Christianity Oasis Forum

[fishing_girl]

Well, let me say I am going to need a lot of help with this one....forgiveness. I can forgive the majority of people who have harmed me or hurt me in this lifetime so far except for my deceased husband. He was an abuser. An angry, violent, selfish, belittling person.

How can I forgive someone completely when I still have all the anger left from the abuse....I can't confront him about it....he's gone. It's like I never got the chance to take my own personal power back from him.

I don't know how to get over this, I've been through years of counsoling and I still have this anger towards him, it's been 7 years already... I want to move forward but I can't, I'm stuck, and I can't take it anymore.....the tears are just rolling off of my face right now.

I want to let go but I don't know how...Lord knows I've made plenty of my own mistakes but they have never been intentionally directed towards another person.

I guess this is why I can't let go, I don't understand how he could have treated me with such little disregard and then expect me to love him.

HELP!!!

[Christianity Oasis]

TRUTH?

The plague this soul had within him, (That you despised) which had him so hurtful and angry, is now within YOU towards him (and maybe even others unknowingly).

Much like the common cold is able to infiltrate our body, merely by being in the presence of one who is infected ... Our soul is subject to spiritual plagues such as this when our soul is in the presence of one with a spiritual plague for a prolonged period of time.

Choose to kick it to the curb.

It is only hurting your Christian walk and your joy.

It is like you still allowing him to steal your joy, by harboring this plague.

CHOOSE to FORGIVE.

You would not be forgiving this soul for his sake ...

But, for your own soul's sake ...

And cuz your loving Lord, who died for you, asked it of you.


Ponder on that.


Luv ya

[momof3]

Hi fishing_girl and welcome to Oasis. You are here for a reason and you are not alone. In addition to what CO said above, think about this, as well. Someone, somewhere, in your husband's life..some twisted, hurt soul in need of our savior's healing and forgiveness, hurt your husband...causing him to carry on with what he knew through the pain and sin and need for healing, himself.

As CO said, CHOOSE to forgive. That doesnt mean what he did was right, but it allows God to be God and frees you...and looses the strongholds in your soul that keep you bound in this anger. Let all of this go...through choosing to do so. Christ's love is unconditional because He knows our humaness. His love is unconditional..and He instills that same kind of love within us as we seek to forgive and move forward, letting Him mold and shape us through the experiences we have had. Start praying that the Lord would help you to forgive, and choose to forgive him. You do have a choice. Its not easy...but if you remember that every single human has hurt and been hurt and that we all need Jesus to forgive and heal us, forgiveness comes a little easier.

Praying for you. You are on the right path here. stay the course. Know that you arent here by accident..and you are not alone.

in Jesus,
love momo

[mlg]

Hi fishing, remember forgiving does not mean what they did was right...or that it should ever happen again...what it does is say...I'm not going to let the past hold power over me anymore...I'm breaking free of the bonds of the past and walking in the Light of the new mornings that God creates for me daily. I know it's not easy to forgive...but it is necessary.

Praying that you will allow peace to come to your heart and that you will throw out this grudge of pain you continue to carry...because as long as you carry it...it will "rehurt" you over and over.

Come on you can do this...ask God to help.

luv ya

[Dora]

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

How can you forgive and let go of this anger? Through Him.

If you could walk in this mans shoes you may be surprised the pain and suffering he endured that caused him to choose to be an angry abusive man.

[fishing_girl]

First I would like to say thanks for your insight...one thing in particular will help me...the fact that I can forgive him for my sake and not his.....this I can handle, it will make it easier.

Secondly, I have to say I know the suffering he went through as a child and even as an adult. He was raised in an abusive home. I thought I could help him overcome that, but I was wrong.....it was too much for him to overcome.

Guess I would also like to say that I know I have been carrying this anger and hurt for a long time....everything I said in my earlier post just kind of flew out of my mouth. Makes me sound like a pretty bitter soul, when really I'm not. Just needed some help along the way...thought I was over all of this but after reading the day four counseling step I realized I wasn't.

I will ask Jesus to help me with this task...I know I can do it..I'm ready to let go. I don't want to be burdened with this anymore. Plus if I have ever hurt someone I would want to be forgiven....it's the right thing to do.

Also I would like to add that I don't mean to lay all of my problems out on everybody else, but it just seems like what I have tried in the past hasn't worked...so thank you for your support and your compassion.

[Dora]

Hello again sis

First I'd like to say it's wonderful to watch the Lord work with in you.

Blesses my heart.

Also that your sharing your struggle was not a burden but just as we need to do and should do so to over come.

When reading what you wrote I didn't see a bitter person. I saw a sister who longs to do Gods will.

I struggle myself with bitterness. It's been a long process for me. But I see it and admit to it and that is the first step. He will continue to work to remove it. We are right where He wants us to be right now. But we're not yet who we will be through Him and His healing and counsel.

[mlg]

We are told to carry one another's burdens...so hence your sharing...helps us help you...we know how to pray and what to pray for in your life...and there is power in prayer...so keep sharing and keep on fighting...you are going to get there.

luv ya