A Call within a Call

[vahn]

I had been "planning" or rather wanting to right something about this topic but . . . something or other . . . (basically didn't even know what was prompting me to do so or why ok ? )
Well , it finally "came" to me , in the form of Skrubby's Dec 16th post . That's when the "light bulb" came on , as it has been ever since day one of my "arrival" or "landing" here at the Oasis , almost on a daily basis . Maybe I should've used "Awakening within Awakening" for a title instead , but , isn't that the very reason why we all come here for ? Iron sharpens iron !
That post covered so many issues (at least to me) that I kept reading it over and over again , for , one reason or other I "knew" there was "something" there , I actually copied it and put it on a separate page .
But it did bring up something that made me realize the depth of our "conscience" could be . (Talk about Spirit working through others huh ?)

Well , whenever someone tells me "I'm saved" , my immediate reaction is , or at least used to be , "From what ? " , and the reaction to that varies from person to person , of course , not as much as in the answer form , but rather asking such question , some get angry , some simply walk away , and some look at me with a "don't you know ? " look on their faces . And you know what ? These are the people I zero in on , the ones with the quizzical look . And you know what else ? (and sometimes I think it being rude or insensitive ) , After ingaging them into conversation for a certain length of time , I had made it a habit of (in part , "discernment" training) I ask the same question again , and almost always their answer is a totally different from the first time they answered , and the ones that keep repeating the same one are the ones that end up on the bottom of my file stack . Some people , (in fact the other [secular] counselors here) consider that "inconsistent" , and they treat them in an opposite way , and they focus on that ONE issue for the rest of that resident's stay here , (no wonder they keep coming back here [relapse]) .

Though it is true , "Once you're saved , you are saved" to a certain extent , but without knowing from what is when a lot of souls find themselves always questioning whether they are or not . Isn't that the reason of being "lost' ? Yes it is also true that we are all born sinners , and some of us have been privileged to be brought up in "church" from the word go , but what about the rest ?

See , God is Infinite , what that means to me is that , whenever I tell myself , "this is what He saved me from , or , that is what He wants me to do , and this is His purpose of saving me .... " you get the picture , am I not limiting God ? Let alone myself ?

"At first there was Darkness , and God said 'Let there be Light' and there was Light " and what did our Lord Christ say , "I Am the Light " ! And man have been trying to put some numbers on the speed of it , Hah !

Here's my story , (the story within the story) .
When my Lord finally reached me , I was in an alley , He put Himself in my later to be sponsor , who in turn led me back to Himself . What was my first "saving" ? of course it was drugs/alcohol , and I rode on that whim for a while , I , was "lost" for alcohol ! later , it was guilt , remorse , and the list went on and on , and that is when I finally said to myself , "You know ? You don't have a clue do you ? "

When I first "met" my sponsor , he was just another drunk to me , as I got to know him more he "became" someone else (hmm) get the pic ? I wonder who it was that was doing the "changing" ?

Gaining custody of my daughter prompted me to buy a house for her to grow up in away from the "city-life" (my past) , later , the house next to me went up for sale and when the new people moved in I did some nosing around , usually I don't care , but now I had my daughter . Even though our house sat on 7 acres and their house was yet another 10 acres away , but in the process of finding out about them , it turned out to be that my neighbor had just gotten released from prison , and the charges ? Child molestation !
I don't recall taking another breath , I was knocking on his door "introducing" myself and my new 9mm S&W saying something like " Hey I just bought this and never used it yet and I really don't know what the affective range for it is , but however , if I see your shadow past your boundary , I'd shoot it first ! "

After explaining everything to the sherrif's deputy , in his "office" , I called my sponsor , that's when I found out about my sponsor being a sexual counselor . Two days later , at an AA meeting , this very neighbor was in attendance , of course by now I'm fuming ! , but , after the meeting he walks up to me and says , I'm looking for a sponsor , and Gary referred me to you , uh huh , and why is that ? Conflict of interest . I'm going what ? he says yes , when we appear in court for your threat case Gary is my rep . So now Gary "becomes" a lawyer !

Three weeks later , working the steps with this "individual" I came to see that he knew more and in fact helped me to see more of our Lord than I "thought" I knew all there was to know about Him !
Today , 10 years later , when I found myself just as homeless as the ones I counsel , I still sponsor him , and his office is directly across the hall from mine .

We will NEVER know who we are by trying to find out about ourselves by ourselves ! We will only accomplish that when God tells us who we are , and the way He does that is through WHOEVER He chooses to put us in the proper place of His Scheme of Things , not ours , we may want to Presidents or soup kitchen volunteers , but to Him it matters not what we want , It's what He wants is what matters .

[realtmg]

Amen, Amen.
Very good read. We just can't pick who we are to share the gospel to nor who we are to love. That is God's job.
It seems to amaze me in how God works through others.

Thanks vahn.

Luv Ya

Real