Christianity Oasis Forum

[mlg]

And while you wait...you need to spend much time in prayer until you feel His grace surrounding you continually....He wants to change you arken...but just like the change it takes for a catapillar to turn into a butterfly...it takes time...but with time...comes real beauty.

luv ya

[Dora]

I love your faith and dedication to the Lord brother.

You said....

Lord. I want to get to the end of my life and see you smiling and welcoming me without having to point out any points in my life where I messed up the BIG plans.

Arken do you feel when you meet God part of the meeting will include a time when God will go over what you've done wrong in your life? Where you've messed up?

Praying for you. Love you bro!

[arken1]

1 day left. Kept my thoughts under control today, so it was yet again one of the easier days in the past 2 weeks.

Pine, yes, I guess I imagine God somehow wanting us to see what "could have been" on earth, even though it doesn't matter at that point. On the other hand, maybe since it doesn't matter by the time we're in Heaven, He wouldn't have any reason to mention it. I don't expect any sort of punishment or anything, but more like that the haze of sin would be removed from my mind and I would somehow *see* what I missed.

Jesus does indicate that there will be rewards based on actions. Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done

[Dora]

HI Arken. I believe God must be very proud of your dedication to him. It's a treat to be able to read your journal and how you've overcome daily. I hope you continue to journal even after the steps are over.

you said...

Pine, yes, I guess I imagine God somehow wanting us to see what "could have been" on earth, even though it doesn't matter at that point. On the other hand, maybe since it doesn't matter by the time we're in Heaven, He wouldn't have any reason to mention it. I don't expect any sort of punishment or anything, but more like that the haze of sin would be removed from my mind and I would somehow *see* what I missed.

My thoughts were on the sheep and goats. If we are his sheep, then there would be no judgment towards what we didn't do that we should of done or what we did do wrong. It just doesn't line up to forgiven being forgiven. Paying in heaven for anything we've messed up just doesn't really align with who God is. Does it? I'm still trying to undo inaccurate thoughts of what that day will bring. So I'm not saying I got it figured out and you don't. I'm still learning! I just want to point out that if our thoughts on God are not accurate then we may stumble over them one day. Gotta button up the armor so there's not any open spaces for the enemy to try to sneak in. Me and you both bro. God bless and keep you.

[mlg]

one more day yay! So proud of you arken...I too hope you will continue to journal here....I've seen you growing arken...and you are seeking to get closer to God and this will bring you strength.

Keep moving with God and reaching for Him always.

luv ya

[Guest]

[quote="arken1"]To summarize what I've read, Simon LeVay noticed that most (but not all) homosexuals who died from AIDS had a certain part of the brain responsible for sexual desire that was smaller than heterosexual men and any women who had AIDS in the study. It's not certain, but it's possible that there is biological differences in homosexuals. At the same time, the study didn't find this in 100% of the cases.
[quote]

It's also possible that this area of the brain shrunk due to having AIDS, not being homosexual. It's also possible that this area of the brain shrunk due to the AIDS medications they might have been taking. Just some other theories to think about.

Honestly, I would be careful to take many scientific studies with a grain of salt until many, many studies confirm the same results. Certainly you realize that there are individuals out there that are determined to PROVE homosexuality is determined at birth and not a sin. This is their cause/mission in life. Even if their study does not prove anything they are more than happy to propagate the "suggestion" of what the study proves. Such as the AIDS study you quoted. Now, a critical thinker will be able to see the study and know it proves nothing, but is just something to look more into. A non-critical thinker will take this study and run with it and just use it as more "evidence" for what they want to believe.

God gave us reason and logic. We would do our best to honor him by using it. Don't let others feed us with half-truths, misrepresentations and allow those to rule our minds.

On a side note, I encourage to check out a website I referred to several years ago while my husband was battling porn. Google "porn free addiction" and it will pull up an organization that focuses on battling porn. There is also a special section on homosexuality that might be worth looking into.

I applaud you for addressing this issue. I know it can't be easy. Our society is bent on making homosexuality acceptable. It's peer pressure at its worst because if you go against it, you are not being politically correct or offending someone.

Press on, friend. The prize is at the end - comfort, peace and TRUE FREEDOM in our Lord, Jesus Christ!

[arken1]

And here it is, the last day of the Counseling Journal. Indeed, I should continue this journal to post updates on how God has healed me.

I never thought I would make it this far. (Yeah, ok, 2 weeks, right? Big deal?) I have started so many times to set this right with God. I kept saying... ok God will heal me and tomorrow I won't look at porn. Tomorrow I won't lust after other men. How foolish was that? Finally, God brought me here to share my story, and to get the support He says that we need from fellow Christians. I can not honestly remember going 2 weeks without any pornography, maybe in my entire life. How did I get there? I don't know. Satan uses the Internet for his purposes, and God uses it for His.

I really should say Thank You for all the Christians on this site who are not quiet, reserved, content, lukewarm, and selfish. If we all took the Good News and went into hiding until we died, what contribution would that make to God's plan? It wouldn't. It would be wasting His gift. Thank you for the prayer, for reading lengthy journals from some guy you don't even know.

I did check out one of the sites about porn addiction. Porn-free is the first one I am reviewing, particularly the Homosexual section. There is definitely some good info in there, much of which has been mentioned in this journal. There are a lot of topics in there that I haven't read yet, but they do hit home, in many ways, and I know I will learn and grow a stronger relationship with God by studying them.

I mentioned before that I didn't have any of the classic traps of homosexuality, well after reading that site, I guess that's not entirely true. It mentions:
"Parental problems: Absent, detached, uninterested, overbearing or controlling; lack of gender affirmation"
"Ridicule or teasing from peers"
"Rejection"
"Loneliness"

I have the most loving parents and family of anyone in the world. They were always around as a child, involved in my life, and relaxed. However, my dad loves in a very "non-affectionate" way. I can only think of even hugging my father a handful of times in my life. There never had been the strong "gender affirmation" there. Additionally, I was always teased, due to wearing glasses and then being overweight, and then, you guessed it "being gay" (only by a few ignorant people, not like dozens of people said that). So, I have been down the beaten path, and Satan talked me into crawling into a lonely hole of life.

In case someone reads this 10 years from now and thinks "hmm, wonder what this guy's story was." Let me sum it up: I have 100% believed my entire life (and I'm talking 5 years old here) that I was "homosexual". I don't mean I talked myself into it, and just forced myself to be that way. I mean my body reacts to homosexual fantasies, and not heterosexual. That is all changing because of God and the support of his Christ's followers. As the "ex" gay-leader I referenced in an earlier journal said, this is one of the most beautiful feelings you could ever imagine. When you finally put effort into talking to God about this, and turning your back on porn. Don't say "OK God you do it, cause I hate this" and then go the next day and stare at pornography for hours. Who didn't hold up their end of the bargain? YOU, not God.

I know this is just the beginning of my journey. It's hard to tell after 2 weeks how much has changed, but I just know there is a change. I have pointed out no porn, and stronger control over feelings. When I'm happily married (to a Woman, for crying out loud!) for 30 years, you'll know for certain I have allowed God to pour out the blessings of Heaven on the sexual life he designed and intended for all of us.

14 days down, eternity to go! Again, updates are to come!

Thanks for the prayers. Believe me, you all are in mine.

[mlg]

And I look forward to reading them for sure...you have come such a long way in two weeks...and God is not finished with you yet...the journey continues for a lifetime. Don't hesitate to come back and review any of the steps at anytime...if you feel yourself slipping and needing a boost of help.

My prayers will be with you and may the changes God has already made and will continue to make...bring out the Light that shines through to all those you meet.

luv ya

[Dora]

One day at a time. Make it through 24 hours. Don't look at making it through eternity, look at making it through today. Then work on tomorrow tomorrow.


Proud of you.

[arken1]

Hello all,

Just wanted to drop a note since it has been a while since my last post. I have had a really hard time turning away from homosexual feelings. However, so far, still no porn since I started this (about 3.5 weeks so far). This week I have been very busy/not at home very much so that's why there haven't been many updates.

Thank you for reading.

[Dora]

Good to hear from you arken. Was wondering how you were doing.

Saying a prayer for you.

[arken1]

I am still around. I think about this site every night. "Well, I should follow through with the steps and continue my journal, but I'm just too tired". And that's the truth, but I probably should make time somewhere through the week to get on here again.

I have stayed away from the porn sites since the beginning. That makes me feel somewhat better, but I still have major issues. My body is craving something that I have to train it not to crave. I still have lustful thoughts, which are still not fully under control. I have improved, but I'm not near where I need to be. So, I still need this site and its support. I'll make it a point to post in the next week.