Christianity Oasis Forum

[vahn]

Reading day 2 once over , brought back some memo's that confirmed the thoughts I was having all day today , things like " hey, I'm smiling , I'm saying hi AND how are you to people" "I feel light, and my heart's not as heavy" . But of course , when something like that happens Mr, Genius here has to find some kind of a problem with that, right ? So I go " ok vahn , this is it , you're certainly a gonner now . this doesnt happen to "normal people" , they dont react like this so soon , and they usually end up in places they dread all their life like, mental wards . So, being led to this retreat , (which by the way happened to be the best dicission I'd made a long time) so I bee line it to the chapel , and went " Ok Pops, what's up ?

Prayer , and meditation later , I step outside , and I heard this "where're you going ? " I dont know what color I had turned at that time , but I surely felt me knees start to go under me , I didnt dare to turn back , for I was 100% sure there was no one there when I came in , I just simply backsteped it inside and sat down , I'm going " ok Lord, if that be you, please , somehow let me know, I just got done telling You what's going on with me , now if You dont answer , I'm heading to the nearest VA and checking myself in , and just started bawling my eyes out , ( I think they're going to christen that river tommorow) , then I felt this arm on my shoulder and same voice saying are you ready to talk about it now ? I looked , and took the deepest breath I'd taken in my life ,
It WAS A REAL PERSON ! but still, had never met him before , said , "I'd appreciate it if you dont do that again" he said "what ? put my hand on your shoulder ? " I said "no, sneek up on me like that and talk behind me like that, when I'm not looking. He said he was one of the founders of the place , and that he heard someone crying and he walked in , I said ,"no, before that" He said "what's going on ? "

Everything , I mean I told him EVERYTHING -No holds-barred , In some places they call that confession , some call it 5th step (AA) . went at it a good part of 3 hours .

So I rush to the college and share that with you , that If it's God that wants you to talk to some one , you will, whether you want to or not, you talk now , or you talk later , but talk , you will, 'cause after the "session" we prayed again , and he said something of a peeling an onion , "its a lot dryer on the eyes if you were to take it apart one layer at a time , but be forewarned the smaller it gets the more it smells , but at the same time , the smaller it gets the easyer it gets to peel " and then he added , "I didnt know anyone was here till I heard you"

[mlg]

Yep, can't out run God can ya? If He has a plan, He's gonna get His way one way or another...even if it takes a few days in a fish's belly. So glad to hear that you were able to finally begin opening up to someone today. This is such an important part of your healing process. You've needed this now for a little while, but have just been holding it all inside.

Another thing is the fact that you've made it to step 2. This means your heading in the right direction. Moving forward instead of back. God is smiling on you for sure.

I continue to pray for you.

luv ya

[---]

take heart Brother...and yes, God will talk to us and uses a variety of ways to do it...good to know that you're committed to doing this...God bless you on your way