Christianity Oasis Forum

[dema]

I see you got your name change. Lol. Good for you.

[HickoryNut]

I find it hard to believe I have made it this far and am still benefiting from the program.
I'm in a good place, and am not as anxious over my quest to forgive. Its not a simple case of saying it out loud, you need to find the (full) forgiveness inside you first. Its there somewhere...

[HickoryNut]

Todays lesson was on the need for fellowship. They recommend you go to the chat room, but since I changed my user name I just get a message that my email address is already taken, so cannot get in (I have written to the webmaster concerning this). Besides, I have tried going in there a number of times, both day and night, and there has never been anyone in there. So I will proceed outside of Oasis.

I have wanted to attend a service at a community church near me, so I am going to do that on Sunday. I think that fulfills an effort to find fellowship with other Christians.

I have found a habit to do for 40 days, from a previous lesson. I had decided that I would get in the habit of saying a prayer first thing, as soon as I get up. I mentioned earlier a favorite author of mine named Hugh Prather. I went to Amazon to see if he was still writing books on Christianity. I found a lot there. He wrote a book called Morning Notes, a book he said he would never write, a 365 page book meditating on Christian practices during the day (He felt there were plenty of them on the market, but then felt moved to do so himself). I thought perfect, I will read one page a day over coffee, not 40, but all the days. Perfect.

I was telling a Christian friend about buying the book this morning, and told her about another book he wrote "A Book of Spiritual Games" and told her about one of the exercises, and she wrote back that she wanted to buy it. I thought that was interesting, after reading about helping someone and how God runs our encounters with other people. So maybe I already did the exercise of helping someone out today. Before I read the lesson, but still...

[HickoryNut]

Wow! I finished the course.

I am taking a couple days off to let things sink in finally. Then I will start on another course.

It has been interesting reading back from page 1, see all the anger slowly dissipate. I could say I have forgiven her now, but I need the depth of that forgiveness to settle in.

My mother, who knew her end was near, told me that what she hoped for us was to heal as a family. We haven't done that. We act appropriate around each other, but seldom see one another and don't function as brothers and sisters. I am thinking now that accepting this woman into the family will make the difference. She was successful in destroying this family, but we can still rise again, perhaps her forgiveness is what is needed to accomplish that. The brothers are rather indifferent, but a change in me, might initiate a change in them. Funny how it all comes down to God changing me.

[dema]

You really have changed. Praise the Lord.

Do be aware that she might not want to have an extended family. A lot of people don't. Which is their loss. Please make sure that your brother knows about the invitations. Email can be helpful since you can copy everybody on that.

God bless you.

[HickoryNut]

Hi Dema,

Thanks for your comments, I do watch for them and appreciate them. It must keep you busy watching and helping the others.

I am not too worried about her not wanting an extended family. We may be dysfunctional, but we "pretend" nicely. I also think the boys have mellowed as they aged. We all have less to prove at our age. But we have drifted apart, and I am hoping to get all three of us in one house for whatever reason (Christmas, birthdays, etc). I don't know how she will feel about it since it would have to be at their house. I cannot accommodate 5 people in my small house, and the other brother lives in a trailer, so I will have to invite myself and him. I think my brother would welcome it and she may even too. She has made efforts along the way to proceed as if none of this ever happened.

She has put the strawberries up in her freezer for me and as soon as our raspberries come to harvest, I will take a batch to them when I pick up the strawberries. That should make for a pleasant visit.

We had a good conversation on the phone last week. I had a episode of vertigo, and she has been suffering from it for a year. So we talked about symptoms and what we know about it. So she is quite sociable with me. I don't know if there is a line, or where she would draw it. But what matters most is my brothers coming together with me, and their significant others are a welcome part of that. Its the best that I can offer. I am thinking this will have a good outcome.

I am looking forward to following the program about calling and the gifts of the spirit.

This is a really nice website.

[dema]

That all sounds wonderful. God bless you. Yes, this is a nice website. You sound so much better. It's wonderful.