Christianity Oasis Forum

[JQuad]

Goin to try this 14 Day Journal for healing. Need to talk about these things or I feel my head is going to blow. Mostly because I have no one to talk to. I pray alot but I feel sometimes I also need someone to talk to about these multiple problems. What is bothering me is that I have been married three times and in all three marriages my wife has cheated multiple times. All have ended in divorce. My last marriage when my wife told me she had sex with another man, had what my doctor called a stress related breakdown. I never had one before and it was totally debilitating. It has been a year now and I feel about 80% better. Was placed on disibility from my job as a truck driver and still on disability. I still feel from these divorces the hurt, pain(mental and physical), anger(betrayal), sadness. I think alot about what is wrong with me, that this keeps happening to me. Through these marriages I work extremely hard to be an outstanding husband. To be loving, compassionate, hard working, supportive. I'm not trying to say I have been perfect, I may have said the wrong thing at the wrong time or raised my voice a few times out of frustration(never name calling or belittling). But I have always believed when you take your marital vows that cheating is not just breaking them but one of the most hurtful acts you could possibly do to your spouse. It never seemed to bother them in this way. All of them actually tried to blame me for what they did. I realize that they were not really christian women (although they say they are, no fruit of the spirit).
Now I have very little money and had to move back in with my parents at the age of 37 and still dont have anyone to talk to. The strange thing is I still feel that I would love to have a good christian wife someday. But still have a way to go to be healthy and self sufficiant again. These are my basic thoughts, but a ton more things about these marriages still rattling around in my head.

[Ditto]

for u

Love in Christ
Julia

[mlg]

Hello JQuad, welcome to the Oasis...we are so glad you are here. The counseling steps are wonderful, and they will help you with the healing you seek.

I too went through a very similiar situation as you about 7 years ago now. I too had to move in with my parents as I had nothing left except a few clothes, my daughter, and my car. But what amazingly happened was that as time passed, I found something better than anything I had ever had in my life...and that was a relationship with God. I have now placed Him as the center of my life...and I can say I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. I too have done the counseling steps twice...and I will say they will help you grow closer to God as well as get past the past that is holding you down.

Praying for you on this walk.

Come visit us sometime in the chatroom.

Take care and God Bless

[momof3]

Hi, JQuad and welcome to Oasis. So glad you are here. The Holy Spirit knows what He is doing in leading you here to do these steps.

This journey you are taking now isnt gonna be easy, but you will find healing. Dont give up. He's with you every step of the way and wants to show you some things. Im so sorry you have had to go through the things you have..there is, however, a plan in this..and healing and restoration for you soul and spirit waiting for you within the Truth in these steps.

God bless you, JQuad...take one step at a time and know that not only will we walk this path with you, He will too.

looking forward to watching what He has in store for you.

in Jesus,
luv momo

[Dora]

Hi JQ

I feel your frustration and heart ache. Seems like life has you in a rut. A very unpleasant and maybe even depressing rut.

I will be praying for God to pull you out of this rut and bless you greatly as He sees fit. His good and perfect will be done.

Reach for the hope that a God who loves you has good plans for your future.

Love ya!

[JQuad]

I want to thank you all for your uplifting words and prayers. Today I actually felt much better. I know this is just a small step in feeling better menally and physically, but am going to continue to work on this. Today I didn't really think much on these problems but to do a little concentrating on me. Still learning how to get around on the site but did some reading of others posts. How my heart goes out to those of you who share these pains. I want to get back to the way I used to be so I also can help others. Please Keep The Prayers Coming, I sure need them. Love ya all.

[mlg]

Hey JQuad...I smiled when I read your words just now...not only to see you feeling a bit more encouraged...but to read that you want to get better so you can help others....oh my friend there is so much we can do to help others...seems like the world is full of hurt and pain...but as you heal you will find that Jesus is really all you need to be whole again...and when you find Him near...you can share Him with others I can't wait to see where God leads you.

Keep working on the steps. The site is a large site...but you can't break anything here...so just look around and click buttons...cuz you will find some great things to do here.

Have a great evening!

Take care and God Bless

[momof3]

I do believe this is how God works...through the situations in our lives...leading us through, by His grace and healing..and reaching out to someone else who is hurting and needing the same comfort and truths we have been given by Him.

Keep going, bro. One day at a time.

in Jesus,
luv momo

[Dora]

You brought me a smile.

Keep on...you'll do just fine!

[JQuad]

Feelin even better today. This is a wonderful feeling and a great blessing to have these problems in my head to start to go away. Felt very positive today and actually accomplished a few things I have been putting off. Love and prayer does work. I am starting to see better light and more clearly. This is why they alway say "go into the light". I want to take better care of my garden and Love more than I ever have loved before. Thank all of you with much love and appreciation my brothers and sister in Christ. Still got much work to do so lets keep on trucking down that golden road.

[mlg]

JQuad, I love the new avatar Soooo cool

Yep, being a Christian is a lifetime of work...but with each passing day we can look at it as an opportunity to do something even better for Christ. I'm so glad you are beginning to feel better...and you are getting up doing things....God is smiling...I know He is. The path isn't always going to be easy in life...and you will encounter bumps along the way...but with God by your side...those bumps will last only seconds compared to what they would last if you were trying to go around them on your own. I agree JQuad...keep on trucking my friend.

luv ya

[JQuad]

Wow todays stepping stone forgiving and forgiving one self. I've always known as a child of God to forgive and forget but I think I have obviously harbored these things that have happened to me. I thought I have forgiven until a similar situation popped up in a different relationship, then its like you relive all those same past situations and what an overwhelming stress it placed on me. Forgetting, I do feel much better starting this stepping stone process but I think it is going to take a little while to forget (I will work my hardest though). Forgiving myself, man thats a big one too. I feel alot of guilt about jumping into these relationships. I feel now that I never should have done this. I did have strong feelings in the beginning of each relationship that these women may have alot of emotional problems but I actually felt that if we got married and worked hard to being happy that they would realize that life is not that bad and have a happy life with me. I also did love them deeply. I now understand that things do not happen like in the movies where the man or woman marries the wonderful person and they live happily ever after. Actually the opposite did happen. I also harbor guilt for these relationships because what if one day in the future I meet a wonderful christian woman and she will ask about my past relationships. Once she is told the truth of me being married three times will she get up and run? I am going to work on forgiving myself and having an awesome relationship with God. Bless all for your prayers, they are working.

Jay