Christianity Oasis Forum

[Shan]

Hello brother's and sister's,

My family is in need of prayer. I will try to explain the situation as clearly as possible but I'm a little emotional. If you have questions please ask. I need some prayers warriors!

I have a 12 almost 13 year old son. A 9 year old daughter. My husband is their step-dad. They see their father three days a week and I have them the other four, we have split custody. My relationship with their dad is civil, we get along for the most part although at times we haven't. Him and his wife are not christians so it can be difficult to say the least.

The problem: My son has been a very strong willed boy since I can remember. My daughter is a submissive person for the most part and is eager to please. My son has been crossing the boundary of being physical towards me for a few years now. He has never hit me in my face but he charges into or pushes me when he gets angry and he only does this to me when my husband isn't around, which is alot because of his job. He will hit his sister when he gets angry with her also. I've been holding him accountable for his bahavior in a positive way for the last eight months. For the most part I don't yell at him or even deal with him when I'm angry. I wait till I'm calm and then give the consequence for his behavior. I have told him when things are calm that he continues to do this I will have to involve the law because you aren't respecting my authority, so maybe he will respect theirs. Well in the last month he has charged into and pushed me two or three times. He's threatened to run away. The last time he pushed me afterwards he grabbed a knife and held it to his throat. This is tearing me apart but his father's brother is an officer so we have set up to try and get an officer to come here to talk to him about his choice he's making and how it's not only wrong to hurt women but it's against the law, not sure if this is the right thing to do but my husband thinks it is and I trust him so I'm going along. I'm praying diligently for God to show the way through this. A part of me wants to send him to his dad's for a while because I think he needs a man to raise him because he is not respecting my authority in so many ways and I really want what's best for him as an adult and maybe it takes a man to raise a boy into a man. He doesn't disrespect his dad. They don't have many issues with him at their house it's only at mine and a little bit at school (attitude & lack of respect) although he's an AB student. As I said tho they aren't christians and I'm scared to let him go and whether it's God's will. I'm waiting but not so patiently for God to answer. My heart is so torn right now I don't know what to do except pray.

Shan

[Mackenaw]

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on behalf of your son. May God's blessed will be made known and done.

Shan, I'm here if you ever want to talk -- just send me a PM or post in the Parenting Forum where I and others can share in the way of hope, experience and perhaps offer divine wisdom by the leading of The Holy Spirit.

Remember, you are never alone, The Lord is right there and He loves your son and He loves you and your entire family.

God bless and keep you, Shan.
Love,
Sister Mack

[dema]

It sounds like your son has something bothering him. I think having a police officer have a friendly talk with him is good. But there is something beyond that bothering your son. Why is he testing the limits? Is he seeing things he shouldn't see in other relationships? It would be good if somebody could talk to him about the reason that he is angry. Why is he threatening self-harm? These are serious symptoms. It can be very difficult to get a preteen/early teen boy to talk about what is bothering him - but some detective work on your part is called for here.

And yes, I will pray.

[redbandit]

I will definitely be praying for you and your family. I agree with Dema, if he is threatening to hurt himself something serious must be going on with him. I pray that God will give you strength and wisdom.

[Shan]

Thank you everyone for your prayers. We had a good talk today. While there is no excuse for his behavior I do know he's having some problems in life. He is a very "popular" kid, talented athlete and good grades and the way we are raising our kids isn't the norm, "it's not cool to be christian", not to mention half the time he lives in a non-christian home although they do have good morals in some ways for the kids and for that I'm thankful. He's very angry at my husband and I for not allowing him to play a video game that is very violent. He said it's cool to be disrespectful to your teachers and parents. So, I'm seeing a lot of things are going on in his life that we just don't see and he's fighting against us and our christianity in some ways while in other ways he doesn't.

Please keep us in your prayers. Thank you and God bless you all.