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Step one of the 14 days program

Postby Kashira » Sat Jul 05, 2008 9:02 pm

Well this is step one of the program. I'm pretty much venting if that's not a problem. Im pretty much mad and angry all of the time. Esepcially at school when I am by myself. I see others with friends or other girls who have boyfriends. I really dont have any friends in real life. I just come here and talk with people and what not. I feel as if no one really likes me because they dont like me for a gf type of way. Many have called me ugly in the past and sometimes I do think of myself as ugly because of what has happened. I'am going to be a Senior and school here starts around the end of August. My mom is making go to both homecoming, and prom. I really dont want to go sometimes because Im afraid I wont have a good time. Also because I cant dance. I figure that no one will ask me and I don't have any friends to go with either. Besides when I do go the person Im with always has a date and Im left by myself. And I always end up beating myself up over it because Im always alone. I hate that feeling. It has happened every time. It feels as if nothing is going to change. No one ever asks me out, or anything. My family is split up. I eat lunch by myself at school. Even this Assitant principal asked me one time where are all my friends. I just wanted to cry right there but I didnt because it would be pointless. To me it seems crying doesnt change anything either. I feel as if I lost my touch with making my Anime Music Videos. I guess its because of this new program I have is really hard to use. My old one was ok but no one really notices me at all. They just notice the other people with better programs. No one pays attention to me it seems. Especially when it comes to amvs. I feel like im not good enough for people to make them for when they ask for a request. I havent made one in a long time. I guess its because its really hard to use this other program I need to get myself noticed. Maybe even that wont make a difference in my life. All I ever wanted is at least one friend in real life thats a guy who will be there for me. I cant even receive that. I always have to have friends on here. Online. Well not that its bothersome cause Oasis is awesome. I just wish things would change already. I know people of God are supposed to be patient and all but I have so much hard time with that. I've always wanted at least 1 true friend but I dont even have that either. I don't know what's going to happen my senior year. Hopefully it will go well. I still think no one's gonna ask me to prom or homecoming for that matter. Or ask me out period. They only go for the pretty girls. They fail to see personality. T_T. Thanx for reading. I hope people will comment. Thanx for reading. - Kashira. *Guitar*
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Postby SimplyBreezy » Sat Jul 05, 2008 9:47 pm

Dear Kashira

Hello, I want to first start by doing this *hug* and to let you know that you are are not in this world alone, many go through this feeling that they are not worthy of love or of finding happiness.
Don't let what others say to you bring your spirit down, because that is just what the enemy wants to have happen, he likes for you to feel unworthy and unlovable, you can't let him win by giving him that satisfaction, don't do it. Fight it, and live life doing what the Lord wants of you, not what humans want of you.
The Lord blesses those that truly believe in His love and His grace. That reward is great, a feeling like none of us have ever felt before, that TRUE love that only He can give us.
The reason many of us as humans find trouble in searching for that perfect someone is because many in the world only look outside the box instead of inside the heart of the person. Truly the only impressions we should be trying to make are the ones to impress our Lord and the rest He will handle.
Patience takes time to learn, and with that patience comes understanding and wisdom from the Lord. He loves you so much that He died for you, so just give Him just a little bit of time to make things work in your life. It may not be the exact way you want things to happen on YOUR timing, but on HIS. He knows what is BEST for us, even when we think we do, He always does what will be best for our lives in the end. The sacrifice we have to make to give Him that time is little compared to the sacrifice HE made for us. Time dear one, time is all you need to give Him, and your faith that you trust and believe in Him completely.
Believe in positive things, and positive things WILL happen, keep your faith in Him, your eyes completely on Him, no one and nothing else, and Hi s plan WILL take action. Trust Him.

Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. Psalms 37:3-5

Have a blessed evening and keep on the steps, you are doing great. *hug*

Sincerely,

Breezy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is short, so forgive quickly. Believe slowly. Love truly.

Without God, our week is: Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday,
Fightday, Shatterday and Sinday. So, allow Him to be with you every
day!
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Postby angel27 » Sat Jul 05, 2008 11:04 pm

Kashira,
I am so glad that you are doing this study. This is a step in the right direction. After our talk the other night I felt so much love for you because I was you 30 something years ago. One of the things I learned in life was that God makes us beautiful. It just takes another beautiful person to recognize it. Sometimes it is hard to see our Godlight shining through us to bring that inner beauty to the surface if we are always cutting ourselves down. So Stop It! Like I said the other night, look for the things that you like about yourself and stop focusing on the negative. you are doing exactly what others do when they see you. They look at the negative and that is because that is what you are putting out there. God can see your inner beauty and it is real. It will never fade. It will bring the true beauty to light if you let it. so hang in there. I will keep praying for you.
In His love,
Angel27 *Halo*
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Postby mlg » Sun Jul 06, 2008 8:36 am

Kashira *hug* I know life can be very difficult at times. Especially when you become a senior in high school. This becomes the year of choices and decisions. This is when life truly begins, at the end of this year. I know you have had a tough time through high school, and the feeling that noone wants to be your friend, makes things even more difficult. First I want you to realize that Satan is lieing to you and telling you this, so that you will believe it. There is nothing wrong with having friends online, even though I know you feel the need to have real time companionship. God will provide that companion in His time. You just have to be patient and wait for His time. Sometimes we want His time to hurry, but God doesn't want us to be that way.

I also want to share with you, that someone having not asked you out yet, isn't really such a big deal. My best friend in high school, never dated until her second year of college, when she met her husband, and then she married him. It was actually a blessing for her not to have dated until after highschool. So don't think you are missing out on something, just search out God, make Him your best friend, become closer to Him, and let the other things in life fall into place in their time.

Praying for you.

Take care and God Bless
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