Christianity Oasis Forum

[momof3]

and....Prayers are rising for you your friend Paul, Cuc. May God's perfect will be done in His life.

In Jesus,
luv momo

[Lani]

CUC!!!

Just wanted to remind ya that your pain in the ... bum sis is still here... travelin path with ya

Prayers remain always Miss ya typin!

Luv ya Bro!

Peace n Luv in Christ
Lani

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Hi everyone, it's been too long as usual but on a better note "better late"r" than never
Thank you for the replies Mack, Momo, and that pain in the bum sister Lani NOT REALLY I love all 3 of you and appreciate all the input here.
I have something to say openly here because I feel I may have been hiding it more than I realized and I will not allow satan the satisfaction of winning any more than he is.
I come here and do as I think I should and want to do, but in truth I am still a VERY broken man that is seeking the right ways to lead the rest of my life, I have lived my entire life as a bad man doing any and all things bad BUT i have came to God in the last several years and asked that He take this life from me and you know what? for the most part He has blessed me by taking most all of that life away and showing me how to live my life the right way BUT here is the clincher
I have certain things in my life that I STILL struggle with BUT please know it does NOT change who I want to be and I know some one will probably say you can do all things through Him and they are right THAT is how I became the better man I am today BUT until you are hooked on something and know what it is like to not be able to break the habit you cannot judge
I have felt addiction first hand in cigarettes drugs and alcohol ALL OF WHICH I gave up through God and have had NO absolutely NONE cravings or wants for ANY of it back so yes I do know BUT I have 2 other things that I still battle and now adding depression to the mix.....oh joy!! NOT!!!
so for those of you that don't know I still battle language, I have cuused like a sailor ALL my life and now want nothing more than to one day wake up and not know any cuss words BUT that ain't happening so I pray everyday He will show me ways to stop and I have improved just not as well as I would like.
Next and this is the one that has cost me dearly but it also is the hardest now more than before due to loneliness and the depression BUT I have also improved in this JUST NOT LIKE I WANT..............Porn and some say THAT"S NOT AN ADDICTION!! I have news for you it is an epidemic of an addiction it is swallowing our world all around us and we DON'T even see it!! it started years ago and has progressively gotten so out of control that now I don't think it could be stopped even if we tried, do you have young sons.......ever seen them looking at the sales ad's.........they finally did stop putting the girls and ladies in PANTIES but they still do the bra's....you think your son's aren't looking at that!! billboards, store fronts, tv ad's, sex sells!! and it is corrupting our kids like crazy, you think porn is out of control now just wait a few years
You would not believe the stats on teen pregnancy or teen std's because the world is telling them it's ok
A lot of teens today don't consider oral sex to be sex......REALLY what part don't you understand about that name!!
I'm sorry for getting on the soap box but it just burns me up that satan has snuck this one RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES!!
and then they fight to free them selves or worse hide it like I did, I'M NOT HIDING IT ANYMORE!!!
For those who wish to judge me or anyone else for this....I will pray for you as well as my self and the others that have been sucked into this evil tool of satan's, you know I just got a picture in my head.....every time someone does these things or when someone else judges those satan's standing there with a big grin....BUT right now as I write this and when you are reading it going hmmmmm he's got a point, satan is face down on the floor kicking and sceaming NO!! NO!!! NO!!!
I'm REALLY like the last picture!!
I'm sorry again for the soap box thing BUT I'm NOT sorry for being blunt and openly honest!
I pray I do not loose any of you as friends and you will always be my brothers and sisters, I love you all no matter WHAT you did or how you acted in the past....why....because that's what I want to do and that is what God EXPECTS me to do!
I hope I don't get in trouble for this but I felt led to do it so I did!!
God bless each and every one of you and I pray that our Lord releases each and every one of us from ANY of satans tools of destruction weather it's alcohol, drugs, food, porn or any of his other filthy tricks he has snuck in on us and made us weak
CUC

[mlg]

And when you bring it all to light...the enemy can't lurk in the darkness of sin...and make comments to drag you down...

I think we all have sins we struggle with....things that are our "thorns" so to speak...things that we would like to be rid of...but plague us continually...Satan knows our weaknesses...and he will use every opportunity he can to exploit that weakness into a sinful reaction from us.

I will be praying for you...just remember that our God is a forgiving God and He loves you...if you fall...repent...get back up and get back to it...He knows you are trying...and He also knows how the temptation of the enemy will break us down....that's why He gave us Jesus.

luv ya

[momof3]

Love ya, Cuc

mlg's right. We all have things and addictions of some sort that we struggle with. Judge you?? No way! God bless you, brother. Im praying for you.

In Jesus,
luv momo

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Thank you both for your replies, it is sisters like you that make me want to stand in satan's face and say THAT'S IT you don't own me anymore!!!
God bless, with much love and respect
Cuc

[Dora]

...in truth I am still a VERY broken man that is seeking the right ways to lead the rest of my life...

I know you are.

I think sometimes we are so afraid of who we really are that we hide it so well that we THINK no one knows.

But in truth......some do.

Those are the ones I find comfort in sitting beside and just listening to each other sigh.....

I hear you sigh. I hear your heart ache. And I pause. And I ask, "Lord ...?" He often says something along the lines of, "I got this." He's knit you together. He's not done yet. He's still knitting. Fixing. Working. I think it brings Him joy to have such a valuable project to work on.

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Thank you Pine your words mean a lot
I miss you sis
hope all is well with you and yours

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Well I think I managed to SCREW up yet ANOTHER relationship (friendship)
I just sometimes feel like it just doesn't matter what I do, I would hide things for fear of losing people.....and lose them
I would be 100% honest about everything because I felt that is what I am supposed to do and I don't want to lose them from not being open.....and lose them
I have come to the conclusion I am here only to do as I am supposed to until my time is up and then.....well lets just say I can only pray the good outways the bad.
I know there are a whole lot of people worse off than me and or spend thier entire life alone (I kinda feel like I have at times) but as some of you know I don't do being alone well and when I feel as if I lose or pushed someone away it just reassures my insecurities of me being a good person, I cannot help but wonder which is the real me...the one that seems like I want to help others and be as God wants or the one that cannot crawl up out of my own darkness long enough to amount to anything.
I'm growing very tired, I just don't know anymore what I am supposed to do, I know I will probably cause someone of the friends I have here to say "get over it......pull those big girl.....socks up and move on, I wished I could but I just keep sinking......I just wish it was over and He would judge me and send me where I belong, I just don't care anymore
And please for those who worry, Please don't I will not do anything stupid I just needed to vent my feelings
May God continue to bless you all as only He can, and know I love and appreciate all those who still consider me a friend as well as those who don't

[mlg]

In the words of our friend Christianity Oasis "what others say and think about you does NOT define who you are." These are some of my favorite words that he has shared with me...and I share them now with friends and loved ones who are struggling with what others think of say about them. My dear CUC...remember God loves you no matter what...I'm sorry you are hurting and have a friend that is hurting as well. Sometimes friends come and go in our life....but we can always find stability in knowing that God remains on His throne no matter what. I will pray for you and your friend...may you keep on keeping on...you still have friends that care about you...and I am one of those friends.

luv ya

[vahn]

My dear brother

I hear and feel you brother , but listen to this ... "losing " others for being invisible (100% open) , is no loss at all .
As you said it yourself , if not completely open , we lose them anyway , but , here's the thing ... coming open with truth , only flushes the truth of the other as well , hence ... no loss , in fact , though it puts us in an undesirable mood for a time being , but in the long run we will find out that we actually gained , rather than lost .
Here's my theory behind what I just wrote .
In order for me to decide to bare all to another , I have to first , be "led" to believe that I should . So , there , "leading" someone is the surest form of falsehood , so , in actuality , they told the truth about themselves as well , in another words , they were not open and honest from the get go .

Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord

[momof3]

Cuc,

Your post reminds me so much of Paul when he wrote about not doing the things he wanted to do and doing the things he knows he shouldnt...and wow, arent we all that way? You are being honest, bringing things out into the Light and there are those who are choosing to walk away from you as a result. All I can say is, I dont know their hearts, but, I see yours...and no matter what, luv you, brother in Jesus. You are a blessing to many many people here. Your openness and honesty also reminds me of King David and his struggles....he was still called the apple of God's eye. Dont let this get ya, bro. Attacks are gonna happen. You are a child of the King. You are cherished and loved beyond measure. You are forgiven and being changed daily. Dont give up. He hasnt and wont give up on you. He loves you too much.

Love ya, bro.

in Jesus,
luv momo