Christianity Oasis Forum

[Guest]

Thanks Mack for the thoughts and prayers and for everyone else for their kind advice.

So I haven't been on a for a couple of days due to being tired from work and I guess pure laziness but hopefully I will not repeat the laziness in the future.

I have just read Step 5 and its all about Blame. I feel like I blame a few people for the way I am - mainly my parents. I realized or maybe I was just hiding it inside, that I blame them for everything that goes wrong with me.

I am the oldest child in the family and the only girl so I guess I was the "guinnea pig" with them and how they raised me - needless to say I was sheltered ALOT - I don't mean a bit, I was basically at home 80% of the time and I did go out but it was very limited. I have two younger brothers and they had a lot more freedom than I did and as I write this I still can feel the anger or resentment coming out. There are a few instances where I wasn't allowed to go out because my parents were scared of what "might happen" and so as everyone else went, I would have to stay home - I can still remember them vividly.

I have mentioned before that my father is very domineering and I guess I blame him for my lack of confidence as well - he's not fully to blame in my mind, my highschool experience was also a part of it. I wasn't allowed to do alot of things that most of the girls at school were and since I was "different" the guys at school made fun of me and basically made me doubt my self-worth. I still deal with low self-esteem.

That's what I mean by I'm warped - I feel like I'm this jumble of emotions - mainly feelings of unworthiness, maybe depression, anger and resentment.

I do have a quick temper and I pray one day I can control my tongue and think before I speak.

It scares me that I was mad at God about a month ago - I was mad at Him because I believed I should be able to move out without any trouble and I should find a husband but why was it taking so long?? I have a hard time believing that He is there looking out for me and that He truly loves me when I don't even think I'm worth it especially when I have these "me, me, me" pity parties. Its all too easy to ask "why not me?" Why can't something good happen to me like I see in other people's lives - I know I should be thankful that I do have my health and my job and my family but why do I feel so dissatisfied? How do I become content with what I have and what God has blessed me with?

[mlg]

Awww being content comes by loving God totally and without reserve. I know though how selfish the flesh is and how we desire more than we have..but finding peace in our situation that we are in brings us joy in the Lord. Now that doesn't mean we can't hope...hope is good as it sustains us in the journey of life...so hang on to your hope sis...for better days ahead.

luv ya

[Dora]

We can hold in anger and resentment against those who cause us to struggle but as you see it gets us no where but angry and down. Forgiving your parents for their mistakes will bring you a freedom. You know they did what they did out of love. Possibly they have been hurt in their past and were over reacting to keep you from the pain they felt. I pray you find forgiveness towards all others building with in you.

I think many struggle with self worth. What God has to say about you is way more important than what any person has to say about you. Seek His words in all things before others words can even begin to take effect on your emotions and feelings.

God bless and keep you.

[Mackenaw]

Hello HopingonGod

God bless you this day.

I love that you are receiving the blessed messages in this Study. Awesome revelation there, huh? Part of the human condition, or should I say "habits", taught us by the world -- to point the finger of blame. Eeeuuuwwww, I hate when that happens.

While some of the blessed lessons learned initially have us view our own sins, bad habits and emotionally and unhealthy tendencies, we do have to be careful that we don't also use the blessed correction to have us throw another pity party. It's no secret that we're all pretty selfish and worthless in comparison to God, but...He loves us. He corrects those He loves. We then have to learn from the correction and proceed/move forward in His love.

Check out this scripture and how it describes Jesus, our example to follow:
Hebrews 1:9 Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity, therefore God, even Thy God, hath anointed Thee with the oil of gladness above Thy fellows.

Cool huh?!!! Jesus was Glad -- He was full of joy.

Here's another scripture that I want to share with you:
Hebrews 10:35 Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.

Again, I say -- if God's Word tells us to be a certain way, He'll provide the means by which to do it.

You've had 30 years to digest the teachings of this world, and yet you describe yourself as warped. As a child of God, your spiritual understanding is being awakened Big Time!!! If you continue on the path and continue to seek Him with your whole heart, you will be enlightened by God at warp speed -- Light speed -- as He is the Light and He will grow you in blessed Truth and wisdom.

Woooooohoooooo!!!

You are doing well, HopingonGod. Jesus loves you so very much. Continue on the path.

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Sister Mack

[Guest]

Hi Everyone -

I haven't posted in a couple of days but I appreciate everyone's encouragement and advice - will start Step 6 tomm.

I did have a prayer request though - a girl I know just had twin boys but I believe there were complications and she couldn't take her babies home with her (don't know the details). I'm asking everyone to please pray for this girl and her children and that these two little boys are healed of whatever it is and that they come home healthy and strong.


thanks and talk to you all tomm.

[mlg]

Prayers are rising sis...see ya soon.

luv ya

[Mackenaw]

Hello HopingonGod,

God bless you this day.

I'm sending up prayers for the twins and their mom. God's perfect and blessed will be done.

Love,
Mack

[Guest]

I appreciate the prayers for my aquaintance and her twin boys -


So I'm on step 6 and its all about renewing the mind and controlling my thoughts - big problem for me

I know I'm not a slave to my thoughts - I am above them or I don't have to be controlled by them but its sooo hard to stay away from things I know is bad - there is this one problem that I have that basically comes and goes but when it comes along and I struggle with it, I basically give in. I tell myself that its wrong and I am not enslaved to it but basically I convince myself that I should give in. The funny thing is that in my mind, I tell myself repeatedly that I don't want to give into this problem but since its hounding me in my mind to give in, I should it give in so it will be gone - how twisted does that sound?

I need deliverance from it - I know its probably because I'm a lazy person - this step talks about idleness and I think I'm the queen! I am too consumed with other stuff to do than truly sit down and talk with God - I think I'm afraid to hear what He has to say for some reason.

Even though I've been a real Christian for 8 years - I still think I'm a "baby" Christian - not maturing at all.

Its also all too easy to let things of this world slide on by - what I mean is that things that I know are wrong that I see, they don't faze me. I know they are wrong and I might not partake in them but its like I feel nothing - I'm not convicted to speak out - I'm too timid in my faith possibly.

I feel like I "do the right things" - I like Christian music, try not to read books that are inappropriate or watch movies that are inappropriate, read the Bible but its not enough - where is the fire inside? I constantly remember what Jesus said about the Pharisees, how they "looked" religious but inside they were nothing but a shell or where Jesus says to a group of people who claimed to do things in His name but He say to them that He did not know them....I feel like that will be me - maybe its the devil trying to fool me in thinking I'm being excluded but that's how I feel or think.

[Dora]

I feel like I "do the right things" - I like Christian music, try not to read books that are inappropriate or watch movies that are inappropriate, read the Bible but its not enough - where is the fire inside?

You answered your own question right here....

I am too consumed with other stuff to do than truly sit down and talk with God - I think I'm afraid to hear what He has to say for some reason.

How can you have fire inside if you are not talking to the Lord? You can't. He is the fire with in and you are not tapping into Him and His power.

Why are you afraid to hear from Him? What are you afraid He'll say or do? I think behind this answer you'll find you have something you need to work on and get past so to grow spiritually.



Praying for you.

[mlg]

Hey hoping...you know renewing your mind takes work and it also takes trying...I had something happen to me on the way to work this morning...and it kinda hit me hard at the moment...but I immediately told God that I needed to change my thoughts..and asked for His help and it worked...He wants to help you too...but I see that you don't really trust God as He needs you to...so work on talking to God and listening...it is the way to true healing...and if you want the healing...you will have to be willing to do the things it takes to get there.

Come on sis...finish the race.

luv ya

[Mackenaw]

Hello HopingonGod

God bless you this day.

You asked:

...where is the fire inside?

Woooooohoooooo!!! Where indeed?!!! The fact that you notice there is something missing, is a good thing. The Lord is revealing so very much to you. Even having you consider some of your own bad habits -- being lax in your giddy up.

As you grow in knowledge of Him, and your relationship with The Lord grows, so will your reach. You'll start reaching for Him more and more, because you'll know in your heart "when we are weak, He is strong."

Maybe ask The Lord to change your "want to".

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Mack

[Guest]

Ok so I haven't been on here for about 2 weeks and I'm not surprised at myself at all. I reread Stepping Stone 7 about getting rid of lies that we store up inside of us. And I just thought of a lie that comes up over and over with me and I think its kind of appropriate at the moment. Its that God's love or my relationship with Him is boring - I'm ashamed to put this out there but its the truth, this is what I think sometimes.

I think half my problem is that I base my relationship with God through my emotions - when I'm happy, I'm great, when I'm upset, I'm really depressed and it affects my walk with God. Does that make sense? I'm tired of being an emotional roller coaster. When I don't feel like I have a problem - like at the moment, I'm in a state of nothing. I don't feel anything and that's the most dangerous time in my life. Its not when I am depressed, although that isn't a great feeling either but its when I feel numb. How do I get out of this?

I constantly battle this feeling of numbness and I feel like I'm ok, like all my problems are solved but I know a week or it might be longer than that - they will all come back. My feelings of self-worth or whatever will come crashing down again and I start the whole thing all over.

How do I get to the place where I love God and its not based on my emotions - its not based on whether I'm happy that day or sad?? And how do you love someone - be it a spouse or a friend, for example unconditionally and have it not based on emotions?

I want what others seem to have - this walk with God that's steadfast and constant - not this up and down relationship I have with Him. If I delve deeper, I think it is related to my relationship with my parents and their relationship with each other. My parents' marriage has, since I can remember, always been rocky - I don't think I know of a time where they were happy. Because of the abscence of my father mostly growing up (he worked constantly) I don't know how to relate to him and I never could get along with him for the most part. He's not the easiest person to talk to and mostly we don't talk at all. I'm actually afraid to ask him about everything - this feeling of nervousness comes over me and I try to avoid asking him anything if I can help it.

I don't feel like I ever had stability in my home.

I really sidetracked from what I originally started out with but comng back to thinking that my relationship with God is boring is a lie. I just need to keep telling myself that over and over and not to give up trying to get to know Him better. I also need to remind myself that He wants to be with me.

Prayers and more prayers are always welcome

Till tommorow