Christianity Oasis Forum

[merendarrin]

Okay, so I've got this friend who always has advice for his wife whenever she says, "Mom says...." His advice is, "Leave and Cleave, baby...leave and cleave." This, of course, is his way of saying "we're doing it my way and they way I was raised, not yours."

So I began thinking...in that verse (Genesis 2:24) it reads as follows:
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." I noticed there is only a reference to a man leaving his parents and cleaving to his wife, but there isn't any direction for the woman in this situation.

My question then is, if a man is to "leave and cleave", what is the woman to do?

Thanks for all of your wisdom and help!

GBU, Darrin

[Dora]

Hi ya Darrin Nice to meet you.

My thoughts on leave and cleave is for a man and a wife to become their own person. To throw off the personalities of their parents that may be holding them back from being who they (as in the married couple) were created to be in the perfect union of Christ.

Not so much about ideas of who's right or wrong over how to make a decision.

I'll use my relationship as an example. My husbands family would blurt out any thing they felt like saying. My family rarely spoke. Neither family had the best fit for a marriage. Coming together we crashed a lot. I didn't speak up and I found his truth rather harsh and unloving. Make for a ruff beginning. Now we've learned to consider our words in love and respect, each of us in the way in which we needed to grow. We "left" our upbringing and cleaved to each other instead of what we knew from before, forming our own unique style.

I would suggest to your friend to find different words to use. Instead of "mom says...", maybe try "I am wondering if..." Leaving moms name our of it completely. This should stop the "leave and cleave from being tossed back at her."

Patience, forgiveness, and love is key to a growing marriage.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Darrin

So good to see and to hear from you again. I hope all is well with you and yours.

Interesting question, Darrin. You know, throughout the scriptures it speaks of families whereas they all lived together -- dads, moms, sons and their wives, daughter and their husbands -- so a lot of them didn't leave a location. Sorta like the "further vs farther" thang. Farther being measure of distance, and further representing degree of change. So, change of mindset -- whose in charge, or ultimately responsible for making decisions -- in line with God, no doubt.

Even in Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot had his wife, and his two daughters and their two husbands living with him. Kind of interesting that Lot's two son-in-laws chose to stay in Sodom and Gomorrah instead of leaving with their wives, and vice-versa. I would say that God's Authority reigns supreme. Yeah!!!

And it speaks about Simon Peter and his brother, Andrew, living together in the same house. Peter was married, and it appears his mother-in-law lived with them too. (read Mark 1:29-30).

I would think that women were under the authority of their dads until they married -- meaning their dads were held responsible for their daughters' well-being until they were married, and then the authority and responsibility would be transferred over to the husband.

Without knowing your friends, I would say that if a situation called for a decision to be made, and they differed in opinions, that the husband would have final say -- no matter what her mom said. But again, without knowing them or their walk or whatever, I can't comment on their situation -- I can only comment on what The Word of God says.

The Word of God is Spirit, and if a man, or a woman, uses it in defense of a worldly stance or ideology or personal and prideful gain -- it ain't gonna fly.

Really interesting question, thank for bringing here. I'm really enjoying reading the responses, and hope others will contribute too.

God bless you.
Love,
Sister Mack