Christianity Oasis Forum

[sharonleeu]

Hi Fellow brothers and sisters ! I have an issue with my best friend and need advice. We have been friends for nearly 10years and when I met her I was not a christian. So what we had in common that made us soo close as friends were things like going out clubbing, drinking and basically just partying. Now that I am a christian and do not have those same interests and she still does. I have told her about my salvation and trying to explain to her but she does not believe or want to repent. I also feel she is self consumed so the friendship is mostly me pleasing her.

Should I confront her of the feelings I have of our friendship ? Or dont start conflict and just love her and distance myself from her ? Also, she has a boyfriend who is mentally abusing her and does not beleive in God...this makes it hard for me to be around her with the boyfriend....


God bless you !

[Dora]

Sharonleeu I can't say I have an overwhelming supply of advice because I'm just bumbling through this life of my own and praying I do the right thing at the right time. Sometimes it's so hard to tell.

My thoughts that came to my mind were how this relationship is centered around her. Knowing that is all it is and possibly all it will be for a while will help you to accept the emptiness you feel and the draining. People who only take can drain us quickly. Recognize when she is draining and ask yourself if you have enough to allow her to take from you emotionally. If you are having a low day perhaps avoiding long talks with her that day would be a good idea. Sometimes just saying something like I'm sorry I can't talk right now but I want to talk to you soon because I care about you. Other times you may have more to give and can be there for her.

Does she realize her boyfriend is abusive? sometimes people are so use to it or so afraid of admitting to it that they don't see it or deny it. It's very difficult to admit the one you love is abusive. Often the abused takes the blame. And or the one who is abusive turns around for a while and is Mr./Mrs. Perfect showing the ones they've abused with so much love it's hard to confront it.

My advice is to keep praying and keep in contact but you don't have to be walked on (not saying you are or where) nor do you have to be constantly tempted to fall back into the old life style (not saying you are or will be). I know prayer changes things. I know many in her shoes have been reached through prayer. As well as others like her boyfriend.

A friendship gives back and forth. Not just one way. She could continue to be a friend or acquaintance but a true friend will give and not just take. It's hard to find a friend like that.

[sharonleeu]

Thank you so much Pine for your advice. She is a very caring and loving person and this is why I do stay in the friendship. She knows he is mentally abusive but tolerates it because she loves him. I can only pray that she will repent of her sins and be saved. Please pray for her too if you can, her name is Cindy.

Love and God bless you !

Sharon

[1st Timothy 4:12]

Sharon, you can only pray and do what GOD leads you to do. If God tells you that you need to exlain to her, turn off your brain and turn on your heart. The Holy Spirit speaks using our heart. And that is all you can do, the rest is up to her.

[sharonleeu]

Thank you Timothy. I am growing in my faith and a newbie christian so hearing the holy spirit is sometimes challenging. But i will seek God in the word so I can clearly hear his voice.

Thank you and god bless you!

[1st Timothy 4:12]

Send me a PM if you would like some more help about the Holy Spirit.

[Ruthk34]

Frienships can be tough. Growing up I had a handfull of friends but later realised how those friendships were mostly one sided. I would give and they would take but when I was young it didn't really bother me because I'm a giving type of person. Only as I grew older and could have used some support myself did I realise how one sided my friendships were. After high school I havn't kept in touch with any of them and only spoke to them if we ran into each other at a store.
Sadly I have put up a wall not letting people get to know me too well because of it. It gets a bit lonely sometimes when I could use a friendly ear. The one person I can call friend who is there always is my husband, we share everything no secrets between us happily.
I agree with Pine keep on praying.