Christianity Oasis Forum

[Montreal]

Hello,
My name is Matt and I am an 18 year old christian. I have grown up in a christian family and am very blessed in that. I know Godwell but there is one problem I really really struggle with. I have been struggling with it for years. That problem started with lust but has grown and grown to reach pornography. I am caught in the midst of it. I know what it can do to me but yet I continue to do and look at bad things. When looking at them I feel adrenaline running through my body and it feels good but when I am done I feel absolutely nothing but pure emptiness and guilt inside me. I have told my paren ts of this problem and it helped for a bit butt now I'm back to what I was before. I have tried the stepping stones many times before only to fail midway
This is such a struggle. I am going to college next year and I'm afraid that I'll be left alone many times which will just increase the temptation to look at porn. I don't know what to do. I am trying to trust God in every way but I'm losing faith that I will be able to bet this addiction. Which is way I am now on this site.I need to become accountable to others and I know that. I can't win this battle on my own. Where two are gathered in Gods name there God is in the midst of them. I would greatly appreciate much prayer as I struggle with this addiction. Thank you.

[dema]

Satan likes to make this problem so big that it blocks out all light.

It is a bad thing.

But Jesus still loves you.

Jesus loves you. Yes, really. Even right after. Jesus loves you.

Shrink the problem down. Ask for forgiveness each time and move on.

Also, why and when do you do it? Do you do it because you are disappointed in life? Is it a drug?

Sexual urges are natural. I personally, and I have found many others agree, think that self-release can beat some alternatives. We are weak vessels after all.

But pornography isn't a good thing. Many married men use it and it hurts their wives and their marriages. It makes them think they need things that aren't natural.

Where are you getting this porn? If you have paper porn - throw it out. If you have movies - throw them out.

And if you are going to web sites - be aware that those sites will destroy your computer. I know a man who got permanently labeld as a sexual predator because those site send up other sites and somebody reported him for looking at child porn.

The woman later admitted that she reported him out of spite and most of the pictures were not. But she found one that was and figured she could get him in trouble. Well, she really did. His wife stayed with him through the court stuff, and then she left him. She knew it wasn't child porn, but she also knew it was porn. She didn't want him in jail but she didn't want to be with a pervert. Anyway, it was a business associate. And he was upset and telling anybody who would listen and his wife backed him up. The woman who was mad at him was an employee.

You give the enemy tools against you. You really, really need to stay off of those sites. They are evil. And anybody who knows computers will know you've been there. And the sites themselves know you've been there. ANd they will send advertisements to somebody else just sitting on your computer sometimes. You can say,""Oh wow! how did that happen?" but people will know.

It's bad stuff. Sex should give you the feelings you describe - in a nicer way - with your spouse. But people who get addicted to porn frequently can't feel that with their spouse. Normal sex just doesn't do it for them.

Your hurting your future when you look at porn. You are hurting any future sexual relationships in your life.

[Dora]

Brother Montreal,
Welcome to Oasis.
I am so glad to hear you are trying to stay pure. It is difficult. We all have our weaknesses. I did notice the only two who have shared with you are two MARRIED WOMEN! Ugh! I pray brothers who have struggled with similar will speak up and encourage you.

What is on my heart to share with you is don't carry the guilt. Yes we should be convicted to change but guilt is from the devil. It's not from God. God cares for you to much to put such a heavy burden on you.

You are the same age as my son. If my son shared as you did I would be so proud of him. For sharing and for facing this problem. Many go on and don't even consider it wrong or hurtful but you are wise to know the truth. I applaud you for that!

When we cant have something it's exactly what our minds focus on. Do you have some ammunition in your bag? Things you can distract yourself with when the desire to look at porn hits you? Does music distract you? Painting, drawing, dancing, running, tossing a basketball or soccer ball around, standing on your head? @ the last one.

I hope this helps. You take care bro and just know that you are loved by God and by me and many more.

[momof3]

Hi Matt and welcome to Oasis....youre in a good place!

I believe the Lord led you here for healing and to grow you more in your relationship with Him. Seeking help and encouragement and prayers from other believers is a nudging from the Holy Spirit and youre on your way to the healing He wants to do within you.

I just wanna add to what my sisters in Jesus have already said...Ive seen many many lives changed through the studies here at Oasis...especially the counselling steps here in this forum. Take one day at a time and watch how the Lord changes us from within....grows us, shows us deep-seated things we didn't know were affecting our walks with Jesus...showing us truth and digging out those lies the enemy of our souls has sold us on. You arent alone in your struggle...and you arent alone in your walk. Im so glad youre here.

Many people will walk with you and pray for you, be sure.

You are in all of my prayers, as well as many others.

I look forward to walking with you along this path if you choose to do the counseling. I know you will be changed. I know you will find peace. I know you will find healing. I know you will find the grace He loves you with...its already there...you gotta see it.

In Jesus,
love momo

[Montreal]

I thank everyone who has replied to me in this matter. That means a lot to me , I just pray that someone with the same problem will reply as well. Two people with the same problem is a lot stronger than one. Then we can challenge each other and I believe it would be easier to defeat the problem if were working together in Gods name. Thank you to everyone who is praying for me. I almost gave in again today, but the strength of God delivered me. Please continue to pray for me as well as so many other boys who struggle with the same problem. Thankyou

[Timothy]

Montreal, we have the most awesomely awesome sisters!!!

We thank the Lord for sending us His love and support thru our precious and wonderful sisters! \o/ \o/ \o/

Montreal, what helped me was to open my bible and read whenever I got that urge tread where I shouldn't.
A brother shared in chat some years ago that he encountered temptations from a certain billboard over
the road which he traveled home from work. He changed his route home.
Another shared that in public when his eyes "roamed" he would turn his head and look someplace else like,
the wall!
The computer can put up some tempting pictures. Thats when you go to your "favorites" or "bookmarked"
files and click on the Christianity Oasis link you saved that opened the door to HIS kingdom.
Read the forums for a confirming word or research a study for some spiritual growth. Pray for others in
their hour of need.

Montreal, re-read the posts above, they are packed with truth and wisdom!
Re-read them often. I believe you will get something new out of them every time you read them. \0/

Realtmg has posted a number of times that anyone dealing with an addiction can contact him.
If you can recall, one of his first pieces of advice was, and still is, to seek the kingdom of God first.
Momof3 has noted, if you choose to do the counseling she will be at your side.
And you have already given wittness to the fruits of the powerful prayer warriors who have posted above,
and to those who have gone to their prayer closets, stood boldly before God to make up the hedge of
protection on your behalf. And we will continue to do so.

Brother Matt, upon your victory, share with us your testimony, then join us in standing in the gap for others
whom the Lord puts before you. .

Peace and Grace to you through Jesus Christ our Lord,
Timothy
watching your example

[momof3]

Timothy, I luv you, brother. God is so good. Hugs to you and yours....and many many prayers...

Matt....you are so NOT alone. God led you here for a purpose. He doesnt do anything by "ooops".

I have to go find a scripture your post reminded me of, Timothy...one of my very favorites..about standing in the gap...and standing between the living and the dying....and, the whole story is an awesome example of how God works...and hears...and leads us to do just that. Matt, stick around..you are in for some miracles you thought were impossible. We have a big God. He loves you so much...and He led you here.

[mlindywise]

Bless you for your honesty, little brother. I have been celibate for 12 years and I too have struggled with temptation. How the Lord delivered (s) me is by:

2Co 10:3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
2Co 10:4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
2Co 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

So, when I get an impure thought, or an evil imagination (remember the scripture says to cast down imaginations,-- it's when we start imagining and fantasizing that we get into trouble--take that thought captive (lasso it in your mind) and say No! I And if it comes again, I say No! and it comes again and I say No, and then I say the Lord rebuke thee Satan, I will not sin against my Jesus who purchased me with His blood. (By the way, this is the way to overcome all kinds of sin, (by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.) Rev 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

Taking thoughts captive is the only way. Nip them in the bud before you start mulling them over in your head. That's why Jesus said:
Mat 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

The operative words are looketh on a woman to lust after her. Before there is sin, there is that thought, that imagination, that fantasy.

Jas 1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
Jas 1:15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

There are steps before it becomes the actual sin. And the first step is the thought. Master your thoughts (take your thoughts captive) and by the grace of Jesus, and prayer,you will master this problem. I try to master them, (by God's grace and to His glory,) by just saying No when I have an evil thought. If they are continous, I know that it is a demonic attack. Then you tell the devil to take a hike. The best way to do that is tell him the story of his defeat 2000 years ago when our precious saviour, Jesus, defeated him on the cross, by shedding His very own fully human, yet Godly, perfect, sinless blood, took our punishment, paid the price of our death, and was raised again from the dead, ascended to the Father, reconciled us to the Father, and is right now alive and sitting at the right hand of God the Father in glory, and interceding for you day and night. The devil hates that story! Oh don't we love that story!!!

I am not trying to be simplistic, this is war and you must wage a good warfare, little brother. If you fall, you get back up again, we are not perfect, unfortunately, that is why there is that cleansing blood. 1 John 1:9.

Rom 7:19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. 22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? Rom 7:25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

Pro 24:16 For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again...that is figurative as per :

Mat 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
Mat 18:22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

So falling seven times is a figurative number, there is no limit to the grace of God--the blood is more powerful and ever cleansing our sin. 1 John 1:9.

Your position of being just is from the position of what Jesus did for you on the cross. You are justified, (just as if you had never sinned), sanctified ,(made clean) and that on an ongoing basis, righteous (through Christ' righteousness,) delivered, (set free from the power of sin and death and have being given all things pertaining to life and Godliness.) And redeemed, purchased from the enemy by the blood of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. That precious fountain never loses its power. The blood cleanses you and covers you. These are a few of the precious promises of Jesus that we can stand on when being tempted or having fallen.

I also make sure that I have renounced all the unprofitable works of darkness in prayer. This is spirtual warfare and you must learn to wield the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God. Ephesians 6.

Pray for the gift of repentance. 2Ti 2:25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
2Ti 2:26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

And then finally I just cry like a baby in my Abba daddy's lap, because without deliverance, I know I am hopelessly in bondage, and the only one who can deliver me is Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Because I have learned that the Lord is very pitiful and merciful to those who can't do anything else but cry.

Psa 18:6 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.

Psa 57:2 I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me.

Psa 55:16 As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me.
Psa 55:17 Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.

Psa 107:19 Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he saveth them out of their distresses.
Psa 107:20 He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.


David, the author of many of these Psalms, was a man that God said was after His own heart--yet, remember that it was David looking at Bathsheba, out of his window, bathing without clothes, that led to one of his very hardest of trials. 2 Samuel 11-12.

Now, what I am about to say, some here might disagree with. But I speak this as one who made a lot of wrong choices, and seeing those who made the right choices, and then seeing that The Word actually backs this up, plus being middle aged:

1Co 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
1Co 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn,(with lust.) (My comment and the comment of many commentators.)

You need to find a wife. Now, I know in this modern world, everyone says that 18 is too young to be married. But guess what? The only people that I know that are still married 34 years later (and now you know my age ) are those who married young. The only people I know who are divorced, waited to get married, myself included.

Yes, Paul says above it is better to be unmarried, (and that because an unmarried can serve the Lord with singleness of heart.) But he says, if they cannot contain, let them marry. So, I would say, examine the call on your life with the Lord in prayer, and if you don't have a specific ministry call that requires you to remain single--find a Godly wife.

Matt, I am praying for you. I absolutely know how difficult this struggle can be, but if you are born-again, filled with the power of the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ, covered in the blood of the lamb of God, all ordained by the Father--who loves you Soooo much!, you just cannot lose. You will not lose. You will be victorious. Lord, Jesus, I come before your throne of grace boldly in our time of need. I ask that you would break the bondages of lust off Matt in the name of Jesus. I ask that you would stop every scheme, plan, and wile of the enemy to harm Matt in anyway. Lord, I ask that if it is your will for Matt to find a Godly wife, that you would provide him a wonderful help-meet. Lord, nothing is too difficult for you--and we thank you for the victory.

In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, our soon coming King, Deliverer, Fortress, Rock, Shield and Mighty God. We worship you Lord for your goodness and mercy on Matt. Amen

[momof3]

amen!

[Mackenaw]

Amen!