anger!

[mercedes12]

im a very very sweet and caring person. i ALWAYS see a persons view from their side rather then mines. I love helping people because it makes me feel good, but it comes to a point that im helping everyone and no one is helping me. I actually dont mind no one helping me because i dont like discussing my personal issues with no one. I give with out expecting.Sometimes i let things go and im so nice but when someone crosses the line i get SOOOO ANGRY that it comes to the point that i cant control my self. Its very scary ill try to break and throw things hit a person physically and try to destroy them at times emotionally. I HATEEEEE when i get to that point because i know thats not the person iam but when i get to that point theres no stoping myself. Its like a volcano erupting and when everyting is over i second guess myself because i dont like that image of me. People take advantage of me and i dont think its fair.Im the person who is ALWAYS smiling...i cry when no one is around because i dont like anyone pitting me. People always come to me for advice but i have no one to talk to but god.I usually write and i feel better but i feel comfortable here so thats why im discussing this issue. I live in a very dysfunctional family and its very hard for me to stay positive because once i step in my house everything just turns negative. i pray to god but sometimesi feel like im talking to myself and his not listening. I dont know what to do

[Dora]

When things are not dealt with and left to fester inside of us they can come out with such explosion and harm people we never ever want to harm. That is one reason it is so important to deal with the things that you are trying to shove down. I suspect there are things you've shoved so deep down that you are not even aware they are harming you. You've become aware that there is a problem. You see the signs that something is controlling you. It's time to start dealing with those ugly painful things. Start pulling them out and putting them on the table where they will be exposed to the light.

After an explosion you probably are carrying some guilt which gets between you and God. Thus the feeling your prayers seem to hit the floor.

Are you doing the CCCC study? If not I highly suggest you begin there. If you have already then perhaps going through it again would help you pick up on some things you weren't ready to deal with the first time through.

God does love you and His grace is sufficient.

[mfwilliams2000]

Hi,

I also have an anger problem. To me I always feel like I have dealt with a situation and I believe I have forgiven and let go BUT............ then unexpectedly, someone says something etc... and I explode. Seems like I wake up in the middle of the outburst. At those moments I feel like I am looking on at myself or something.

I grew up in a very dysfunctional family where I was not parented instead I was like a mother to my mother and a protector against my explosive father. I was verbally, emotionally abused by them and also molested by my god-brother. No one was there for me and now today I have control issues and can never lighten up and let anyone take care of me, including God. Now I'm married, I really pray that my husband will continue walking with the Lord because the way I behave sometimes, don't know how else he would continue dealing with me.

II've been to counselling in the past but I do not know how to stop reverting to having a victim attitude and how to look at life positively and start seeing the "glass as half full" and not "half empty".......