Christianity Oasis Forum

[foreverHis]

When you do something nice for somebody,expecting the favour to be returned, you're setting yourself up for dissappointment. Jesus said, "When you help someone..do it - quietly and unobtrusively ( Matt. 6:3-4 ) Your Father knows what is done in secret, and He will reward you" ( Matt6:4) There are certain things everybody has a right to expect, like common courtesy and respect. But too often we place expectations on other people that aren't their responsibility to fulfill. Then when they don't meet our demands we act hurt and disillusioned, when in reality it was our own misguided assumptions that caused the problem.
A well known counsellor says, Many of us have unmet needs from the past.. we want others to fulfill our desire to be loved unconditionally.. some of us are so needy we drive people away. it's not fair to expect another person to 'fix' you, or change your life, or suddenly become who you want them to be in order to make you happy. That kind of behaviour just causes stress, resentment,hostility, and an unhealthy dependency you'll end up dealing with later.. Another problem is expecting others to read your mind when you haven't taken the time to spell out your expectations. How can you blame somebody for not doing something they didn't know you wanted?
Understand this: people are not your answer, God is. If He chooses to use a certain person to bless you, He'll do it; if not He'll use somebody else. So examine your thinking today and ask God to reveal and remove any unrealistic expectations you're living with.
This was me

[splash]

Thanks for sharing ForeverHis!

Even when we're not expecting something in return from the person we've blessed... are we keeping a running tally on our "acceptability"? I think perhaps i continue to do that...try to convince myself i'm ok because i did something good for someone...

I know that without Christ nothing I do is every enough... that i am found acceptable only by the blood... yet that striving is deeply inherent and hard to overcome... it continues to manifest itself.

I'm especially guilty of expecting others to read my mind... of thinking that others are coming from the same background and expectations that I myself am, when in reality they probably see the situation from an entirely different viewpoint. I think I've always felt that "if my husband was really my soul mate he would be able to read my mind and know my heart" without my having to speak it. Although of course i can't read his mind so just what was I thinking...

[realtmg]

Nice Post. At one time in my life I did things to be seen by man to receive their praise. I wanted to be liked and accepted. A "people pleaser".
Paul states in one of his writings that we are not to expect a blessing for doing what we should already be doing as a child of called.
I know the Lord sees all I do and if man commends me all the time, then loftiness and pride might set in. And I am nothing without Him. Do all things as unto the Lord. He deserves it. Luv ya. Real.

[Mackenaw]

Does The Holy Spirit ROCK or what? Wooooooohooooooo!

Thank you all for sharing. Anytime He gives us something to share, His power is in it. His power loves, heals, and blesses. I can feel it, Lord, I can feel it. Thank You.

Love, hugs and His blessings to you,
Mack

[follower_of_Jesus]

awesome post mum thanks for sharing your heart

luv ya lots mum