that He was showing me the tiniest glimpses of Himself through a "feeling" like none other. God is Love, and what I experienced was His love. My whole entire being fell deeply in love with Him. How? He loved me first. He allowed me to experience a glimpse, and a glimpse was all it took. My knees buckled and I was in love.

My ability to forgive followed as a result of falling in love with Him -- which followed Him revealing His love to me first. The ability to forgive comes from Him.

Recently in Rise & Shine you were asking various questions about faith. And at one point you wrote something like..."so it starts with obedience?" (or something like that). I answered yes. I answered yes, because of what I just shared with you. I wanted to know -- to experience Him, so, out of obedience I prayed and I read His Word and I read the Studies here, and I prayed and I chose to believe Him at His Word. I knew enough to know that He is not about people "faking" it, so I expected and waited for the real thing. He didn't let me down.

He won't let you down either, Tam. Keep seeking Him, and don't settle for anything less.

I'm praying for you. God's blessed will be done.

God bless you.
Love,
Mack

[vahn]

Yes . Forgiving self is the most difficult "task" ANY person faces , especially the ones (like me) had done things "knowing" was wrong .

When it came to clearing the wreckage of my past , the words out of my sponsor's mouth were " Remember vahn , the key words here are clearing the wreckage and not necessarily the past , we're trying to fix the wreck , the past , we can absolutely do nothing about . Also remember that we are now willing to go to any length to do that even when it hurts for a little while , but I would rather hurt for a little while and get it over and done with , than to go on hurting for as long as I can "handle" it .
The question I would like you to ask yourself is this "Am I willing ? Or am I just simply refusing ? Work on that first , find out which is which , and if it is "refusal" ask yourself why ? "

In other words Tam , what my sponsor "showed" me that I had this misconception of this forgiving biz , as being an event of some sort , like we just sit down , or "look in the mirror" and tell ourselves all this mushy stuff and end it with "You are now forgiven !"
We all know too well , how many times we tried that . In reality , forgiveness , especially self , is a process that we go through one situation at a time . For example , when I caused a considerable harm to a certain individual , knowingly and planned as such , all the while degrading myself for thinking as such but did it anyway . Well those feelings just don't simply disappear by telling myself "Well I got to forgive myself or else !" . But when I took a closer look of why did I take such action , well the thing was , I didn't know any better , that's why at the time it wasn't bothering me "as much" , but now its a different story isn't it ? Now we know , and we immediately turn it as if we are committing those acts NOW , with our present knowledge .


In Christ , Our Lord
Luv ya

[Tam]

oh man todays Lesson finding the Problem.
I think that my biggest problem that is holding me back from all I need to do is fear. Fear operates every moment of my life. Fear has become my best friend sadly. Everyday of my life is lived in fear.
I have a lot of revenge toward the person who murdered my grandmother and anger and resistment and yes I even hate them. If I could see them on the street today I would probably run over them and not think twice about it. Yes that is wrong and I am trying to work on it, I am trying to forgive and to let go and Let God, it just hasn't come yet. In my doing inventory for this lesson I realized that I have not done this for this individual. Why? dunno anger maybe? not sure. Anyway I know that it has been brought to my attention to be dealt with and that is something that i am going to have to work on.
There are so many weeds of anger and mistrust that I have to deal with. I have got to pray and get ahold of everyone of them in order to be free. I am not strong enough for that but I know that God in my is if I will just trust Him too..
If I admit my weak areas He will not hurt me. There will be no head bashing going on , no beatings not anything but love for me. I am trying my best to trust Him and to see that.
The fear is so overwhelming at times that it is hard to function. But one day maybe that weed will be gone and I can be "normal" what ever that is.
I really want to trust Jesus and I really wan to be free.

I am not going to list all the weeds here as they are to numerous to count. But I will say that there are several that I have to deal with and I have to get them all cleaned out. God knows what they are and He will help me in His time.
I think right now that it is more important that I deal with the fear and trust and then move on to the others once I have conquered these. I could be wrong and I stand to be corrected. That is just me thinking out loud.