Christianity Oasis Forum

[kimberly]

Let's talk about ....crying. Do you cry?



What are some of the reasons you cry?



Are you ever ashamed to cry in front of others?



When I was a young child, my dad would make us leave the room if we began to cry. He didn't know how to deal with it. So, for me....crying became something shameful, something you hid.



As a result, by teen years, everything made me want to cry.....emotion eventually overwhelmed me. I went the other direction....not being able to control my crying.



When God began to teach me about my emotions, He emptied me of my tears at first......He knew, if I relied on a 'feeling' to tell me when He was speaking to me, I would never learn to rely on His Word.



I never "feel" the Holy Spirit....I KNOW without a doubt He is with me....always. He lives in me, and when I let Him, He leads and guides and discerns.



I hear others say, "feel the Spirit..." I don't know what that is. God has chosen NOT to use that way with me for some reason of His. I don't mind it. I trust He knows what He wants for each of us.



But back to crying....God has restored my tears. I don't cry in misery, fear, or hurt anymore. The Word of God erased those tears. I found the reason for my tears here:



And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, Abba, Father!

[Show Forth the Praises]

I very, very seldom cry.

Perhaps I should see it as something to be thankful for---that my life is such that I really have little reason to cry.

I don't allow myself to cry in front of people---EVER.

When I cry, I feel like a child, like a regression. I feel an overwhelming need to be held by someone. Living alone for 30 years as I have, there is no one available, ever. No one. No human.

So I ask God to hold me, and He really does----there's nothing like being held, soothed and comforted by Abba.

He feeds the little sparrows, one by one. And holds His little lambs in His arms so gently.

PAMELA

[Show Forth the Praises]

clouddancin:

A local church could possibly help you with transportation, etc.

Given enough advance notice, surely arrangements can be made.

Try a local Calvary Chapel. Call the church office, explain what you need and why.

Your sister in Christ-----------

PAMELA

[goofy371]

I never cry in front of others. when I was 5 I was forbidden to cry or complain about anything. So I have learned to hide my emotions, even I am very sensitive and emotional girl. It is still very hard for me to share, because i always had to deal with my problems or hurts alone. Even when I was abused I did not tell anyone about it.
Once when I was 13 I cried. That night my mom and stepfather had a fight. They almost killed each other, I had to be in the middle to keep them away from that. After my mom as usually ran away and left me alone to deal with drunk stepfather. Usually she came back the next morning, because I had to go to school, sometimes I stayed home for a week if it went too bad, because then she did not come back. That night I cried first time in a long time. Even it was not worse as usually, but I could not keep tears inside. Suddenly my mom came back, she forgot something, she saw me crying and started to shout at me and then left. That night I promised never cry again. From that day my mom have never seen me crying. In few years I was so overwhelmed, that started to cry again. But I've learned to cry without any noise, without any sign, no voice change, no breath change, no red eyes, just silent tears that can be easily dash away.
Now, I am crying a lot, but only if I am alone. I am not ashamed of tears anymore, but I can't cry if someone sees it. Sometimes my heart is breaking and I want to cry, I trust that person, but only thing I can is smile and suffer inside.

[kimberly]

Goofy,

Thank you for posting so honestly...I know others will relate to what you have said.

My heart aches for you and what you have been through. I'm so glad you are here with us. Jesus understands each one of your tears. He can heal anything....

For now, maybe it's good to let some of those bottled up tears out. I hope you also have reasons to smile.

Love and hugs, Kim

[goofy371]

Sure i have many reasons to smile. I don't live in the past. I am so blessed with friends and other people around me.