Christianity Oasis Forum
The Holy Spirit taught me now how important it is to stay on guard. I was guarding my heart in the wrong way. I thought by putting my walls back around my heart was the right way. It's not. Sure it keeps people from hurting you some but it also keeps out the good people from God and even God Himself. So with His help, I have torn down the wall. I replace the fear with His love. I trust Him in knowing I will be hurt again someday but He will be there for me and all will be well in the end.
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Bloodstone - Posts: 158
- Location: Under the shadow of Gods Wings
- Marital Status: Not Interested
Something else the Holy Spirit has helped me with that I wanted to share. We are having a revival at my church. Last Sunday was the beginning of it. See, I have S.A.D. I wanted to go, with all my heart. God knows I did. I found out about it last Tuesday. So ever since then, I have worked on the idea of "yea, I'm going." By Saturday night, the anxiety built up in me to where I couldn't even sleep. So of course, I wasn't able to go Sunday morning. Well my heart was just crushed. My spirit had never been so low. Plus all of this, I had a run in with some old friends. So I said in my spirit, I just give up. There is no use in me fighting anymore. I can't beat this thing and I had been trying to fix things up with my old friends too. So I felt like a failure in everything. Especially about my fears. I had heard a sermon a couple days ago, before church Sunday, that fear grieves the Holy Spirit. So knowing I had grieved Him, just crushed me. So praying Sunday night about this and today for God to show me what is true. To please show me what I am doing wrong because I can't do anything anymore. That's when His answer came to me. I can't do this on my own. I can't "fix" anything or even myself without holding His hand every step of the way. I didn't mean to leave God out of the picture. I thought the way I was doing things was the right way. But it's not. So I told the Holy Spirit, "ok I don't give up but I do give up on trying to do things the way I think is right. I want to do the things YOU tell me to do." Because Gods ways are not our way and His thoughts are not our thoughts. So I decided to let it all go in my heart. I want the Holy Spirit to have my whole heart. I don't want to hold onto things that I think I can fix. I have heard all my saved life, "give God control, He knows what's best." But thing is, you don't ever forget when you experience it.
I do love You, Holy Spirit, with all my heart. That's what I have always wanted was You to have all my heart, to be so close to You that I can hear You breathe. Thank You for the things You show me to bring me closer to You.
I do love You, Holy Spirit, with all my heart. That's what I have always wanted was You to have all my heart, to be so close to You that I can hear You breathe. Thank You for the things You show me to bring me closer to You.
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Bloodstone - Posts: 158
- Location: Under the shadow of Gods Wings
- Marital Status: Not Interested
Well here goes. I am facing my "giants" tonight. Boy is it a "giant". But I am trying. Every inch of flesh on me is screaming no, don't. Looking for ways to get out of it. But deep down, I don't want to get out of it. I want to face my fear and be pleasing to God. I want to be what He has planned for me to be. Not facing my fears will get me no where. My love for God and His love for me will get me through this. He promised not to leave or forsake me. I must admit i am a tiny bit upset with God for making me do this alone. But I know it's for the best. I want and need to lean completely on Him. Still afraid, though. Even though He is with me.
Anyone reading this, please pray for me that I obey Him. He wants me to do this. I need to do this and I want to.
Anyone reading this, please pray for me that I obey Him. He wants me to do this. I need to do this and I want to.
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Bloodstone - Posts: 158
- Location: Under the shadow of Gods Wings
- Marital Status: Not Interested
I feel lost today. I don't know what to do. I feel like screaming, "Jesus where are You, help me." But then again, I know He's here.
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Bloodstone - Posts: 158
- Location: Under the shadow of Gods Wings
- Marital Status: Not Interested
The Lord has put two songs in my heart today. One is "I'm Free" and the other is "I Feel Like Traveling On". I am thankful that in His Word He says He will sing songs of deliverance over us. I am so thankful we have a God that allows us to be close to Him and He really wants us to be. What an awesome never-ending loving God we serve.
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Bloodstone - Posts: 158
- Location: Under the shadow of Gods Wings
- Marital Status: Not Interested
With the Holy Spirits help, I have finally faced my giant. You know, he wasn't anything but a bully. I thought he was big and fierce as he stood over me, telling me, you can't do this, you can't do that. I would try to fight him over and over until I was ready to give up. So I just told the Lord," I can't do this. That giant is so much bigger than me, and he's so loud. He always just pushes me right back down." But the Lord said, "not by might, not by power but by my Spirit." I do trust the Lord, but this time, I put that in action. I told Him, "ok You handle this for me because Your Word says the battle belongs to You." So I got myself ready, heard the giant, "you can't do that." But I put my total confidence and trust in my God. I said "ok Lord, I belong to You, if I die, I still belong to You." That old giant huffed and puffed all the way to my church. But I kept my focus straight into Jesus Eyes. I said, "Lord, if You can part the Red Sea, You can make a path for me." Then it was almost as if I could hear the water rolling back around me. It was drizzling a bit too. When I got to my church and say down, I know God put this into my mind...I saw a giant spirit that wasn't so big after all, and an angel took a sword and just cut him right into.
I am thankful for what God has done in my life. I pray that He gets the glory He certainly deserves. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for Him, let alone face that giant in my life.
I am thankful for what God has done in my life. I pray that He gets the glory He certainly deserves. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for Him, let alone face that giant in my life.
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Bloodstone - Posts: 158
- Location: Under the shadow of Gods Wings
- Marital Status: Not Interested
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