Christianity Oasis Forum

[JohnR]

I have a buddy who I've been friends with for a couple of years. I have helped him do work around his house, worked on his truck, hung out together, listened to music, watch movies/TV, played video games, but most important "smoked" together. I haven't done that since starting this program & don't have a desire to do so anymore. I have told him I'm involved with this program, that I'm no longer interested in doing that, & to respect my wishes. He has also helped me with rides (I don't have a driver’s license), money, & he is one of the few (ONLY) friends I have down here (I'm originally from NJ & moved to Texas in 2003). Before starting the program here I was attending Celebrate Recovery meetings & sometimes he would go with me. I was out of work when I started & thru the program I was able to find a job. Unfortunately it was a night job & I was unable to attend anymore. Well it wasn't long before I stopped reading the Bible, praying, & then I fell back into bad habits . It has taken me awhile before I found this site & started back onto the road of recovery. My problem is that he also doesn't have many friends & stays in constant contact with me. But unlike me he is NOT very receptive to the idea of having a relationship with our Lord. If anything I would say he's very antagonistic towards the idea. He's also a very angry person & doesn't handle life's little curve balls very well. I'm very conflicted about this because on the one hand I could be a positive influence on him but of course the flip side is he could drag me down. You should also know that he DID respect my wishes & never offered or "smoked" in front of me when I originally got involved with Celebrate Recovery. It was my decision to start up again BUT I was with him when I did.
WHAT SHOULD I DO???

[HelloMyNameIsSimon]

Hi John,
It is wonderful that you've taken this step - wonderful for you, wonderful for those around you and - most importantly - wonderful for God. I think you will be a positive influence on him but that may take quite some time. But, yep, as you say, there is also a risk that you could get dragged down... but instead of distancing yourself from him I would seek support from other Christians - including those who have already travelled the same journey that you have started on. It's amazing just how much support and strength you can get from other Christians. So, if you do ever feel yourself under pressure from negative reactions from your friend, you need to seek that support to 'offload' and to build yourself up. As you become stronger and more focused in your walk with God, your friend will see the great effect it has on you. It's best not to get too preachy with him, it may be better to drip-feed him slowly with the message as it's all a bit alien to him. But give him time! I''ll be praying for you both!
May God bless you,

Simon

[dema]

Great advice. Perhaps you could get in contact with people from the group you were in before, or attend the sponsoring church or a church that some of the other members attended. It is hard to grow without some sort of positive peer support as you know.

[realtmg]

HI,
There are several of us here recovering or want to.
God forgives as we repent to Him. Then we can start anew by his Grace.
keep hanging around Bro.

GBU

Real

PS
WE hold a meeting for this on Thursday nights @ 8 PM Central in the chat room.

[David]

John,
What comes to mind is something my pastor has said... the only Bible some will ever read is you. So, advice? Stick to this program, plug into the word and have many christian friends surround you. Keep in the word. Remember that He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. When you are tempted, run away from it. Tell him you enjoy the company, you are his friend, you don't need the 'smoke'. Just wait for the opportunity that when he has a problem, a curve ball, and approaches you with it, pray for God's guidance- if He is silent, that means shut yer mouth- easy, tell Him you don't know, will answer it for him tomorrow. Go home, pray and read the word and God will give an answer. Sometimes it will be the advice of a friend you call... Then you can tell him 'your' opinion. He is the one that will decide to accept or reject sound counsel. After a while (PATIENCE!) he will wonder why you have been a good counselor, you tell him you learned from the Bible-
That's my $.02
Dave

[JohnR]

Hi all. Just wanted to let everybody know that I answered my own question. I knew it was a mistake to go with him but I did it anyway out of a feeling of obligation. I got up early & spent the day helping him to transport a kart he owns so he could get it running. Point being I basically wasted the day doing something I didn’t want to do with someone I didn’t want to be with! To make matters worse he didn’t even respect my wishes, “smoked” in front of me, & then to top it all off went to pick up some more & was even going to shove some in my face to smell it & I told him NO! You know deep down in my heart I’ve never liked the people that “party” but now that I’ve seen them through God’s eyes I have to say that I truly can’t stand them!!! They are all a bunch of idiots, my friend included. No offense to anyone who still imbibes or does it for medical reasons BUT you’re better off not having those kinds of people in your life. Besides being one of the angriest people I have ever met in my life (& I thought I was bad, ) he is a self-centered, selfish, person. I’m going to do everything in my power to stay away from him & ask God to help me make some REAL friends. My only problem is that I hope he doesn’t do anything to make trouble for me when he realizes I don’t want to have anything to do with him anymore. All my life I have always felt that it should be up to the individual as to what they put into their body & that the government had no right to tell us what to do. After today I’m not only glad drugs are illegal but from now on I’m going to be the 1st one to speak up against them!!!
God bless & thank you!
You are my TRUE friends!!!

[Mackenaw]

Hello JohnR

God bless you this day.

When we start following The Lord, there comes a time we start to understand that He separates us out, and we experience it -- we begin to see like never before, and we begin to hear like never before. And, because we are still so vulnerable to the flesh and the sin that pervades, it is not unusual for God to have us stay away from certain influences until we become stronger in Him. However, He does not want us to hate them, or to look down our noses at them, even though we have now been given the spiritual eyesight to recognize sin. God loves ALL. God is Judge. We have been and are blessed, by unmerited favor...forgiveness, which is offered to ALL, and because we now walk in that grace and have the indwelling of The Holy Spirit we are experiencing things that others cannot experience, but we experience them because of His Love working in us.

We, however, because we still have such carnal thinking can, if we're not careful, become arrogant. Tsk Tsk.

Luke 18:9-14
New International Version (NIV)

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (a message from Jesus)

9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’

13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

And here is another passage of scripture pertaining to this topic -- a message from the Apostle Paul concerning those that had started looking down their noses at others, a bit:

1 Corinthians 4:6-8
New International Version (NIV)

6 Now, brothers and sisters, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, “Do not go beyond what is written.” Then you will not be puffed up in being a follower of one of us over against the other. 7 For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?

8 Already you have all you want! Already you have become rich! You have begun to reign—and that without us! How I wish that you really had begun to reign so that we also might reign with you!

Again, it is true, that The Lord will have us stay clear of some, until we are stronger in our faith walk with Him and then can be used of Him to bring others unto Him; however, He does not want us to hate them -- hate the sin, but not the sinner.

Continue your walk with Christ -- in His love. The Lord has begun a good work in you, and He will compete that good work. God is Good \o/ \o/ \o/ Thank You Jesus!

Pray for your friend, because Jesus loves your friend. Jesus loves you too.

God bless and keep you, JohnR.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[Mackenaw]

Hello JohnR

It's me again.

I forgot to give you a link to a wonderful Study on this site. It is called "Family Ties That Bind", and I believe the message within the study will ring true with you in regards to the situation with your friend. http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keywor ... eStudy.htm

Prayers continue to rise to our Lord in the name of Jesus, on your behalf.

God bless and keep you, JohnR.
Love,
Sister Mack