Christianity Oasis Forum

[Deelegros]

My husband sat me down today and told me we needed to take our separation further. He said he does not want to lead me in the wrong direction. He does not want to continue being in my space, is what he said. He will not be sleeping here, but this is our home and wants to come and see the kids throughout the day as he does now. He said he will take a few days to figure out where he's going to go and his things, etc.
I cried on and off. I talked about god and how he does not agree with divorce. I reminded him of all the things I have been doing to try and work on myself so I can be a better wife, a better person. I know he has seen changes in me. I'm calmer, I'm much more patient, I'm more at peace and the bitterness and resentment that once was there, is gone. There is no way he hasn't noticed. I have turned my head after knowing about him being with another woman. I ignored it because I felt I had a big part in him moving on.
I could have spoken to her the day I went through his phone and saw the texts that broke my heart. I could have gone to his job, waited until she got off and spoken to her. Told her we still lived together, slept in the same bed, have two beautiful and amazing kids together. I didn't do any of those things and will not do any of those things because I know my part in the situation. With that said...........It hurts SO much. To even THINK that my husband has moved on in any way. To think that MY husband tells another woman love you or calls her babe. He's MY husband....
He said this is not happening because of her and I know he's right. It's happening because he was not happy anymore. We didn't see eye to eye and forgot how to communicate properly. Unfortunately, I feel she has become a big part of the situation, now. But sometimes it takes something HUGE like this for things to change. It took me losing him to realize the path I was going down. Being judgmental, being bitter, resentful, unforgiving, disrespectful. I wish I would have had this clarity before, but I didn't. And now it's too late. I did have doubts that would creep in. But I had faith that god was going to restore our marriage. I had faith in my husband that he was going to do the right thing. I feel like god is waiting to give us this HUGE, AMAZING miracle. He's just waiting for us to accept it. I said that to my husband today.
I told him we had to have boundaries. I can't handle him living elsewhere and walking into the house everyday as if nothing. I need some sort of boundaries so I can keep my sanity and continue to be a good mother.
I'm sorry for such a long post everyone.
If there is anyone out there who is having marital issues. Trust, bad communication, resentment, bitterness because of past mistakes.... Let it go!!!! Turn to your spouses today, right now! And hug them like you did one day long ago when all was well. Let today be a new day to an amazing beginning of true happiness. Of unconditional love. You have the power to make that change within you. Let it go, before it's too late.
I hope this helps at least one person out there.

[mlg]

Hi deelegros,

Just want you to know that Jesus loves you. I have some thoughts to share but tonight I am very tired. I will be back tomorrow to post more. Hang in there.

God bless

[dema]

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[mlg]

Hi Deelegros,

I apologize for just now getting back here to post my reply to you. My life is really crazy busy right now. Sometimes I think I might need 48 hours in a day instead of 24.

Deelegros,

You can't force your husband to stay and I know you know this. He has to want to stay. I want to encourage you to continue to be kind to your husband during this trying time. Keep your head up and focus on God. You are going to need your relationship with God to be the strongest it can be in the days to come. Your children need you also. Children can sense when something is wrong, and it can effect them also. They need you to reassure them that everything is going to be ok, and that you love them as much now as ever.

It's ok to cry deelegros. Tears are healing. Psalm 30:5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Your joy is coming deelegros. It may not be what you want, but God is still God.

I want to share a song with you. It's called Even If by Kutless.



God Bless you....you have friends here at the Oasis who continue to pray for you.

[Deelegros]

Thank you mlg for your replies. Beautiful song. I appreciate it very much.