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Could really use some advise
by morningrain » Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:59 am
School started back here three days ago. My son, is now in 6th grade Jr. High. For the last few years he has been in the Hope Class, smaller class for children with learning disablities, such as Autism. And my son has a form of Autism, he inherited it from me. He has only been in school now for a few days and he is hearing that the class he is in from other kids is the retarded class. Me and him had a talk yesterday, he really wants out of the class and be in all the regular classes with the other kids. He says he knows he has to work harder and he will. He really excells in some areas and does better then most kids, then there are areas he really has a hard time. He does take two regulars classes with all the other kids, but he doesn't realize he will need this other class to help him keep up with the other kids.
See it's not that he can't do that work, it's more of keeping up, He needs to be able to do it at his on pace, trying to take in everything from all the other classes. I know he will not be able to, his grades from prevous years is going to take a major drop most likely. A couple of years ago before entering into the smaller class, he was going through anxiety attacks on a daily basis just getting started cause he was not able to keep up with the other kids. When we got him into a smaller class and he was able to go more at his own pace, we all watched him really take on a change and was able to do the work. He wasn't able to say his abc's all the way through till he was in the fourth grade. Still today he has to go back and correct himself on that. He is really wanting out of this class, and i'm willing but, i know he needs this class and not sure how to explain it to him.
Remember when i went into jr. high and i didn't have the help i did in elementary and keeping up with all the other kids, wasn't able too. Went from A's, B's and C's to almost straight F's. Begin hanging around the wrong crowd, eventually was expelled and then eventually dropped out of school, never made it pass the 9th grade. Reckon in the back of my mind he may take the same road. He has a chance to have the help he needs, but at same time, he seeing himself as someone that is going to be looked down and being retarded by all the other kids for being in this smaller class.
I need a way to explain to him that he needs this class, without telling him that he can't do it the other way. Talked to the distract office this morning and we are setting up an IEP meeting to talk about it in a week or two. Really could use some advise.
Thank you and Lord Bless you all
See it's not that he can't do that work, it's more of keeping up, He needs to be able to do it at his on pace, trying to take in everything from all the other classes. I know he will not be able to, his grades from prevous years is going to take a major drop most likely. A couple of years ago before entering into the smaller class, he was going through anxiety attacks on a daily basis just getting started cause he was not able to keep up with the other kids. When we got him into a smaller class and he was able to go more at his own pace, we all watched him really take on a change and was able to do the work. He wasn't able to say his abc's all the way through till he was in the fourth grade. Still today he has to go back and correct himself on that. He is really wanting out of this class, and i'm willing but, i know he needs this class and not sure how to explain it to him.
Remember when i went into jr. high and i didn't have the help i did in elementary and keeping up with all the other kids, wasn't able too. Went from A's, B's and C's to almost straight F's. Begin hanging around the wrong crowd, eventually was expelled and then eventually dropped out of school, never made it pass the 9th grade. Reckon in the back of my mind he may take the same road. He has a chance to have the help he needs, but at same time, he seeing himself as someone that is going to be looked down and being retarded by all the other kids for being in this smaller class.
I need a way to explain to him that he needs this class, without telling him that he can't do it the other way. Talked to the distract office this morning and we are setting up an IEP meeting to talk about it in a week or two. Really could use some advise.
Thank you and Lord Bless you all
-
morningrain 
- Posts: 325
- Location: SC, United States
- Marital Status: Married
by angel27 » Sat Aug 23, 2008 8:02 pm
Angeltears,
I feel your frustration. This is a very difficult time of your child's life. Middle school as we call it in Florida, is difficult for all students but much more challenging for students with disabilities. The peer pressure from being seen as different is very tough to bear and social interaction is so important now.
When you go to the IEP meeting ask if there is any program at the school where normally developing students are paired with students with disabilities to help them fit in and adjust to the social scene in middle school.
As far as increasing his time with his non-disabled peers, this needs to be done to the greatest extent possible. There may be more supports that can help him do this. Many schools have special education teachers that work in classrooms with general education teachers. This is referred to as co-teaching. This situation provides supports for the students with disabilities as well as providing differentiated instruction for students that have not been or don't qualify for special programs.
Another option that may be available is to have a support facilitator. This is a special education teacher that checks in with the gen ed teacher to see how the student is doing, makes recommendations for strategies that will support the special ed student as well as work individually with the student when necessary to help them be successful in the gen ed setting.
In addition some schools have classes called learning strategies classes where they are taught specific strategies that can help them keep up with the regular classroom.
Also when discussing the IEP ask for assistance in terms of identifying appropriate accommodations that can benefit your son, such as extended time to complete assignments or reducing the number of problems, questions he has to complete. There are also some technology supports referred to as assistive technology which may help him access the curriculum more effectively and/or organize his time and work. Just a brief rundown of some things that may be available that were not when you were in school.
Hope this helps.
I feel your frustration. This is a very difficult time of your child's life. Middle school as we call it in Florida, is difficult for all students but much more challenging for students with disabilities. The peer pressure from being seen as different is very tough to bear and social interaction is so important now.
When you go to the IEP meeting ask if there is any program at the school where normally developing students are paired with students with disabilities to help them fit in and adjust to the social scene in middle school.
As far as increasing his time with his non-disabled peers, this needs to be done to the greatest extent possible. There may be more supports that can help him do this. Many schools have special education teachers that work in classrooms with general education teachers. This is referred to as co-teaching. This situation provides supports for the students with disabilities as well as providing differentiated instruction for students that have not been or don't qualify for special programs.
Another option that may be available is to have a support facilitator. This is a special education teacher that checks in with the gen ed teacher to see how the student is doing, makes recommendations for strategies that will support the special ed student as well as work individually with the student when necessary to help them be successful in the gen ed setting.
In addition some schools have classes called learning strategies classes where they are taught specific strategies that can help them keep up with the regular classroom.
Also when discussing the IEP ask for assistance in terms of identifying appropriate accommodations that can benefit your son, such as extended time to complete assignments or reducing the number of problems, questions he has to complete. There are also some technology supports referred to as assistive technology which may help him access the curriculum more effectively and/or organize his time and work. Just a brief rundown of some things that may be available that were not when you were in school.
Hope this helps.
-
angel27
by morningrain » Sun Aug 24, 2008 9:07 am
Hi angel27, thank you this does help gives me something more to think on for our coming IEP meeting. Which is for Sept. 11th.
He didn't tell me, found out yesterday afternoon, one boy came and pinned pointed him and picked on him. My older son in high school came in to his defence.
Son will be taking one or two classes with non-disabled students. He has been the last two years. Rest of his time in with the disablity students. He has never had a problem with this before. So i'm trying to see where he is coming from, and try to explain why he needs this class without making him feel as though he is not able to do something.
Where as i would almost be willing to take him out of the class but it will hurt him academically badly, so i can't take him out of the class. He is not going to be happy with me on this at all.
Thanks angel what you have said does help. God Bless you angel.
angeltears
I feel your frustration. This is a very difficult time of your child's life. Middle school as we call it in Florida, is difficult for all students but much more challenging for students with disabilities. The peer pressure from being seen as different is very tough to bear and social interaction is so important now.
When you go to the IEP meeting ask if there is any program at the school where normally developing students are paired with students with disabilities to help them fit in and adjust to the social scene in middle school.
As far as increasing his time with his non-disabled peers, this needs to be done to the greatest extent possible.
He didn't tell me, found out yesterday afternoon, one boy came and pinned pointed him and picked on him. My older son in high school came in to his defence.
Son will be taking one or two classes with non-disabled students. He has been the last two years. Rest of his time in with the disablity students. He has never had a problem with this before. So i'm trying to see where he is coming from, and try to explain why he needs this class without making him feel as though he is not able to do something.
Where as i would almost be willing to take him out of the class but it will hurt him academically badly, so i can't take him out of the class. He is not going to be happy with me on this at all.
Thanks angel what you have said does help. God Bless you angel.
angeltears
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morningrain - Posts: 325
- Location: SC, United States
- Marital Status: Married
by Timothy » Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:54 am
Hi Angeltears,
This post is for all who struggle with the issue you brought up.
Thank you for bringing it up. It is more common we think.
Please read the recent post by foreverbelongs in the Parenting forum under the topic of Special Needs Children. Forever's feelings could apply here. (?)
Also, I strongly advocate for children in middle and high schools to attend their IEP Team meetings. He might have something to say for himself. He might not realize that others see strengths in him and what those might be. This will also show him why the IEP Team feels this class would be of benefit to him. By attending his IEP Team meeting this will empower him in his own decision making process and will teach him to speak up and advocate for himself and for his own needs, and will offer him a chance to develop some self respect.
Another thought is that we all will face some kind of bullying or discrimination or indifference of some kind through out out lives. Might be with doctors, bosses, insurances, city officials, or members of the community at large, and even within our own families. We need to know how to be condifent in ourselves. This is how we can deal with the ignorant and arrogant in our society. Our children need to know why they are taking certain classes. They need to know how it will affect them, how they will benefit from them, how it can be applied to other classes or situations.
As we all should know, a "special needs class" is not a "retard class'!
Mostly our children need to understand this, that there is no such thing as a retard class.
The IEP Team evaluates the educational needs of a child and then developes an "Individualized" plan of education for for that child. Some children need "SKILL BUILDING" or "DEVELOPMENTAL" classes. Many general education students get tutoring, especially in colleges. Many go to summer school to make up for "lost information" or missed credits during the regular school year. Some might need social skill development or language development or organizational development or emotions and anger management, or other forms of instruction not offered in the general education curriculum.
When a child can understand "WHY" they are taking skill building, or developmental classes, they can understand what their needs are so they can focus on those needs for themselves and not because mom and dad say they have to. When a child understands, why, the child can give themself a voice to rebuke those who who make false and ignorant comments about them. They will learn how to stand up for themselves.
When a child understands their strengths, and pursues them, and gets stronger in them, this has a tendency towards self discipline which adds strength to areas that they aren't so strong in.
All of the above builds self confidence. It will show. It will read: "No bullying tolerated here!"
Questions to ask ourselves:
1. What are my child's strengths and interests?
2. What am I doing to help him or her build upon those strengths and interests.
3. How can my child use those strengths and interests to in other areas where they aren't so strong.
Above all! Most importantly!
Is a strong solid foundation.
For those times in life when we are tested,
we need to know where we stand and the truth of that.
And everyone here knows who I'm talking about.
One last thing Angeltear. I encourage you to let your child read andgel27's response, my response, and foreverbelong's post.
Edit as you may see fit, but keep the messages intact.
Thank you all for your time and consideration.
Thank you angeltears, this is a good topic.
Thank you angel27, great information!
God Bless,
Timothy
Timothy Affholter
Parent & My Son's Advocate
This post is for all who struggle with the issue you brought up.
Thank you for bringing it up. It is more common we think.
Please read the recent post by foreverbelongs in the Parenting forum under the topic of Special Needs Children. Forever's feelings could apply here. (?)
Also, I strongly advocate for children in middle and high schools to attend their IEP Team meetings. He might have something to say for himself. He might not realize that others see strengths in him and what those might be. This will also show him why the IEP Team feels this class would be of benefit to him. By attending his IEP Team meeting this will empower him in his own decision making process and will teach him to speak up and advocate for himself and for his own needs, and will offer him a chance to develop some self respect.
Another thought is that we all will face some kind of bullying or discrimination or indifference of some kind through out out lives. Might be with doctors, bosses, insurances, city officials, or members of the community at large, and even within our own families. We need to know how to be condifent in ourselves. This is how we can deal with the ignorant and arrogant in our society. Our children need to know why they are taking certain classes. They need to know how it will affect them, how they will benefit from them, how it can be applied to other classes or situations.
As we all should know, a "special needs class" is not a "retard class'!
Mostly our children need to understand this, that there is no such thing as a retard class.
The IEP Team evaluates the educational needs of a child and then developes an "Individualized" plan of education for for that child. Some children need "SKILL BUILDING" or "DEVELOPMENTAL" classes. Many general education students get tutoring, especially in colleges. Many go to summer school to make up for "lost information" or missed credits during the regular school year. Some might need social skill development or language development or organizational development or emotions and anger management, or other forms of instruction not offered in the general education curriculum.
When a child can understand "WHY" they are taking skill building, or developmental classes, they can understand what their needs are so they can focus on those needs for themselves and not because mom and dad say they have to. When a child understands, why, the child can give themself a voice to rebuke those who who make false and ignorant comments about them. They will learn how to stand up for themselves.
When a child understands their strengths, and pursues them, and gets stronger in them, this has a tendency towards self discipline which adds strength to areas that they aren't so strong in.
All of the above builds self confidence. It will show. It will read: "No bullying tolerated here!"
Questions to ask ourselves:
1. What are my child's strengths and interests?
2. What am I doing to help him or her build upon those strengths and interests.
3. How can my child use those strengths and interests to in other areas where they aren't so strong.
Above all! Most importantly!
Is a strong solid foundation.
For those times in life when we are tested,
we need to know where we stand and the truth of that.
And everyone here knows who I'm talking about.
One last thing Angeltear. I encourage you to let your child read andgel27's response, my response, and foreverbelong's post.
Edit as you may see fit, but keep the messages intact.
Thank you all for your time and consideration.
Thank you angeltears, this is a good topic.
Thank you angel27, great information!
God Bless,
Timothy
Timothy Affholter
Parent & My Son's Advocate
-
Timothy 
- Posts: 667
- Location: Michigan
- Marital Status: Married
Bullying
by Timothy » Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:59 am
Many States and or School Districts have antibullying policies.
I encourage everyone to check with your school and also with the
school district on such policies and who enforces them.
Timothy
I encourage everyone to check with your school and also with the
school district on such policies and who enforces them.
Timothy
-
Timothy - Posts: 667
- Location: Michigan
- Marital Status: Married
IEP's
by Timothy » Wed Aug 27, 2008 4:21 am
Did you know:
The parent has as much authority on the IEP Team as anyone else at that tabel.
No one on the IEP Team is "over" anyone else. Not the teacher, not the principle, not even the school district rep. All are equal to you.
Never sign an IEP right after the IEP meeting. Always take a copy home and look it over for a couple of days. Have an advocate review it with you. You'll be suprised at how many "mistakes" are made.
If in doubt, agree to disagree. Research it and come back to the table another day.
The parent has as much authority on the IEP Team as anyone else at that tabel.
No one on the IEP Team is "over" anyone else. Not the teacher, not the principle, not even the school district rep. All are equal to you.
Never sign an IEP right after the IEP meeting. Always take a copy home and look it over for a couple of days. Have an advocate review it with you. You'll be suprised at how many "mistakes" are made.
If in doubt, agree to disagree. Research it and come back to the table another day.
-
Timothy - Posts: 667
- Location: Michigan
- Marital Status: Married
by Lionhearted » Mon Oct 13, 2008 5:26 am
Hi angel ...
i ran into trouble with the education system and my son when he was 5 !!
they wanted to label him autistic AND ADD
he's now 21 and doesn't have, nor did he ever have autism or ADD.
i took him out of school and taught him myself (much to the chagrin of ALL family members and the school system)
i'm not struggling with it now, but i was; and over the course of 15 years of education and being in the circles of home education .... you have no idea how common my story is .... the story of not being able to "pigeon hole" kids into the system .... so basically, they 'blame' the kids rather than the system.
i say blame because its the kids have to go to 'special' class ... its the kids who have to deal with all of it.
my advice to you, is to educate him yourself.
i know its tough, my daughter is developmentally delayed, she has physical issues from her first year of life as she was almost starved to death (we adopted her) ... and we've done grade 1 THREE TIMES
school's just not her thing ... she's very gifted in other areas (very much an outdoor/tomboy little girl) and has a heart of pure gold ... yet still,
school's not it for her.and i say three times because thats more of an indicater of MY inability to figure it out, than it is of her inability to do it.
i'll leave you with a little tidbit that i've learned over the years about the education system ... there is only 20% of the population that learns the way they teach the kids in the system (its a lecture style of learning similar to university) ... thats how you get the small percentage of "brainers" that everybody knows about at school ... the rest of the population muddle through with low Bs and Cs ... then you've got the ones that won't even 'fake' it .... they are the ones that are the truest to my heart ... the system doesn't meet their needs and they aren't even gonna muddle/pretend that it does (i call this the iep process)
i pray for God's strength and wisdom and will in your decision as He's the one who gave you your son...
robyn
The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph
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Lionhearted - Posts: 382
- Location: Swift Current, Saskatchewan
- Marital Status: Married
by Timothy » Wed Oct 15, 2008 1:48 pm
Detroit's public school system is millions of dollars in the hole.
About to be taken over by the State any time now.
Who is the first, and only so far, to be cut?
Yep, dozens of special needs support staff and bus drivers.
About to be taken over by the State any time now.
Who is the first, and only so far, to be cut?
Yep, dozens of special needs support staff and bus drivers.
-
Timothy - Posts: 667
- Location: Michigan
- Marital Status: Married
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