Christianity Oasis Forum

[Tanya1968]

Where to begin. I am the most insecure person I know. I know it has to do with my childhood and never dealing with the roots so to speak of my pain. I have tried counseling several times over my lifetime only to quit when it gets too unbearable.

I have OCD with cleaning, I am a perfectionist, and I am addicted to men giving me compliments and attention. The biggest issue right now taking over my life is that I am in a committed relationship with a great guy who I know God put in my life, but I am trying to somehow sabotage this relationship because it is not as volatile as my 20-year marriage to an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive husband was. I do this by going on dating websites and leading men on by giving them my number and flirting and sending pictures of myself to them. I am going to get caught and the great guy in my life is going to leave me, but I cant help it.

I leave and delete the dating websites then I get back on when I feel BORED! I know GOD is the only one who can help me, but I don't always feel like praying and doing the right thing.

Someone please give me advice!

[Tanya1968]

It is 12:23 am. I already feel good. I read the first day of the free counseling program. I deleted my profile from the dating website I was on and all of the numbers in my cell phone.

This is a daily struggle for me.

This is progress. God help me not to rejoin tommorow.

[dema]

You can help it - with God helping you. But the issue isn't "Stopping" the issue is doing something else. Also, you might read Men are from Mars with your great guy. Women need things that men don't typically give. In the courtship stage you get some of those things. And that is why you probably want to just lead them on. Once you get past courtship, men tend to show their martian citizenship.

Do you have a girlfriend or a women's activity? It would be great if you could find one. Something structured like a women's Bible study or a class in something else mainly for women so that you can talk, but you aren't obligated to talk.

Being on this website is terrific. It would be great if you could develop friendships here.

People try to stop when what they need to do is CHANGE. Replace the bad activity with something healthy. Or even neutral. Read a romance novel. Or find another hobby.

And of course, give it to God. Let God have it. As long as you hold onto it inside of you, you won't give it up. If you are truly willing to give it up - and give it to God and find something to replace it - it will go away.

[Tanya1968]

Thanks Dema,
I agree. I started by spending more time with God today. There is a women's bible study on Thursday's at 9 am I am going to look into.

I do hope to meet new friends here.
Tanya

[Tanya1968]

Day 3 of Journal:

I did not do so good yesterday. I got a text from a young guy who hasn't talked to me in months who wanted to hook up today. I flirted by text for most of the day and then I told him no I can't meet tomorrow which was good. But I still flirted so I still messed up even though I did not follow through.

This is a daily struggle for me.

Tanya

[Tanya1968]

Day 4 of Journal:

I had a great weekend. It was my birthday. My bf took me out to dinner and a movie and bought me the purse I really wanted. He is so good to me. I am so blessed.

I got a message from someone from the website wanting to get together tommorow I deleted it.

This is a daily struggle for me. Thank you God for helping me through it.

Tanya

[EllaMay]

Tanya,

Your loving Father in heaven has made you wonderful! I am so so sorry to hear that a man has treated you so unwell in your prior marriage. You are a great woman of God!
God has made us all gentle, loving, insightful, and overall beautiful! And do you know who finds you the most beautiful? Jesus does! He weeps more for your hurt and He delights in everything that you do for Him!
It is a daily struggle, but I would read this short little study about hidden weeds. http://www.christianityoasis.com/keywor ... dWeeds.htm

Song of Songs 4:1 Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead.

Be careful with your struggle. The devil will take you farther than you want to go, longer than you think you would, and hurt you more than you could imagine.

Stay strong! The battle has already been won! I encourage you to read Romans 7:21-25 and Romans 8:1-4 when you get a chance.

Keep strong and if you are looking for a compliment you could read Song of Songs because that's the Lords beautiful love poem to you! And it is filled with compliments!

Blessings,
Ella