Christianity Oasis Forum

by **thywillbedone** » Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:16 pm

I haven't had the best luck when it comes to guys. I tend to always get involved with the ones that seem great at first but turn out to be soooo terrible. Sadly, I've lowered my standards over the years. I've prayed for God to bring me a honestly good man. Finally a couple of months ago I met this guy and he was perfect. No, I'm not saying he was without flaws, but he was perfect for me. We began dating and the more time I spent with him and the more I got to know about him the more I was impressed by his character. He really is a stand up good guy and brought out the good in me.

Unfortunately, this weekend he ended things. I have no idea why, he didn't give me an explanation. He ended things through text message after he left my house the other day. The time together was great, not perfect, we had a minor disagreement, but he still went food shopping for me & cooked for me. I asked him before he left if everything was ok because he seemed withdrawn but he promised we were good, he just wasnt feeling well. But when he left & I called him to let him know he left something here, he didnt pickup. I text him asking if something was the matter..no reply...I text him a hour later about plans we made for this week...a half hour later when he finally got home he text me saying "It's over. Leave me alone." I felt like I got punched in the stomach. It's been 5 days now and he wants nothing to do with me. I can't think of anything that I said or did that led him to be like this. We had taken things down a notch a few weeks back because he felt like our dating wouldn't lead to a relationship but insisted on us remaining friends because he said he cared about me so much and hoped that in time things would change with us (I was being a bit negative & critical and once he brought that to my attention I began working on it) We went along with being friends and ended up going back to dating. So for him to now completely cut me out of his life without any explanation is driving me crazy and hurts like heck! I've asked him if we could go back to being friends, that I value his friendship very much & miss it, but he doesn't reply.

Sorry this turned into a vent *Doh*

My prayer request is that the Lord will give me peace about this (I've been soo upset since things ended, I barely sleep at all and feel horribly anxious) I also pray that the Lord may reveal to me what went wrong with us, I'm the kinda person that needs an answer, not knowing is driving me crazy yall have no idea! Also, if ya'll could pray for the Lord to soften his heart and help restore our friendship. I've been praying for hours everyday for the Lord to hear these prayers but nothing has changed. Then I remembered that verse about when two or three people pray together and figured I'd give it a shot. Miracles are possible right? *help*

Thanks ya'll.

by **Christnundrconstruxn** » Thu Apr 07, 2011 6:47 am

First let me welcome you to Oasis,
you'll find no better place or no better friends, please look into the site there is SO much here including some awesome counseling pages on anything and everything.
As for this guy thing I have a secret........we're all jerks at some point it's our nature. rofl

As for this one guy it sounds to me that possibly (this is JUST MY OPINION as a man) this guy was searching just as you were but realized after you 2 spent time together that it was not what he wanted but he didn't know how to or want to hurt you by calling it quits which is when he just wanted to be friends, and maybe he was wanting [[b]i]more than you wanted to give[i] [/b]sorry but I'm a man and that's how we are wired, if a man does not learn control of this he will endlessly destroy any realationship he ever has because he feels the need to conquer once that has been acomplished he feels somethings missing or more bluntly bored so he continues his "hunt" elsewhere. (even some "Christian" men)
I don't mean to make it sound like this is a sport for men BUT the bad thing....it is for some and that hurts the rest of us that are truly searching for the same thing you ladies want....happiness
PLEASE don't take this wrong and I'm probably going to hear from some of the men on here BUT as I said earlier this is JUST an opinion, guys think way differently than women and vise versa and because of this we will never understand the other totally. *dunno*

it's not always the guy, I was married for 14 years to a woman that in that time we had our ups and downs (who doesn't) but I felt as if part way through our lives together something was missing, I tried everything from showering her with her wants and needs to not giving up EVEN when she did, I would leave all final say so's to her unless it was something I felt very strong about, I did anything she asked I would answer her every beck and call ANYTIME, I tried to do romantic things that most guys would never do or think of.
but with ALL that the one thing I couldn't do was make her fall back into love with me so no matter how hard I tried it just wasn't there, and I still don't have the answer...why. *dunno*

I have to put my faith in God that it was not meant to continue and that He has other plans for BOTH of us, I will ALWAYS wonder why but I will always remind myself....God IS in control *Clap*

I hope you will do just as I plan to and that's get right back out there and look for that ONE God has for me that I can be totally happy with and make totally happy....and yes that IS possible!! *Clap*

May God bless you and I am sorry if I was in ANY way out of line with ANY of this, just trying to give a mans perspective.
Christnundrconstruxn *Wave*

by **Faith_Underfire** » Thu Apr 07, 2011 7:47 am

Dear Lord,

I thank you so much for our Sister here and thank you Lord for the openess we share here. I pray more than anything wisdom over circumstance and just give her peace about this. I thank you Lord that she realizes it bugs her and cares enough to write it out to get some help, but God take her and show her you are still there even in the midst of her circumstance. I know I need this as well as I go through this life and I fall often, But Lord I pray we both will have the strength to get back up. It is not our /own/ strength but it is strength in you.

In Jesus' name
Amen

I hope this encourages you somewhat I am nowhere near perfect. In fact I have so many insecurities I believe my insecurities have insecurities. (Sorry It sounded funny to write) Oh yeah I have a really cheezy sense of humor too, I apologize in advice for any sarcasm or puns. In my opinion Puns are Fun. XD