Christianity Oasis Forum

[ChristianMentor20]

I love my work...most of the time. I love being able to reach out and help a young life, even over the phone, it amazes me how one similar story and small voice can touch a life and help that person find the light. But how can I be of help at my job if I can't focus on my job?

It is very taxing work, emotionally and mentally being ready for anything, having to make those heart stopping 911 calls for people who are so very close to the edge when nothing else works. Wondering if that person made it through another weekend, how their relationship with God will turn out or maybe will they call again in 4 days? Another red flag? Another report? Balancing all of this right now for me is very stressful with a baby and recently single mom. I have been single for a while technically but now that Noah's daddy is gone gone...its even more realistic that I AM ALONE IN THIS!

I don't understand what I did to deserve this. I don't get it. I'm not angry at God, I know sometime I will understand His Will when I get to heaven. I am jut so exhausted with this Life. I want so very badly to curl up in the arms or our Father and sob. I have to hold it together at work and co-workers have noted "how well I'm getting by" when inside it's like I died a little myself.

Has anyone else ever experienced such grief? I lost 2 siblings growing up and hadn't felt this kind of heartbreak even with them. Is it such a difference when it is your first love/father of your baby? It feels like I'm walking around broken...constantly.

[gantonio45]

First, let me just say that I am very sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to fathom what it must be like.

After reading your post, I felt moved by the Spirit and compelled to write to you. As you mentioned, someday, when you yourself go to Heaven, you will understand all the plans He laid out for you in this life. It is important to stay in faith and remember these truths.

God NEVER gives us more burden then He knows we can handle. Never. God is in Himself, such purity and Light, that He wants no suffering for any one of us. Therefore we can rest in knowing that when times are rough, and we feel that sadness and despair, we know that IS NOT THE END of that particular trial. God's plans for us always end positively and in peace. Rest in knowing for that as long as you hurt, you still have more to conquer and overcome.

God KNOWS that you will do just fine. Remember you are never alone, and you won't have to raise Noah alone. He will always have a Father; and you will too.

May you find peace. God Bless. For being a mother, is a true miracle.

[mary hernandez]

My condolences...my heart and prayers go out to you and your family...so very sorry for the loss of your precious loved one....I know exactly what you mean and how you feel...I lost my (rape baby) when I was only14yrs old...not a day goes by that I don't think of this baby...even it came about by force without my personal consent....It was growing inside me...that baby was a part me regardless of how it was conceived...that was 32 yrs ago...I have no children till tis day...but, I find comfort by pouring into other people's children even though they are not my own...I love children....and they love me...I have helped in raising countless children all my life...I love to build them up and teach them about Gods love and mercy and grace...8yrs ago I lost my first love to a stray bullet meant for someone being chased by someone with a gun trying to kill him...I was being placed into a nursing(rehb) home...after being in the hospital for 2 months straight....when we had lost contact the same week they moved me into that home...he lived in Georgia and was called back to house he was raised in on the west side of Chicago cuz his Grandma was in a coma..by the grace of God he got to see his Grandma before he was called home...sept 29th 2006....we were engaged to be married...when I got out of the hospital...but,He didn't make it...I literally felt so lost wthout him...like a part of me died with him...not to mention I was also dealing with the lossof my best friend Dina who died the day before my birthday that same year august 12 th 2006...the day before I had to go into surgery cuz my intestines had ruptured...lost a lot of people close to my heart during the following months as well...went through a serious rough patch...then as I was finally getting a bit of grip on life...I lost my Great Grandma in Oct of 2009...a month later on nov 21st day before my Grandpa's birthday he passed as well...I sunk into the deepest depression ever...I loved my Grandparents dearly...they mostly raised me...and my Grandpa was really my only father figure I had in my life till then....10 months later on august 12th again the same day I lost my best friend in 06 I lost my Grandma...all in a years time....talk about being lost and broken....God began to do something within me...He was healing me of the pain I was literally drowning in...He touched me...and healed me...and restored me...to where I was able to cope n deal with the many many losses in my life...He taught me to REALIZE we all have an expiration date where we all must be called home...cuz it just was their time...and, that they had fulfilled their purpose somehow and it was time to join the Lord....and taught me how to be at peace with it...and celebrate the time he allowed us to share with each one of them..to appreciate their life through remembrance...through their memory their spirits live on....and someday we will be together again...when my time on earth expires and I fulfilled my purpose here on earth as well...you have a purpose...and you must have a grace about you to speak and pour into people on the edge of a serious meltdown...that's called purpose...he is using you to reach his people...thing is you shouldn't wear that burden on your shoulders of what happens after you have gracefully done your part...just pray for them..let go and let God....we can only intervene...God does the rest love....I used overload myself with those kinda thoughts too...we are only human..wecan only do so much...God is in control...continue to let God use you mightily...just remember not to over load too much upon yourself....let God cover those people...you just intervene and pray..no more..no less...there is power in prayer...but even more in thanking him for his blessings over whatever or who ever you are praying about...I that you will find comfort in my story/testimony and maybe receive a healing for your soul...in Jesus name I pray amen