Christianity Oasis Forum

[Tam]

I am not sure that I am at the right place but I will give it a try.
You see, I have an addiction. That addiction is cutting which comes from selfhate.
Things are starting to get really out of hand and I am really scared. My friends have tried to help me and so have some others. Nothing is seeming to help people talk to me and I feel condemned and bad and want to cut because of shame.
It seems like cutting is the only outlet that I have for releif and I am fixing to lose friends if I don't stop.
Can someone please help me?

[goldieluvs]

Tam There is a whole forum devoted to that particular issue called behind closed doors. There is also a study here that you might find helpful

http://www.christianityoasis.com/keyword/selfharm.htm

Sis, I dunno much about how to deal with it, but will keep u in prayers.

luv ya

[Tam]

yes Goldie I have done that study. I am also familiar with behind close doors. BUt thinking that maybe if I come at this as an addiction....that will help.

[vahn]

Hey Tam

Glad I read this post . Though we shouldn't discount all other aspects , but we also find that most (80%) of what we go through in the present are repeated , habitual thoughts , which basically amounts to addiction(s) (to the thoughts) and a pattern developes . Since we never got to replace these thoughts , or for some reason , we never had anything to replace them WITH , looking at it as an addiction will be most appropriate . After all , what is addiction after all ? An obsession right ? Obsession is nothing but a thought that overwhelms us if we keep our minds focused on it . The actions we take afterwards (whether it be using , drinking , cutting or jumpin off windows) are but symptoms of existing probs , they just surface stuff , need to get to the root , but ... first we need to separate ourselves from the ACTION first , so in so doing we get more time to spend on solution .

Hope I'm being of some help .


Luv ya
In Christ , our Lord

[Tam]

I get what you are saying Vahn......
Everyone says not to dwell on those thoughts all day. That if you go there in your mind well then you are already there.
I don't dewll on them. Try really hard not to even think about them. I can be snowed under at work with paperwork and thing of numbers and other stuff that I have to when out of the blue poof......you need to cut....you need to feel ok.....you need a release I will be in a perfectly happy and good mood. THat is the thoughts that come out of no where. What do you do to them??

[vahn]

Well , I mean it sounds very (uh ... fishing for right word) actually , simple , to the point of V8 moment . I was told to train myself to say " Yeah ? So ? So what ? Of course I have to think this way I'm an addict , what d'you expect me to think !!" and then IMMEDIATELY turn my focus on something else , preferably to God , in my case I went something like " YO , Pops , what up ? " , tell Him a joke or something .

Then , after making a habit outa that , of course its not gonna be easy at first , but it gets easier each time we try it , calming down , we try to figure out what kind of thought is preceding right before the "urge" hits , like what's triggering it , could be something in paperwork , or numbers , anything . Try to keep track of it , then we can take an inventory on that and put the pieces together .

Make sense ?


Luv ya

[xxJILLxx]

Hi Tam,

I know you said you try not to think of these negative thoughts, and i get u sis. But i don't think u realise the power of your own thoughts.

The most important mental dynamic for you to be aware of is ~ knowing about the relationship between your thinking and the way you feel.

Its important to realise that you ARE constantly thinking> don't be fooled into believing that you are already aware of this fact! For instance breathing.. until this moment you lost sight of the fact you were doing it. The TRUTH is, unless you are out of breath, you simply forget that its occurring.

Thinking works the same way> Because you are always doing it, its easy to forget its happening, and it becomes invisible to you. Unlike breathing however, forgetting that you are thinking can cause some serious problems in your life, such as unhappiness etc. The reason this is true is because your thinking will always come back to you as a feeling.

You cant get angry without angry thoughts.. you cant get sad without sad thoughts... etc and so on. you cant do it- its impossible. The TRUTH is, in order to experience a feeling, you must first have a thought that produces that feeling. There is nothing to hold your negative feelings in place other than your own thinking. The next time you are feeling upset, notice your thinking- it will be negative. Remind yourself that its your thinking that is negative, not your life. This simple awareness will be the first step in putting you back on the path toward happiness. It takes practice, but you CAN get to the point where you treat your negative thoughts in much the same way you would treat flies at a picnic: You shoo them away and get on with your day.

Love you sis!

God bless
♥Jill n Vahn