Christianity Oasis Forum

[JCsmediator]

ty for sharing kimmy luv ya sisisi *BigHug*

[kimberly]

Dear Emo Diary,

Wow, it has been several days, I have been a little ill....happens now and then. But God always lifts me out of it. When I met Jesus, I was sick, depressed, and didn't care about much of anything. He has lifted so much off of me, and I am so thankful for it all. The days I was sick, I sat and thought about all the things God has done for me, taught me, and given me. It is amazing to me to think of all he has delivered me from.

I guess it was brought to mind by reading Ecclesiastes. Solomon is so adamant about not believing in vain things, or working for useless reasons.....above all, being happy with what God gives you. And why not? Everything I've been given is a gift, including the things I haven't been given! When I think of all the things I have wished, and prayed would be or come to me- that didn't- I am so thankful I don't have them! God truly knows what is best for me...He made me, so He would know!

This is short, Emo, but I wanted to write it down while the amazement was still fresh in me, . Be back soon! Kim

[kimberly]

Dear Emo Diary,

I talk to you about the things I struggle with in my life, and the thought life I work on daily. It IS an effort to keep God on my mind, it is not a breeze, or automatic. And it is sure not easy when I am tempted to say something in anger. And believe me, I get tempted on a regular basis. :D There is ONE person in my life that can bring me to that point, and he is the person I love and live with...my husband.

I find myself being aggravated by the things he says, how he phrases something, or the tone he uses. And this leads me to being aggravated about doing things for him. Oh, I do them, I know it is my calling as his wife. But inside I am thinking, "ungrateful dimwit, let him do it himself-see how he likes THAT." hehehe. NOT good. :D

I asked God yesterday, "Why do I feel this way about serving him?" God answered, "Because you are trying to be a servant with a SLAVE MENTALITY" O my gosh. I never thought about the difference before.

I looked up 'servant' in the dictionary-'one hired for domestic work'. Well, that would be me, I guess. Then I looked up 'slave'- 'one owned and forced into service by another'.

WOW. Although I knew perfectly well I am a servant of Jesus Christ, and therefore I willingly serve others (yah, hubby included), I was mentally and emotionally considering it a slave's position. How awful. I decided I better get a new attitude for it, so off I went to get my bible and concordance.

Well, I got a clear picture of what I am to be, and how I should be looking at caring for my husband. It is not something small to God that my main consideration in this life is my partner. He needs me, all of me, not just the tasks I do....but he needs me to be invested emotionally and mentally- FOR him, not against him. Otherwise, it is just a slave's position that anyone could fill. But God chose me for him, because God has instilled in me the qualities that can help further my spouse for the Kingdom. I am to be mindful of how he is feeling, and consider how I can help, even when he is being difficult. Maybe especially when he is being difficult.

As a servant of Jesus Christ, I CHOOSE to willingly lay down my life....for whatever purpose God chooses. I signed on for this when I said- "Jesus, be the Lord of my life." I see in the bible that being a servant is the best thing there is. Some people become big names in the scope of christianity, they preach world-wide. Some become known for God using them to heal, or teach, or prophesy. We make much of the 'gifts', but tend to belittle the 'helps' ministries.

Why is that? When all we really want to hear Jesus say is- "Well done, good and faithful SERVANT."

I have had an attitude adjustment on serving, Emo. Let me help, Lord, where ever You say. I am willing- in body, spirit, and soul. It's not about me, it's about the Jesus in me.

Thanks for listening, Emo. Be back soon Kim

[kimberly]

Dear Emo Diary....

I have had an amazing week. No upsets, minor twinges of aggravation, and peace that passes understanding in my spirit. I am doing my devotions in the mornings, reading the Word and studying, (yes still in Ecclesiastes :D ), and enjoying my life. Nothing big happening, but to me, that's good! No drama, yay!!!

I pray about everything...doesn't matter how big or doofy it seems to me, the bible says He perfects that which concerns me, so I have been telling Him what concerns me! From my dying bushes out front to my hubby's playing of fantasy games, He cares about it all! Amazing. I keep a prayer journal, not to record prayers, but the answers. It helps to remind me of what God actually does in my life, when I involve Him.

I used to think that little stuff was to small to bother God with, until He asked me why I was being proud about it. PROUD? I work against having pride in my attitude! No, not if I think any of my plans for resolving ANYTHING are better than His. Not if I can't trust Him with everything.

Now, He gets to hear it all. Above all, He wants to hear the truth from me. If I am mad or disgusted, I tell Him, and He has the answer for dissolving those emotions. I feel 'even' this week, for the first time since the move. I knew the key all along, staying ever so close to Him, checking every thought and feeling at the Door, . :D

The topping on my lil bowl of ice cream was this morning's prayer meeting. We just praised by typing song and our love for Jesus. What an uplifting time. The Holy Spirit was into that! It is different every week, I am always eager to see who God will bring, and what He wants done.

Just checking in with you, Emo....be back. Kim

[kimberly]

Dear Emo diary.....

I have been really working on leveling my emotions (again) .I have noticed this:

It has to do a lot with what satan encourages me to feel....If he can get me to feel it, maybe he can get me to think it. If he can get me to think it, maybe he can get me to say it. If he can get me to say it, then most likely, I will do it. Then, he has me. By doing his will, I have given him my will.

This is the progression of sin. At the point of saying, it is in my heart, and doing it seems alright to me. After all, I am just reacting to something someone else did or said, right? Not my fault, right?

Wrong.The worst thing is, all along I had a choice. I had the choice to reject it RIGHT AWAY- at the 'feeling' point. I have the choice to NOT be offended, hurt, rejected, angry..... Or maybe I don't....if I haven't given myself that option.

"Choosing to not"--- is an option I give myself. "Choosing to not" is checking with that inner witness ( the Holy Spirit) that was given to me to be my "Comforter, ( Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby) {John 14:26 amp}......before feeling. And before thinking, saying, and doing.

Anytime something is going to be put in my heart, it should be checked out by the One who lives in there. He has to share room with anything that goes into my heart.....shouldn't He have say over what goes in it?

So, how do I "choose" not to accept a negative feeling into my spirit? There IS a difference between the 'feeling' and receiving it into my heart. This is a war for my emotions, and my spirit. I have to be prepared.

Each and everyday, I put on the armor of God. First...the helmet of salvation. Why a "helmet"? To protect my mind. My thought life needs protection. It needs SALVATION from the world and all it's wicked ways. "But we have the mind of Christ, and hold the thoughts, feelings and purposes of His heart." { 1st Corinthians 2:16 amp}

Take the "breastplate of righteousness"- faith and love..... right standing with God. The breastplate guards my heart, where faith and love reside. Where HE came to live. The heart, what satan is really aiming for. God so loves me, I wear His righteousness as covering for my heart.

"Tighten the belt of Truth"- Why a 'belt'? Belts hold it all together, they wrap around you. The Truth of God should be wrapped around me tightly, no chance of it coming off. The Truth that says who I am in Jesus, that I have weapons both spiritual, and powerful. {2 Corinthians 10:4}

"Feet shod with the Gospel of Peace"---why do feet even come into this? Be cause I am commanded to -"GO" into all the world, preaching and teaching the Word of God. Right. It's not all about ME. It's about Him, and who He wants saved. But before I go, I gotta be prepared. And able to STAND. Not fall into defeat.

"Lift up over all the covering sheild of Faith"---Aha. If I am not protected, then I better do some work on my Faith sheild. it's this 'sheild' of faith that quenches (destroys) the fiery darts of the wicked one.{Ephesians 6:16} To show me how important faith is, God says to lift it up as a covering over ALL.

"Take the sword which the Spirit wields"- Who wields? The Holy Spirit. He is the key to all of it. What is His sword?---the Word of God. The Incorruptible Seed--it just won't rot or not produce. He uses God's Word to overcome, to change bad to good, to deliver and redeem.

So, here's my battle plan..
Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God's consecrated people). {Ephesians 6:18 amp }

My prayer, reading of the Word, and studying it....is what keeps me strong in Him, so that I can recognize and stop ugly, killing emotions from entering my spirit. I might feel them, but I don't have to receive them. Or act on them. That's been my sin....not having the emos, but letting them express themselves to others.


This is renewing my mind , and it's what works. Making myself think on God, even when my emotions are clamoring for me to pay attention to them. Making myself think on what God says about me, not what others say.Focussing on the peace of God, not on the turmoil that can erupt in my life.

It takes me to do it. I can stop the Emo roller- coaster with the only thing that can level it.... concentrated, purposeful, determined Word. When it all starts falling down,I THINK on these things...{Phillipians 4:8}

PRAYER FOR CONQUERING THE THOUGHT LIFE:

In the Name of Jesus, I take authority over my thought life. I fix my mind on the Word. I do not dwell on the wrongs done to me. I lead every thought captive in to the obediance of Christ the Messiah, the Annointed One.With my soul and spirit I bless the Lord with every thought and purpose in life. My mind does not wander out of the presence of God. I practice what I have learned and seen in Jesus. I model my way of living on it,and the God of peace will be with me. Amen. .

[kimberly]

Dear Emo diary....

I guess I tend to think if I don't have an emo crisis, I can't write here, . I have had such joy and deliverance in my life lately, and yeah, I had the Joy first. I think that is how it goes, trust in God that he will do what he says, then....freedom from burdens, deliverance from afflictions.

My emos have been pretty stable, I believe because I have been consistent in my alone time with God, and work at staying connected to Him continually.

I had hand surgery yesterday.....after 5 years of numbness, severe pain, inability to grip things well, trigger fingers that would lock down and have to be pried up....

It went beautifully. Today, I have NO pain, NO numbness, NO swelling, and I am not using any medication for it. Did I pray hard and long for the surgery? Did I beg God to be there, deliver me, work on my behalf? Did I ask Him to bless me, the doctors, the surgery?

No.

I simply told Him He was my God, and I put my trust in Him. I praised. I worshipped.I knew.

I knew, from being with Him, He is always there. I knew, from loving Him, how He loves me. I know, everyday, I am blessed.

I simply trusted Him to do what He says in His Word He will do.

It's amazing how simple He makes it. If I leave it in His hands, how wonderful it turns out.

And I didn't worry----I didn't hinder Him. I didn't doubt.I submitted myself to God, resisted the devil, and he fled from me! {James 4:7}

If you know the Word, you know the Power. In Jesus Name.

Check you later, Emo :D Kim

[susidivah]

Praise the Lord, Kim!!! For your devotion, trust, and faith in Him and for His Deliverance of comfort

Consistency and connection is what He wants from us... amazing how He can handle the rest! Have to remind myself of that and practice every day

I enjoy reading your diary, very inspiring... always feel the Spirit thru you, my sis

GBU and I'll be praying for your continued healing
Susi

[kimberly]

Thanks, Susi. I recognize His Spirit in you, too.

It's an all-inclusive club, y'all come on in! No one is ever turned away. The Water's living, we'll serve ya Bread, you'll never thirst or be hungry again!

Love will live in you. He'll make His home inside you. What's better than that?

[kimberly]

Hiya Emo,

This is one of those days that test the faith.

Isn't self-pity a miserable thing?

Those days that make me wanna say, where is everyone? One went away for the weekend, one went to work, another is getting ready for 'other' family to come in.....

What about me? What about the things that are wrong with my body today? What about how I just feel like crying? What about how no one is here to listen? No one to take a phone call?

My answer is to sit down with some spirit music, a cup of my favorite tea, and tell Jesus. He knows about pain, He knows about betrayal, He knows about over-wrought emotions. I meditate on all He took to the cross, everything He bore----He felt, but never once cried out, "no, it's too hard, I can't do it!"

I wrap up my pitiful little bundle of stuff and place it at the foot of that very awe-inspiring cross, and feel relieved.

To Him I am not small or pitiful. I am in Him, and He in me. He is my friend.

I meditate on His victory over anything I could ever have bothering me. I rejoice, and am glad. His banner over me is Love.

Just thought I'd let ya know, Emo.

[Mackenaw]

Awwwwwwwwww, that one brought tears to my eyes. I know, I know, what else is new, huh -- Mack cries about everything.

Kimberly, I love your candor, but most of all I love how much you depend on Him. Wow! thank you for sharing.

Agape,
Mack

[kimberly]

Dear Emo,

I HATE lying.

It is the one thing that I absolutely get upset with.

For several months, someone close to me has been lying. I KNEW they were. They said they weren't. On top of that, there was anger in them, directed at me if I said the wrong thing. The sin in their life caused it, not me. But I hurt. I felt disappointment. I HURT

For months I pretended it wasn't true. I looked the other way. I prayed. Why didn't God do something? Why didn't He convict this person? Or remeove them from my life?

I found my respect for this person compromised. My liking and love for them nearly gone. I became uncaring in how I spoke to them. The root of bitterness was evident.

Then, the sin was exposed, as well as the lie about it. Hot anger flooded me. Disappointment was swelling into a huge balloon inside me. Pain. Humiliation.

I removed myself from this person's life for two days. Until I could come back to my senses. Until I could calm down. Until I could talk without sputtering in rage. Until my major meltdown was over.

I begged God to release me from this person. I pointed out all that had been done against me. I declared my innocence. I deserved release from them.

God was silent, much to my disappointment. Did He not see? I had been mistreated. Did He not care?

Then, I went to church this morning. While they were singing, I had a picture in my head. There, sitting on the edge of a large, gaping hole, sat......me.

Dangling my feet into the .....pit. The pit of dissappointment. The pit of hurt. The pit of unmet expectations. The pit, saying to myself...."You did it, not me!"

The pit that Jesus had redeemed me from. The pit that, if I got in it and refused to forgive, would eat me alive. The pit of my own making.

Then, God talked. He said (in my head), "If you say you love Me, but do not love your neighbor, you are the liar."

I am no better than anyone else. The other person's sin is no blacker or bigger than mine. Yet, I 'felt' justified.My sin of holding resentment and allowing it to grow, showing it openly....displaying it for all to see---was as bad as the lie. It was a lie, plain and simple.

I can't pick and choose who I show the Love of God to, and say I love Him. Loving God is showing God's love to everyone, including our enemies. Maybe especially those we feel have wronged us. To save us. To save us from the pit of hurt, pain and disappointment.

Jesus was my answer. He can do what I can't. I can't let go, or forgive, or unburden myself. But He can do all that and more. He can restore what has been lost. He can repair that which is broken.

So in that service, I let go. I offered my stinking lie, and He took it. I said how sorry I was for my sin, and received forgiveness. I have been released from the pain, the hurt, and the disappointment.

God's answer was the exposure of the initial lie. If what is hidden in the darkness comes into the Light, it has to be dealt with. Both the liar and the lie-ee have to face and deal.

Jesus pulled me from the edge of the killing pit. I am free, free indeed. Bless God, praise Jesus.

Talk at ya later Emo!
Kim

[Christianity Oasis]

I luv when you share.

I truly hope others are not only reading these shared words but are learning from the experience as to avoid themselves from being caught up in the same web.

Many do not like to consider this, but many times we are allowed to experience trials and tribulation as for us to be able to be used as an example to others as to bring glory to God.

Remember what Jesus said?

John 9:1-3 ... And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

The disciples asked Jesus why this blind man was blind. They sought the ROOT of what the REASON was that he was blinded from birth. Jesus said that he was blinded from birth so that God's miracle would be done in him as to bring glory to God ... Cuz many would come to believe in Jesus because of that man's having been blind for his entire life and healed by Jesus. So he was born blind for ONE reason. To be used to bring people to the Lord later in his life.

We oft times will experience some pretty strange things but if we have faith and are patient ... We will overcome through HIM and in the end have a CURE for others.

James 1:2-3 ... My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

Do you understand the depths of the word CURE ... Kinda like a disease that one builds an immunity to and can share the secret ingredients to this cure with others that fall victim to the plagues of mind and heart.

So, I do hope everyone who partakes of the shared words here will actually KEEP and APPLY the words to their Christian walk as these words are a Spiritual antibiotic as to avoid the pitfalls and even for when you find yourself in this trap of the mind and heart.


Luv all of ya