Christianity Oasis Forum

[Danacovertiscool]

Hello, my friends. I feel I'm called to be on the forums to give advice. After the main issue I got resolved that I came here for advice for, I WAS going to leave, but, a member: dema convinced me to stay. She really made me realize I may be called to be here. And she's right. I really appreciate that. I'm here to encourage, and give advice. So, I'm here to stay. That's my calling.

[dema]

A lot of times what people want is to be heard. There are online courses in learning how to listen. Many times all people want is for someone to tell them that they are okay - that the way they feel is okay. I give a lot of advice (you know that) but I do also use questions and let people know that I believe that how they feel is normal and okay.

People don't come here every day looking for someone. They come here several times a month that I see. Maybe a couple a week. So it takes looking at the new posts every day to see if someone has come in and needs a kind word. But remember, telling them that they are welcome and asking them questions about themselves - gentle questions - is the best way to get started.

I've read some of the stuff on being a good listener - you might find some of it on the net and read it too.

[Danacovertiscool]

Question: why should I say it's okay if it's not really? And is it okay to say I understand if I don't really understand? I do t want to say something that isn't true. I want to be a good listener, AND good advice giver.

[mlg]

Glad you have decided to stay and see where God may lead you in His service. If you are willing, God will use us for his purpose.



Take care

[dema]

Something is always good, something is always okay. Find the something. Never lie. But if you keep asking questions, you will find something good. Start from the good.

[Danacovertiscool]

Okay. I will try that. Now, should I say,"I understand" even if I dont? I don't want to lie. I want to make them feel better about their life.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Danacovertiscool

God bless you this day.

God is so Good to give us compassion for our fellow man/woman and the trials that we, as humans, must endure in this lifetime. Sometimes we can empathize with them, because we have experienced the same circumstances. Other times, we have not experienced the same trial, however, we can sympathize -- recognizing and acknowledging the other person's emotional hardship. Either way, we can provide comfort and assurance by letting them know we heard them and will lift them up in prayer to our Lord in the name of Jesus, during our private prayer time with The Lord.

I hope this helps.

God bless and keep you,
Sister Mack

[Danacovertiscool]

So, basically let them know you have sympathy for them and that you'll pray for them. That's what I should do.

[dema]

And that you hear them. You can always be sorry that they are sad, sorry that they hurt. Even if you don't truly understand the reason why. You can know that somebody hurt them or something hurt them and be sorry for the hurt.