Christianity Oasis Forum

[Guest]

Steping Stone 2 began today with a myriad of feelings. Anger, confusion, resentment, fear, indignation . . . . . . . . being in love with an addict is not easy. My emotions have been blaring non-stop for the last 24 hours "get out!" "She is not good for you . . . . . .She doesn't know how to love, give, or commit . . . . . . . it is a toxic pattern of dysfunction which will destroy both of you." Some truth here but, you see, the Lord has given me a gift. Some of you who have loved ones with addictions probably can relate. It is Agape Love . . . . . . I have told my wife over and over that there is NOTHING you can ever do that will make me stop loving you. I thank God that he has given me this gift, but . . . . . . . . . . it raises another issue.

As I read through ss2, the Holy Spirit began to minister to me. The feelings described above left and were replaced with a spirit of peace as I began to look inward. My beautiful plant of Agape is surrounded by weeds of co-dependence. These weeds tell me to focus myself on another person instead of God. They tell me that I will find my fulfillment in serving another person instead of serving God. They tell to meet my needs through another person instead of through God. They tell me that I should recieve Agape from this person as I give it. Agape is my gift not hers . . . . . I should be looking toward the Lord to receive mine.

In a sense, these weeds of co-dependence amount to idolatry. They must be rooted out. This is where God's bus will take me.

[realtmg]

You said it. Co-dependent. If you will except Vahn's post in Real Solution's; you will find much wisdom as he and I have been where your wife is. The sooner she runs out of money and people who enable her, the quicker she will get better. We all had to hit that bottom!
GBU BRO!

Real

[Guest]

I spent a year+ with my wife "in the life" so I have experienced the crack demon and the destruction he wreaks first hand. I lived in a crack house, frequented them, associated with crack users, crack dealers, prostitutes, pimps, and had numerous nefarious "adventures" in the abyss. I felt that my presence was a "lifeboat" for her in the sense that she would not drown in the crack subculture. I think it was, because after I couldn't take it anymore and got out, she became so acute that death was imminent. Believe me when I say, that rock bottom for my wife is death. I thank God that He intervened before this happened by incarcerating her.

As an update, to those of you who have been praying for us, the Lord has responded. I spent the day with my wife. She is in a clean and sober house. She is working a program. She looks good, sounds good, and is claiming love, power and soundness of mind. The Holy Spirit is present. We are believing that she has a home (where her heart is) here, and an office (her clean and sober home) where she will live and work most of the time. This arrangement will also give me opportunity to do the work I must accomplish. Thank God that His wisdom is perfect. I ask forgiveness for my lack of faith and for letting my emotions take control.

[Dora]

Wow! Praise God for answered prayers!! My prayers continue to rise. Praying Praying Praying

God bless and keep you brother.

[vahn]

Hello again ajcook

Glad to hear of your wife's miracilous speedy recovery . Maybe , now that what seems to me you got what you want , we can concentrate on , in your terms ,

This arrangement will also give me opportunity to do the work I must accomplish.

, with that quote and your presence here , I am deeming it safe for me to assume you are talking about accomplishing to go through the steps here and work on yourself .

May our Lord be your Guide in Truth .



In Christ , our Lord