Christianity Oasis Forum

[em]

So here I am at Step 1 beginning the 14 day step journal. I have regrets, disappointment, yes anger also. I feel I am entitled to a lot because of my past. My father molested me for about 5 years. Told my mother 3 years after it started. My father would take out his anger to us 4 girls by not talking to us. I didn't want my sisters to be treated like this so I stopped telling my mother. I became a martyr. this was 36 years ago. I have forgiven my mom, my father died 17 years ago without me forgiving him. I feel my mother owes me a lot even now though for allowing this to happen. I didn't get the support then as a child, and I married a man who is not supportive. Four children and 25 years later, divorce is around the corner. I left my house and husband. I'm having a very hard time letting go of my children (18,21,23,24). My faith has grown in a great way since the separation, but I need to get a grip on what's deep within me.

[mlg]

Welcome to the steps and the healing process. My prayers are with you through this process. Take it all one day at a time...and know that once you finished...things will begin to take on a new look.



Take care and God Bless

[Dora]

em I'm glad to see you doing the steps.

I sense a lot of unhealthy feelings towards your parents. You know those feelings won't get even with your mom, they'll only cause you more pain. When I struggle with someone hurting me it helps me to remember what Jesus said as He died on the cross, Father forgive them for they don't know what they are doing. She to is a broken vessel in need of understanding.

I've been through a lot with my parents and can share from experience that forgiving them will bring you some of that peace you are seeking. Forgiveness truly is a working of the Lord. I pray you seek this. So you can be free. It doesn't make what they did right. Yet what they did doesn't make carrying resentment right either.

Work on you and allow God to work on them.

I love you sis. I'm glad you shared and got these thoughts and feelings out. I know it's difficult. Please continue the path. Please share.