Christianity Oasis Forum

[mlg]

Upside, our relationship with the Lord takes daily nurturing...we have to put some things in place to keep us on track and seeking Him continually. I read a chapter in my Bible every morning and I listen to Christian music or Christian talk shows on my way to work and back and I use this time to talk with God...2 hours a day...and I spend a lot of time here at the Oasis...encouraging others and reading posts on the forums or spending time in the chatroom. These are things that I do, not because I have to...but because I need to in order to be close to God and His will in my life. I encourage you to come up with some Godly activities to keep you close to God as well once you've finished the steps.

See you in the beginning.

luv ya

[deetu]

UpSide, I think I'm the only one encouraged that this happened to you. It means that the enemy doesn't want you to find freedom because God has something special for you. Make sense?
The fact that you realize that you fell away and you are starting over again instead of quitting, like others would have done, is fantastic because you will not give in to the evil one and want, really want God and what He means... freedom!!

[UpSide413]

Well I said I was going to make daily visits to CO and I haven't been doing that. Sooooo much going on. Most not good. I think the devil is on my shoulder and I'm sick and tired of him!!! I'm angry at myself for not staying close to the fire and so angry at my hub for so many years of neglect. Let me clarify, I do know that I am responsible for my physical actions, but I do realize now what emotional pain drew me to drink and eat! For escape! I know that hub knew he had some sort of problem and just didn't care that he was taking someone along with him. I want to come out of this pit that what he thinks I am, then I think I am... God help me to get rid of these feelings that I've allowed him to instill in me. I am worthy to be loved and respected. For so long I've let him make me feel that I am the problem. I'm not all of it. Something is terribly wrong with him and I cannot fix it. It makes me so angry that he didn't tell me. I don't know what the problem is, but I'm tired of it being blamed on me. I'm so angry at him that I try to avoid conversation all together. I just do not want to be around him.
I know these feelings are not christian and I will have to rid myself of these to completely heal, but I think it is good for me to see that he does have a problem and he needs to work on it. I've got my own problems that I do try to work on, but his problem is not me!! And yes I know I'm saying the same things over and over, I just need to get them out!
God created me and sent His Son to die for ME, so I am worthy to be happy and healthy. I do deserve to be respected. Once I get my self worth problem solved, my addiction problems solved, I'm not sure where that is going to leave my marriage??? I know that until I get my own problems solved my marriage will not change only get worse.
God HELP!! I cannot do it on my own.

[mlg]

Hi Ups

A commitment to God has to be an ongoing commitment. It takes daily maintenance to make and keep a good relationship. This takes work...and it also takes making ourselves accountable to spend the time necessary with Him. Once you make the commitment and stick to it...then God can help you work on you and the changes that you would like to see made within. I'm not sure if you are still doing the miracle grow charts or not...but I suggest if you aren't to do them daily...they will help make you accountable to doing the things you need to...

Praying for you.

luv ya

[UpSide413]

Hi Friends / CO
it's been over a month since I've been here. I have thought of you all often. That doesn't help me or encourage others if I'm not connected though. Things were not so good the last time I posted well they got worse. 10 days after my last post I lost my sister to cancer. Not only was she my sister, she was my best friend. She also is the only person on planet earth that loved me just because I was me. She knew all about me inside and outside and she still loved me totally!! I can hardly stand the pain. So most of the time I just choose not to accept that she is gone. I just can't talk with her now. We didn't live close so not being able to see her too often isn't too unusual. She loved so much. Not just me, but if you meet her you could feel she loved you and was interested in what you had to say. Things got way worse for me since then. Sometimes God might let you dig a pit so deep that the only place to look is UP. I think I'm there. Went to church this morning and rededicated my life to HIM. Somehow I want to take my addiction experience and help other christians. There isn't such a place close to where I live. There are plenty of recovery meetings, but none that I could find that are Christian based. Pray with me and for me about that.
Love and God Bless All!

[Dora]

I am so sorry for your loss upside.

I wish I had words that would take away your pain. The one thing you have that not everyone has is hope in seeing her again.

My prayers are with you.

[Christnundrconstruxn]

First let me say welcome to Oasis and I am glad to know you
second I wanted to say something about your comment-

[Somehow I want to take my addiction experience and help other christians. There isn't such a place close to where I live. There are plenty of recovery meetings, but none that I could find that are Christian based.]

You HAVE found that place here, there are people on here that need to hear your story and know how you deal with it, you came here for healing right...so what about the ones that came after you they are here to hear from people just like you, you needed the words of encouragement you received and the Christian love you are receiving and led to Gods word.
So you see God has led you here to heal others and BE healed all while feeling the true love of Christians that had and some still have broken spirits just like you, we are all here for each other.
I hope to see more from you and please know we all love you.
God bless
Cuc [/quote]

[anne marie]

Hello Upside
I am very sorry for your loss and your marital pain.
Please keep coming back here. It truly will help you out of the pit you talk of. God will give you the strength.
anne marie

[UpSide413]

Thanks all for the wonder replys and words of encouragement. I was just going to login and post the happenings of my day, and what did I find true encouragement!!
You guys / gals ROCK!!!
Going to start over on my stepping stones. They are awesome avenues of healing and encouragement!!

thank you all.
love and God Bless You!!

[UpSide413]

yep, I'm back. Hope all is going well for everyone.
I'm starting my 14 steps over today and I desperately need your prayers. I'm doing ok with my "addictions", it is just total depression (loss of my best friend and sister) and I feel spiritually dead, literally! that has engulfed me. I can't explain it, not sure I'm even saved. I know that God sent His perfect Son to die on the cross for all my sins and He arose from the grave. I believe all that, I accept that Jesus is the only to Heaven, but I do not feel it. Shouldn't a TRUE belief make me want to pray, maker we want to read God's word, make me want to go to church???? I keep thinking of the passage that says that even the Devil believes, well there has to be more than just belief and I'm afraid I do not have it. I'm like the seed that fell on stoney ground, it springs up then withers because it hasn't any roots.
Please pray for me. I have confidence in you and thanks for being here!!
upSide

[dema]

Is Jesus your Lord? Do you accept his guidance and want him as your Lord? If you have confessed that Jesus is the Son of God and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead and that he is your personal Lord - then you are saved no matter how it feels.

Depression after great loss is normal. And it does make you feel numb.

Of course we will pray for you.

Remember that you need to reach out to God. He is a gentleman and will not force himself on you. You need to ask for help and seek him. You seek him by praying, praising, and just going to him with your pain.

I am so sorry for your pain. For your loss.

[UpSide413]

This is supposed to be my thoughts. Well to be honest, I'm not sure I have any. That's sad! Yes I've got a lot of weeds in my garden and I will be working on them. I read step 2 and kept thinking, "well what if it is my hubby that has the weeds that I'm having problems with". Loneliness!! God fill this void in my life. I honestly do not think it will ever change. To many times it's been brought up and all those times nothing has ever changed. Change me God that I do not need a companion. Please. Not that I would leave hubby, just make the loneliness go away. That with my sister being gone, is just too much it seems. I know You can do ALL things and you can take this away. Help me to rely on You and do the things I need to do to pull my own weeds and bring forth good fruit!!