The saddest thing

[vahn]

So , ok . This guy , at first , wasn't so sure if his "issues" were soluble at all ( you know , the "I'm so far gone" type) . "HOPELESS" !!! (Can I ever relate to that or what) . Not by ANY pre-"plan" from either side of us , we find ourselves talking to each other over a cup of coffee . Him saying I'm hopeless , and me responding with the "I was too" , little that I knew , that the next two and a half years , this guy would not even go to the bathroom without "checking" it with me first (asked if I would be willing to sponsor him) .

Little over 4 years ago , I had to leave the state . At first , the phone contacts were on a daily basis , and after I suggested he finds another sponsor (I hooked him up with one of my other sponsees to take over before I left) , says Forget you ! (the only correct spelling is the F) , and never hear from him again , except for texts wishing Happy Holidays and such . FFWD . things happen , and I end up back at "home state" , go to my regular meeting , and there he is ... "Doing Great" right ? another cup of coffee , and says "After what you taught me , I never felt the 'need' to get another sponsor" . HAH !! Okkaaayyy !?! , "Are you sponsoring anyone? " ..... "NO" . Upon departure from coffee shop , he asks "Do you still have the same number ?" ... Nope ! ... "what's your new number ? " ... "ONE!" .

About two or three weeks ago , I call another AA buddy (planning on going on vacation there) , gives me the news that "Al" (anonimity) had gone off the wagon and that he was admitted to P6 for attempted suicide .

I can handle it , right ? SURE ! .... Ok , then why is it that , three weeks later , I'm bringin it up in "Real Solutions"-chat yesterday , and still typing about it today ? .

The closest I can come up with as a possibility is that , "Al"'s situation was the exact carbon copy of mine ! One slight difference . I'm here typing this after 13 years of sobriety , and "Al" is NOWHERE to be found .

Makes one discouraged to even consider helping another , lest the pain be more unbearable than this .

Yes , I have dealt with many "Al"s , but why this one is lingering on ? .... By the way , Al's last name is Coholic .



In Christ , our Lord

[realtmg]

Good read Vahn!

GBU

Real

[Mackenaw]

Hello Vahn (((hug)))

When we love, we will also experience times of great sorrow and mourning for others -- our soul weeps for them.

Job 30:25 Did not I weep for him that was in trouble? was not my soul grieved for the poor?

Jesus said, Matthew 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

God will comfort you. Your mourning spirit is communicating to The Holy Spirit, and He...

Romans 8:26-27 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. (27) And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

You can be sure that God The Father, God The Son and God The Holy Spirit have both you and Al on Their radar. God loves you both.

II Corinthians 1:3-5
(3) Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort.
(4) Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
(5) For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus, on your behalf. May God's blessed will be done.

God bless you, Vahn.
Love,
Mack

[dema]

We plant and water, God gives the increase.

You did your part. You were/are a good and faithful servant. But the battle is God's.

Our sermons at church have been very healing lately, to me. One was about when China closed down to Christianity. The broke the windows in the churches and kicked all the missionaries out. And the churches wailed and moaned for years about all the wasted time and money. But when China let missionaries back in, the numbers had jumped from 500,000, to somewhere over 14 million. The actual number might have been as large as 100 million.

The missionaries thought their work had been lost - but it isn't us. Faith is in God. God is the miracle worker. God takes your seed and does with it according to his will.

Some seed falls on bad ground - but God's work does not return void. It does something - you just don't know what. At least not yet.

Maybe you keep thinking about this man because you need to keep praying for him. And maybe there is fruit that you know not of from your persistence with this man. Certainly, you cannot have shepherded him that closely for that long without being a witness to others.

God bless.

[vahn]

I had learnt , from past experiences , that , when something crosses my mind , or an "event" , sight , or even smell crosses my path for more than three times , to give it some consideration (nothing happens in God's World by mistake) , some thing is On ! . That kind of thought habit came from , of rather , reading , about Peter's "aggravation" with the Lord's asking him for the third time , if He loved Him . See , our Lord's reason for asking was to give Peter some instructions , (feed , tend ....) , whereas Peter was taking it all as an implication of a personality defect (not that he was self-centered or anything )

It was out that habit , that I said to myself , "Ok , you need to talk about this .... to someone(s) OTHER than yourself " . Hence the bringin it all up in chat , and subsequently , here . And I thank you ALL , both in chat and especially here for being a part of the conclusion you helped me draw . You actually helped me and were instrumental in helping me narrow this thing down .

Before I read each reply , I have come to form a habit of re-reading what I wrote first then come back to read the reply posted , making sure I re-read mine before each reply ... three replies , three re-reads . Well , here , after the third re-read , the bulb came on ! ... V8 moment !

I noticed , that what I wrote , or the way I expressed my thoughts and feelings , is the same exact way as I would talk to my sponsor about ! ..... My aggravation about Al , not having an active sponsor ..... not actively sponsoring anyone himself ... The reason for my aggravation(s) ? , Al is heading for disaster !

A little over three years ago , I lost my sponsor . Haven't gotten another SINCE . But , thanks to you ALL , for being available to me when needed MOST .


In Christ , our Lord