Christianity Oasis Forum

[lilybeany]

I want out of false gay partnership.

[mlg]

Hi lilbeany,

I think it's not really up to you to tell her that being gay is a sin but to show her and you what God says about homosexuality. There are a few areas of scripture in the Bible where God speaks of these acts, and I will post them here, for you to reference for yourself and your friend. One more thing to remember also is that our Lord is a loving God and He is merciful and freely offers His grace to anyone who comes to Him and accepts Him as their Savior...No sin is too big for the blood of Jesus...but one must accept Him....as being good is not enough to get you through the door of Heaven...it takes belief in Jesus.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Here are the scriptures related to gay actions being a sinful act in God's eyes:

Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

Romans 1:24-28 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

Jude 1:7 7 Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

I hope that this will help you with your Spiritual struggle.

Praying for you.

Take care

[JulieAnn]

Dear lilybean, Since you are being honest, asking for advice and you seem to, somewhat, recognize the relationship is wrong, I will be straightforward with you.
Whether you want to admit it or not, or whether you feel you are only 'acting' like it, you ARE in a gay relationship. I'm sure I don't need to preach to you what the bible says about homosexuality. Although you may not want to hear this, it appears as if you are both 'using' one another to get selfish and percieved needs met - be it sexually, financially, or to simply avoid being alone. This relationship is manipulative, controlling, unhealthy as well as unbiblical. My advice to you would be to break if off completely, and focus on coming back to God and getting yourself healthy and healed in Him. Do not worry or fret over her. She is not your responsibility at all. You do not owe her anything but to repent to her and break it off immediately. Praying, JulieAnn

[lilybeany]

JulieAnn bless you for your honest an quick reply, your words hit the nail on the head, the answer is what I know in my core heart, we are both needy people in many areas, however I am the stronger one of us, but when I broke of before she eneded up ill an I felt to blame.I havent acted sexually with her for ages, however this is not the answer I know. I am able to be just her friend, an am finding this ok to manage, but she as always thinks I may change my mind. I have much praying to do for us both. I have been up days an nights studying the word, I can see that I am not trust God enough an am to in the world.I do look to her for a motherly love I feel, I am aware of this.I need to look to Our Father now.I dont get lonely as such as I am very quiet person an very introverted an thrive on my own company.My trouble is I feel quilty for leading her on as I feel I do by not eneding it totally.I have much to think on an much to learn.I do feel I need to spend much time here an in the word.Could I influenec her from my ways an what the Lord is teaching me, ..I feel I could. Could we overcome these mistakes an remain friends only..I feel I could..should I atleaat allow her the option of this?..this has been a painful lesson..much I have learnt alot..I just pray my friend can be happy too oneday. I must overcome my feeling responsible for her every move an not take any threats as my responsiblity.I must also not let her tell me this is a bipolar fad,as before, as I am very well at present,an very clear minded.I must as you say show her they way,act the way,act the word,an set an example.Thankyou so much my dear .

[Raven77]

This is rather late repsonce I just saw this post.
(I am responding to this based on what you have said, and that is you dont wish to be with her.)

I am sooo very sorry for the immense inner turmiol this has caused you. It is extremly painful.
Specially when it is with someone who is your only friend in life.. It hurts.

One thing you must please understand. Is that she is manipulating you, rather its purposeful or by accident is completely irrelevant. You are not responsible for her emotional well being. And you cannot take that responsibilty upon yourself.
When you brake if off, and she has a meltdown by running to her rescue you are also saying (indirectly )that you will reconsider your choice.
You mentioned you are both very needy people, it sounds like you both have had a troubleing past.
This combination causes someone to form a very co dependant relationship. Have you ever researched soul ties? I suggest you look into it. Please consider praying about anyhting within your heart that needs healing, somtimes we dont even know we are hurting, and we can cling to people that help us hurt less, but in the end they dont really help us heal. If that makes since.

The issue here is she wants to be with you and she is ok with that concept
You dont not want to be with her nor are you ok with the idea.
Because of this. It is going to be IMPOSSIBLE for her not to continue wanting to be with you.
And by being in her life in this way you are kind of letting her think that there is a chance that at any minute you could change her mind and take her back. Which will make it very difficult for her to move on.
In the end both of you are being hurt.
Any moment of vunerbility on your part will lead you right back down that road again. One minute your talking and sharing, and the next....
This is what happens.
I see that you are wanting to take this journey of coming out of this "togather" with her.
Unfortunitly it just doesnt work that way. You cannot make her be differnt.
The only thing you can do is get closer to the Lord, reach out to him, and be a example to her... And maybe in the future she may begin to ask questions on how you were able to do that.

But at this moment by staying in her life in this type of way, she is influencing you, more than you are here.
You will have to spend some time apart for that to change, so you can re gain your sense of self and figure out where you are at in all of this.
You are going to have to make up your mind, if you truly dont want to to be in a relationship with her, than you will have to cut ties.(not nessiarly for ever).
It will be incredibly painful, it may feel as though some one died. You may grieve, and cry and hurt. Its very difficult.

I am truly sorry for the hurt, confussion, and pain you must be exsperiencing.
Do you have any type of support system? A church? Or you making new friends, new contacts?
This is a very hard road to walk down, it helps to have people.

Please feel free to Pm me anytime.