Christianity Oasis Forum

[gailamnu]

Hate to admit this, it's day 6 but I'm on lesson 3. Mainly because I got scared after day 1 and then had to stay on lesson 2 (renewing the mind) for 3 days. Because my stubborn mind is where I allowed satan to set up a stronghold.

Negative voices from the past, my own condemning words, ungodly thoughts and a worldly lifestyle that satan offered up and I chose to fill my mind with instead of God. I couldn't believe the thoughts that had been filling my mind. I used to talk to God constantly, it was just a natural thing, even when I was doing wrong I would talk to Him. But lately I had shut out the voice of the Holy Spirit and replaced it with other things.

At first I was appalled at what I had been dwelling on these last months. The familiar shame and condemnation would flood over me, along with the same desire to run to the addictions that would numb those thoughts and feelings.

But this time the light came on, I was so excited that at least a struggle was beginning in my mind and a glimmer of hope was shining through the fog. Being here with godly people exposing me to scripture and encouraging me to get back in the Word is what gave me a jumpstart back toward God. I would read scripture, not feeling anything, but I didn't want to give up. I kept reading and "oh the joy that floods my soul, something happened, and now I know, He touched me, and made me whole.." I'm glad ya'll couldn't hear me sing that! But glad God hears me!

So I press on in the Word, and what has made the difference? What has made me able to keep trying even if i fall, get back up, and not give up this time? Well with perfect timing, here came the next lesson... GRACE... God's love and forgiveness... I couldn't have kept on trying without grasping it. And the lesson was reinforced through yet another spirit filled chat class on the new covenant tonight! What a wonderful example was used about the difference between a loveless marriage and a love-filled one... it was about old and new covenant... but for me it was also a reminder of why I should persist and not keep hiding in fear, another reminder of God's grace and mercy, that He wants us to obey Him out of our love for Him and because He loves us so much. Not just because we fear Him and His punishment. Yes, he corrects and disciplines us, but He also runs down the road with open arms to embrace His prodigal child.

What a good God we have, how loving and patient, He is faithful when we are unfaithful, His power is made perfect in our weakness, He is compassionate and will not turn His face from us if we return to Him, He is abounding in love to all who call on Him... Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!

[Mackenaw]

Hello Gail,

God bless you!

Awwwww, what a wonderful post. Your honesty is so refreshing, and that is a key ingredient to opening yourself up to receive what God has for you.

Soon after I started hearing from The Holy Spirit, He told me that He could not teach me anything if I thought I already knew everything, so I should approach The Word / The Bible as if I had not read the scriptures before. That way, He could reveal to me afresh. I've never forgotten it, and woooooooohooooooo He never ceases to amaze me.

Yes, Yes, Yes our God is so very Good. Jesus wows me.

Thank you, Gail, for sharing your heart with us.

Love, hugs and God's blessings to you,
Sister Mack