Christianity Oasis Forum

[mlg]

Well sis, I am not sure what terms you mean when you say you repeatedly have told a man to back off....but we as ladies have to remember as well not to put ourselves in situations that might leave us open to misinterpretation by men...not saying this is what is happening with you...as I don't know exactly what you speak up...yes I agree we should all be respected...but I have my own friends who have made mistakes and I forgive them and just try not to put my self in that situation again.

Not sure I'm helping much here sis...but just sharing thoughts.

luv ya

[jamisfaithnjoy]

It's ok.Sometimes the posts I "journal" through on this particular area aren't so much as needing "help" per se..Just a vent to know that someone out there somewhere is listening and if we're lucky,actually cares.That is something out of you I never second guessed from the day I "met" you on here and from when I have a chance reading how you respond to others as well..Always in the same guiding,loving mannerisms and very insightful at times But as to the last entry..I listened to a sermon they had on the radio kinda in reference to what you were saying,where,sure,we as women may NOT be trying to garner the attention of men in general and you know as well as I do,with the more "non-Christian" type man,some women have to be "on guard" with how they dress,talk,etc even if there's absolutely no visible signs of any flaunting the bod,and etc,etc..I don't need to go into a 101 course on attraction laws,lol but you know what I'm meaning I hope...I am well to the point I don't wear anything that lets cleavage show and if I have a tank top on that drops down for whatever reason..ie:playing ball,just simply bending over to pick something up,the Lord has beckoned me to fix it right away and I'm noticing stuff like that is happening more@old fashioned lady ettiquette...but at the same time i've also decided I'm not going to go around dressed in jeans in the summer with a sweater on and a shawl type thingie covering my head just to minimize someonelese's "desires"...i have never been into skimpy shorts with high heels or what the wordly man finds "good looking" right now..as a matter of fact,i normally try to not draw attention to myself..and if I feel I am,i disappear..i would feel extremely comfortable even in this day and age in a maxi-dress or saddle shoes(and looked for a pair last year,hahaha, with a poofy skirt,lol..remember those? ..On a serious note,yes,I have had plenty of people who wronged me and I the same..That's also another course,Forgiving,learning and moving on 101..The issues I speak of have very little to do with forgiving as my nature is to forget about the whole issue normally in roughly 10? minutes or so after it's happened..Life is way too short for me to spend more than a few minutes grrrr'ing over someonelse's actions...I have to answer for my own and they do too..There's alot of change in my life at the moment,as it's seemingly always been that way for as far back as I can remember in my life but I also feel the pressure of the End Times and know what I have to do to get to Heaven...Like the other day when we was talking about us getting together and going witnessing some day:) Like when I asked someone in the chatroom the other day about Bible camps for toddlers...That is what I want to do with the rest of my life..Make a difference,in a good way finally,for the rest of my days...of course it's not always going to be good or peaches and cream..That's reality as long as I'm here on this Earth..BUT in the meantime,I have a right to laugh,love without fear of anything whatsoever,(and that comes through God)make mistakes but na forbid,they are never knowingly at the expense of others so I guess yeah,I don't have much compassion for people who even after knowing,are out to tax someonelse's spirituality,livelihood,or pursuit of their dreams and happiness by their own selfish desires..Maybe someday God will strengthen that part of me but for now,whose to say,he may not be doing that because He knows what a doormat I can be when I truly open up myself to people..Life is just what I see as basic training,a military camp of sorts before we get to Heaven and so we can go there...I'm going to end this for now..Much I put in here was stuff I intended for my testimony I've been putting off because I don't feel like going through the same information again as it's an abundance..Like alot of folks lives@where theyve been,what theyve been through,where their going,etc,etc..Another thing I have did for as long as I can recall is autmomatically go back and check for spelling errors,make sure my thoughts are down right(2nd guessing myself),wanting approval from others without realizing it at the time until I took an in depth look at everything,EVEN in a journal where the whole point is to BE yourself and let all those thoughts,ugliness,beauty,dreams,etc come out so we CAN be free inside..i told myself a couple weeks ago I'm going to stop doing all that because that's wasting too much of my time and if i didnt have the thoughts,they probably wouldnt make it to the net(journals,etc),so I'm working hard on just "free-writing" and moving on.Much strength,spiritual strength is needed to keep moving forward in this world,not looking back so that's my goal for the next couple weeks..Just let all the good,bad and ugly come out..Kinda like I had to do in A.A. years ago but I quit because of their "anyone can be your God" philosophy but the whole overall idea of just flowing free and ridding yourself of inside garbage current and past is healthy for sure...This weeding program has been another great help and I'm positive the Lord led me here and I'm hoping to the church in my community..The one thing I do notice is whenever I try justfiying maybe i shouldnt be somewhere,it's usually God wanting me to be there and just the Holy War going on...Ok,i'm off here...My son wants online now...God bless everyone and have a wonderful Tuesday:)

[mlg]

Just stopping by to say good morning sis and may your day be filled with those things that are pleasing to the Lord...Time to go to work for me.

luv ya

[jamisfaithnjoy]

Just an outta nowhere seemingly thought I had the other day.."Loving you is like loving an iceberg"..i don't know the full reason why but it just came to me because I had been thinking about how stubborn I can be and have been lately...ok,so the stubborness lately is for a good and very justifiable reason@it taps into my spiritual walk with the Lord but overall,I've just learned to be that way..After my last relationship(a good example if someone's paying close attention and in a relationship not married that it mostly ends up disatrous and you end up like me"colder than ice" towards deep,true love with someone),I just looked back and thought about how many years I had wasted of dedicating myself,constantly and consistently being there for someone,pouring the very core of my heart out,TRUSTING that they had my best interests in mind as I had had his,FAITHFULNESS-I was very much ok with he was always on the road with the band and/or at work and I was working and doing whatever I did because at heart,I'm a "freebird" BUT I surely didn't go out and get knocked up with twins! even(like my then fiance did me)..that's all in the past though.im not going to share that right now..and all the blatant DISHONESTY..is that REALLY so hard to do?...I've did it my whole life for the most part BEFORE i became a Christian and either put my dishonesty out there right away to save others from having to be hurt later oR play detective with me...Because I screwed up,did not mean someonelse had to sit in wonder or ponder..Me,on the other hand,have pretty much always had to play the detective garbage..so that sucked alot of (love) life out of me..Too many years of that..I'm getting to the point I don't give very much of a real conversation up with "someone" and something told me to stay like that(he ended up lying about something extremely trivial,to me,the other day).So I told him,"you lied about something like this,you think I should believe much you say in the future?"..the,"do you love me?"...i say,"what's that got to do with what im saying?"...Oh,now im being an "iceberg" and getting the look that says so...And i find myself reading the book,left for someonelse here,by his mom,called Men are from Mars,Women are from Venus" or something like that..it's in the other room and i get a few pages into it and realize something...what that book is saying IS true if you're looking at it from a human aspect@how to get what you want out of a relationship and im pretty certain,that's the subtitle on it too...An actual book written about what a problem is,what each individual should do about it,how each one's going to react to a problem or just something negative in the relationship and KAZAAM..this is what you do to get what YOU want to happen out of it which it doesnt stop short of sex for men and emotional closeness for women..the 2 things it claims both want more than anything in a nutshell..Again,true im sure for wordly standards and worldy people so if that works for you,read it BUT i'll let you in on a little secret...All the reading in the world on that book will Not work with me..Not because I took psychology at 16..Not because I've always(prior really trying to get right in my walk with the Lord days i was and am and will always be going through from here on out)read that kinda "self-help" stuff too but..would sit and wonder why after a bazillion courses and studying,nothing major ever changed,hmmmm......Is it because I'm VERY set in my ways,EXPECT respect,honesty,faithfullness,loyalty and a dozen other OLD FASHIONED ways,that this world seems to have forgotten exists!...Ok,so do I do this perfectly all the time,no,im sure I don't BUT i TRY to in the 1st place..But back to that book and the tons out there like it that if their so great and people read them,why aren't more couples ALOT happier together or at least generally can say their happy.(both parties if taken aside and asked honestly)..He says,"Here we go again"...I say,"well,if you didn't keep doing it,I wouldn't have to repeat myself" but you know..that's where the problem lies I think>.WHY am i repeating myself?..Is my intelligence slipping?Is my faith that there IS a good,old fashioned,honest,respectful,faithful,loyal,hard working in whatever he does,humorous,fun like likes to get out and do things and can convey that without being prompted often type of person,non-squanderer when the money IS there because he BELIEVES we cannot take anything(money,materialism,etc with us when we "go") exist?..This is an extreme cliche for myself..When were single,were beyondddd bored,lonely and just want to "be with someone" BUT when we get them,we resort back to our old ways?? ..It's the ole,"if i showed my real self up front,who would want me?"...well,work on that REAL flawed self some(where relationship qualities are neccessary for it to survive HAPPILY)BEFORE seeking a relationship..Man,I know ive said some seriously hateful things the last few days 'round here but their 100% true...WHAT were offered and what we get are sometimes 2 totally and completely different things in the long run or even the short run,lol...2 things I cannot spell out clearly enough for any gal or guy that is strengthening their bond with Christ and desiring that type of life and at the same time looking for that special someone whether online or offline or both..do NOT assume because you're a Christian,they are also..It is said to not yoke(get with,date,marry,even really hang around) with a non-believer in God..Ok,so you meet someone..They were raised in church,they do believe in God but "havent been to church in a long time"...Did you find out why they havent been?..I will vouch for that it IS very difficult to find a church nowadays that goes strictly by the Bible and sets that example(the only kind i personally am willing to attend and have been through a couple myself already)BUT if their not coming up with an answer that is anywhere near that(i learned this unfortunately in hindsight),you should question it and set your feelings of loneliness,etc aside..Here's an example of sorts...(true story)I was raised Baptist but my mom was raised Protestant..when I was 19,I was introduced to Christianity..Now,i didn't and still don't know a thing about the differences between most religions that claim to all worship a God and many Jesus as far as their doctrine goes,etc,etc..ie:..what people actually told me when I was trying to figure all the specifics out with following a Godly type life...."dont live like a Catholic...drink beer all week then straighten up on Sunday"...And of course,alot presume,if you're a Christian you are perfect,trying to be or expect everyonelse to be..NOT true..What attracted me to Christianity in the 1st place is watching how my grandma(my called adopted one) conducted herself...She always told me EVEN IF you sin,don't ever try to use parts of the Bible and twist it to fit your lifestyle or how you want to live..Accept it in FULL and get repentence when you mess up,just face what you've done,ask the Lord for forgiveness and get on with the show basically....and don't look back..that's what the enemy wants us to do@stew in our past "bads" to ourselves and others..But again,back to what my original point was...IF you meet someone and they say,like their a Baptist and you know you're a Christian and you find yourself talking about God alot and they rarely,if ever,mention Him,RED FLAG!!!!!!!!!!...You are on 2 totally different desirability levels for the Lord and THAT in itself will eventually suck you down to where their at as well..Ok,so Ive heard someone say before,"it depends on where you're at in your walk with God"...Ummm,no it does not...If i listen to worldy rap music(which is normally straight filth) and you're around me everyday listening to it as well OR you're a Christian but start going with a Jehovah's Witness to their church,UNLESS you're God hisself or a zombie,that will have an effect on you,your spirituality and everythingelse eventually...Don't do as I did and have caught myself doing too@think by enough prayer that they will "convert" or over time they will come to see how great you feel inside and your blessings that come(if you have any)and THEY will desire him..I did that in my last relationship and the guy was a Catholic and with no active interest in the least bit come to find out in the Lord..But I 'loved" him so I stuck it out..God shut his hand down hard on that eventually and burned that book right up!..I think God knew(naturally)well before I did,there wasn't a chance on this Earth of that ever turning into anything good before it caused me to walk away from him completely so he picked up my shambled little,totally distraught then,teary-eyed self and gave me a new "home" in Him and warned me to never go too far out of the "yard" again per se..Well,right now I don't feel I've left the "yard"(as my clarity is ALOT greater having gone through all that before)BUT God knows sometimes I teeter pretty close to the fence,that He has since put an "electric zapper" on just in case I go fully back to my "i can do it myself" ways and want to climb over it.I guess in the other house(lifestyle and relationship),I didn't see the alligators waiting on the other side.(non-christian guys with no interest at all in the Lord Jesus).I see them now though and am trying to figure out if they don't care at all about the Lord,while I'm holding one of them painful bb guns just in case they ever come on my side before God gives them permission to and thats after He feels their ready).So I tell God,"But it's boring and gets really lonely over there with them gators sitting over there just staring at me and not talking most of the time and I'm tired of playing with these toys you gave me to keep my busy"(items such as a pc,pots and pans to cook,rags to clean(i love cleaning,lol)...He sternly looks at me and says,"Now my child.Listen up.You weren't happy with the gators in the yard.You said and I saw they were tormenting you and try to eat up the toys i gave you so you could keep busy when they were when you wouldn't play their gators game.So I asked them to behave,they would not.I went through you to show them me.They turned you away.I showed you a new house with a much smaller yard that was completely empty and very unclean for now but there were no gators there.You said you didn't want that either.Now you have a few choices here..Stay in the yard and play with your toys and talk with me when you have a concern or just need "someone to listen".They gators will not harm you,I've made sure of that".."But Lord?When I first saw them,they were nice and always wanted to play with me and listened to me tell them stories about you."..The Lord looks at me and states,"They never knew me.They were nice to you because they wanted something I gave them but they abused it@animal instinct-P.I.).I said,"WHAT??So that really IS it huh?"..He said,"Yes."..By this time,i was not only a little hurt,I was VERY angry..I say,"So they didn't really want to be my friend or care/love me?"...He says,"they don't know HOW to in the way that I've shown you,yet."...So I looked to the sky and asked,"When is that going to happen or will it even?"...He looks right back at me but with LOVE and says,"Yes,it will happen but probably not when you want it to or are expecting them to.You will not know what to do with it once you see it anyways because you have not listened to me and let me(Him)run this show.Besides that,I AM teaching them to LOVE in my(His) way so they too,someday,can learn to serve me and others through me as well."....Ahhhh,I get it Lord....So do you have me here to be just their friend or something?...The Lord says,"I give you free will.You may do whatever you want BUT you will stop treating them lesser than EVEN WHEN you're highly angry because I get HIGHLY angry with you too and do not shut myself away from you.Learn to love as I do,regardless of their faults or that some eye you sexually as a meal."WHEN i'm done with them,they too,will know all that you do...Did you learn everything I've shown you in a couple weeks?"..But Lord,I don't have the patience for this..God picks me up ever so gently and sets me on his shoulder and tells me to look at the butterflies...how fragile,yet content and beautiful they are having nothing but the whole world in front of them and very much at peace...He brings to my attention their happiness..A stark contrast to the gators Im thinking...God hears my every thought..He one last time for that hour,tells me,"the gators are over there and you are here..Let them eat.You're not doing without anything and if they try to get out of their fence,they won't get very far either.I've brought you both to this place for a reason."...I think for a sec ive lost my faith because of the way ive been behaving and the things ive been saying and doing but alas...the Lord is STILL standing there..He hasnt went anywhere and I'm ok...and somehow,strangely happy in the midst of the unknown...PRAISE GOD

[Mackenaw]

Could I get some fries with that?

Love,
Mack

[jamisfaithnjoy]

Check out the message in the Cool Message Board area..Replies appreciated in the poll area of the message. Thank you and God Bless You always , Jami

[jamisfaithnjoy]

not sure if it was you Brandon or you and God's other helpers)

Just wanted to comment on this particular spot I perused through before I'm logging off here..

FRIENDS

The foundation of friendship is based on TRUTH which establishes TRUST.
Our relationship requires a good foundation based on trust to withstand the trials and tribulations that we will encounter and endure TOGETHER on this spiritual journey.

LOVE IS BLIND ... BUT FRIENDSHIP, IS CLAIRVOYANT....



And do my own personal shoutout to the people that I do trust and love and would with any secret on the face of this Earth..and the Earth is a very big place..and I also give glory to God in the highest that I don't have to walk through a life with secrets or fear of anything really..Ok,so the 5 snakes my son caught yesterday made me a little jumpy but the point is..The Lord has brought me to a place to where I can with much ease know who I can trust with ANY information I deem private and personal(possibly 3 including my mom) and probably could not...Whose really trying to give helpful advice and from the heart and who also is struggling in their walk with the Lord at times and who has forgotten that God is the Lord of Lords and King Of Kings and needs to be prayed for..Everyone needs prayed for..I don't care how rich,poor,deserving or undeserving..And most of us know there are people we would rather not pray for(until GOD reminds us we better or else)because they do us wrong...As much as we love,worship and would not trade the Lord for a single thing of or in this world,it is soooo hard sometimes to remember...GOD is in control..always and forever AND only<.....We are not the driver of this vehicle called life...Pull over and tell your friends what God has done for you today...And if you had a crappy day,share that too...When God is here,there nothing to fear...and he is >always< here,forever..Doesnt leave us for a second...

[mlg]

Amen and He is never too busy...He always wants to hear what is going on with us.

luv ya sis

[jamisfaithnjoy]

I just finished working a little more on my testimony and the area I just posted about is making me feel not very good at all physically right now..I knew it would be stressful to talk about it but I didnt think it would make me feel like this,ack..So I had to take a break from it for right now..I have not much time to finish dinner too so I best be going offline for awhile...Love everyone and have a great Friday evening. God bless

[jamisfaithnjoy]

I just finished up posting an entry on the faithful friends link on here seeing basically who on here,if anyone,is actually looking to make a real friend or 2.I set out to do that when I first found this site but so far,it hasnt happened yet aside from one person calling a couple times but repeatedly told me they would rather we texted and I disagreed@like keeping things real-voice,face,etc.So with any luck,the Lord will bring actual real friends into my life that would rather talk on the phone and visit in person,laugh,hug ,play cards,crochet together,go to park trails,holiday shop maybe,etc. and stuff.I'm sure there has to be someone out there that has more "old school" in them than "new school" other than coming online to look for people that use the net as I do,more like an old fashioned personal ad in a newspaper..You place the "ad",someone replies and then you're on the phone,then going out for coffee or tea, not getting the friendships stalled on here . God bless you sweetie and you have a wonderful Thursday

p.s.This message was originally to someone who used the comment area on my profile but after hitting send,I was told they cannot receive messages through the messaging system so I'm figuring this must be on my mind more than I was really aware before a 1/2 hour ago,when I wrote 3 entries and/or messages about it...I have also thought about locking my journals up because although so far,I have not really gotten ill repute over something I typed in my own journal area regarding my topics of interest,how I look at things or anything at all that's going on in my life,etc..there's always a tendency for someone to read my journal,and this has happened once in chat already and to be quite frank,that's why I really don't get into it much anymore,someone sitting on the other side of a computer,that started out to be what looked like a good friend on here and I guess had been coming to this site for awhile according to their join date,not only made what was a very unneccessary,pretty rude and yes,THOUGHTLESS comment to me regarding what was at the time and had been ongoing,a situation I was needing serious guidance AND a then continual "ear" on,whether the situation was changed or not..THAT was all in God's timing,not a result of someone,sorry to go there,but well liked "hot shot" that had apparantly gotten a little too "holier than thou" along the way on the journey here..And yes,I know Christians have flaws,etc,etc,etc..I dont need a sermon on that BUT for those of you who ARE reading this,my personal blog in my area,keep in mind that not every new person that comes to this site is going to handle the situation like I did(@realize the person who makes me not even want to go into chat when I see their name there and normally dont in a long time,chuck it up to their pedestal's too high for anyone to reach them(if I wouldve tried to talk to them about how their one comment hurt me and changed my view on how many,if any,actual real friends it's even possible to make on here) and that's the facts..I'm going to tell you what someone who has NO walk in Christ would've done had they came on here looking for advice for their life and obviously was still suffering from it so it got repeated to many different people in chat and they were trying to help..if ONE person would've said to them WHILE they were still suffering,"You're talking about THAT again?I thought we already talked about that" and they were NOT the one you were even talking to..going to blurt something so rude and clearly in no way shape or form helped the situation and I am quite sure with the Lord above me,they 200% knew,there was nothing nice about their comment OR Christian like and they thoughtlessness was not only,again,used at a time this person was suffering,it was "in front of" plenty of others in the chatroom...So yeah...I vent my little heart out in my journal areas..Thats what their for..Our TRUE selves to come out so we can either heal or just babble our hearts out,like I tend to do and enjoy doing sometimes also BUT,and for those of you,that have made comments about my views that everyone yes,deserves respect and coming from other Christians,true ones that is,should get it..The overall damage that was brought on far as my attitude about how possible it would even be for me to make a real friend from here let alone from the chat area,is a reflection of how ALL of us,as Christians,whether you've been here 5 years or 5 days...have a responsibility in GOD to be there for our fellow man and/or woman...NOT chastise them,JUDGE them or worse yet...say something to totally change their life for the worst(i will type an incident that happened,supposed,not verified yet,to a gent that had attended for over 30+ years in my actual church that because of the PASTOR'S one single act and a concern for what others in the church would think,totally left this man's life in nothing less than absolute wreckage)..For me,it's not too hard to believe that,according to many I have met in day to day life and had this discussion with that only 144,000 people will make it through the gates of Heaven..For me it's not an option to make it to Heaven..I will and DO allow God to deal with the best,worst(and the worst is most always a result of someonelse's selfish,inhumane in wordly or Christian like actions),tolerant and intolerant sides of me and there are many..The tolerant ones I am very thankful for because it allows for me to be the most real person I can be so I can reach people at a very real level..Real people with real problems and yes,alot of them,stuck in a vicious cycle with some sort of problem or addiction...The intolerance, of people who just dont think before speaking,typing or whatever to someone really trying to stay close to God in times where things are almost impossible to keep and nothing stays the same and it is VERY SCARY AND REAL to many,how about we all just do this...stay away from the person who clearly is struggling and just read their blogs,which I oft see,and choose to respond to the ones who dont require so much "work"..Let's see how far that gets us when our number's called someday@turning our backs on God's most needy and suffering this is totally trivial but if what we read in anyone's journal especially personal actually offends us,there is something in ourselves that isnt quite right with God..figure out what that is before getting all upset or taking it personal(unless you're like the one(s) being described) over what someone types.A true to heart,completely HONEST walk with God should allow folks to be able to read anything from someone's addiction to porn to a man or woman actively cheating on their spouse and not get a rise of emotion out of it beyond an inkling,if even,let alone develop any type of negative feelings towards that person and thankfully,there are a few like that(can see things from a non-personal standpoint and that allows them to be an effective helper in the Lord,that from time to time comment on my stuff..For everyonelse that hasn't quite "mastered" their walk with God and myself as well,I'll pray for

[mlg]

Wow, sis...I can relate to how you feel. It's hard to trust people with our private thoughts...that's why I just place whatever is on my heart in my journal and if people feel a need to go and discuss what they read in my journal...I've decided that too is between them and God because if they are out judging...then He will deal with them.

Now as far as that true friend goes...you have one beside you already...His name is Jesus...now before you go and say...yes but it's not the same as a person...well in fact it's better than a person...ever went flying on an airplane with the Holy Spirit? Oh my sister...it's so much fun...I'll have to share the story with you sometime....when I'm not on limited time.

And one more thing...I consider you a friend already...and I luv ya

[jamisfaithnjoy]

I've been tossing around the idea on whether to lock up my journal or not for various reasons.The one reason I am not locking it up is because I don't appreciate the feedback given,which many times has been overwhelmingly helpful without a doubt..The reassurance I am still cared about by some is shown just when they simply take the time out to comment even if they don't have ideas for things i write about that could or could not be done differently or input,Holy Ghost given,that definitely makes a difference in my life.I will pray for guidance as to whether I should still comment in other people's journals until they make it apparant they want it to be just what it is,a personal journal,where you jot down your thoughts,as you would if you had pen and paper and keeping a real diary.So that's all for that part of this entry.I have to find a movie to watch and then I'm going to try to lock my personal journal area up.I've been thinking it will make it easier for me to be more "free-willed" to just jot down anything that comes to mind instead of,when it's open,I sometimes feel if I put down something,it's subject to open scrutiny.I think anyone with a serious walk in the Lord or trying their butts off should be involved in some sort of "counseling" because I sure know for me the Holy War going on in my life,everyonelse's lives,on here,offline,anywhere really and many times you get it from all ends,can and will drive you clinically nuts WITHOUT Jesus being the main focal point.lately,I've been slacking in that respect so right now,I'm just going to try different things out and see what works for me.I will know by the responses my friends message me,which I do ask that..if I'm babbling about something you feel guided by the Lord..to help me with,please do message me..I have a friend on here I haven't actually met yet but I love her to no end and try to refrain from posting in her journal when it comes to more serious matters lately simply because I honestly don't think it helps all people to reply that way..if you know them and truly care about them,it's just my theory that a personalized,private message is much appreciated..Kinda like when you actually receive a real live piece of mail from someone in your mailbox at your house or p.o. box..My mom doesnt bother with the computer and she does write me from time to time a real letter and it makes my day,it really does...i usually save them unless it's just a "here's $(blank),I hope this helps you,Love mom"..In the many,many,many very poor areas of my life my mom would send me a buck or two when she could and although it wasnt much,it just brought a warmth inside that she did that because after 18,you're parents dont really have to do anything they dont want to..But she's not going to be here forever,so I'm going to try to make more of an effort to save even those types of mail just because their from her..Boy,I can babble but you know what?ive been told many times a "babbler" is pretty smart,hmmm..Good..if im pretty smart,i need to put this smoking habit down for once and for all before it puts me down..I pray for this daily practically..please pray for me to about it..God bless, Jami