Christianity Oasis Forum

[ChildsCry]

Hey.

My son has autism..at the high end so that is good....we found out when he was 2 nd a half and not saying any words...we took him in and found out that he has it. it wasnt official though til he was in school..

We have had our ups and way downs....since he does get emotional when things are over bearing...he is a very sensitive boy and yet he can be brutal honest .

example.
In first grade, some of the kids were giggling about the teachers butt...she was sort heavy but not too heavy, but anyways..he over heard it and went up to the teacher and gave her a hug saying " I love your big butt". She of course thought it was the sweetest thing ever but i wanted to hide under a rock ....

Now that he is 10...well....preteen stage is driving me crazy. I tell you, he can be a lawyer with all the agrueing he does with us! Socially he still is behind some...but is getting A's and B's in normal kid class work. He is really smart...along with his mouth .....

My daughter has social issues as well...so she is getting support with that..shes not autistic but socially she might be. She is my sweetie,,,shes 9 but shes seems about 4 sometimes.

Sometimes i wonder if im autistic..emotionally im so disconnected and i hate change in anyway shape or form. Socially i have hard time at church or anywhere to make friends and such...

It could be that im wanting to have autism only to verifythis is why i act this way...cuz figureing out why is making me crazy for not knowing.

Anyways.......

[ChildsCry]

We had our son's IEP (individual education progress) today. He is doing really well with the work he has to do in class..he is struggling on the emotional side sometimes...when he gets overwhelmed and such.

His self talk is not good when he messes up....we try to encourage him all we can and show him so much love...but when he messes up he downs himself alot.

Im glad he has teachers to go to when he is like this. He talked about that he is happy he has a good support group....but later the teacher said that when she seems him at recess he is alone. (this is when he left to go to class.)

I really hope he doesnt end up like me.

[Ditto]

Hey Cry it is good your child is doing well in his education, and I pray he makes some friends soon.
I understand your heart and pain when it comes to your children. My oldest son, who is now 26 and on his way to prison, has always been slow, and not as old as he really is. Some (professionals) say it is a form of autism, than another says it is mild retardation, I fought for YEARS to get help for him, and even tho the school, counselors, etc... made it appear that they were helping...it was all a lie.
Kids were very cruel to him, I remember once when he was found cutting school...I personally took him into the counseling office and while we were waiting in the lobby...another kid, popular kid, football player... was sitting there with his girlfriend, and right in front of me...says to his GF...u see that kid there (referring to my son) I use to beat him up everyday last yr, laffin about how they (him and friends) would kick him in the head...I was devastated, for one reason my son never made me aware of these things...than another, I told my sons counselor and than went to the principle and told him what I had heard...their answer was...kids will be kids...and society wonders what went wrong when troubled youth choose to jump off the deep end, and do things like take a gun to school and kill people!!!
There is one thing I hope for your son, and it is that he has and keeps the loving heart you have

My son has finally received the help he needed for so so long and is much more comfortable with himself, even tho he was sentenced to prison, which seems so unfair and harsh, I know God has a plan for him and for all of my children

Love ya sis

praying still

Your friend for life

Julia

[ChildsCry]

Wow Ditto i didnt know he was in prison..i hope hes a okay one though even though i don tknow if any prison s safe?
I hope he stays safe though.

that has been a worry for me on how he will cope with life when he is older. Im sure if he had a routine, he might be okay...and as he matures..

That has to be hard though on you.

[Ditto]

well Jen...the difference with our sons, is one it seems you maybe in a better school situation than my kids have been, we have a very bad district here, unless they are straight A students or have no history of family probs, a lot of the kids are quietly swept under the rug.
Your son IS doing well as far as getting an education, and he has a better family situation than my oldest kids had during their younger years. My first husband was murdered, in 1986 and I basically raised my 3 oldest on my own, for many years. Even when I was in a relationship with my youngest kids dad, it was still like I was going it all on my own.
It was when I moved up here on this Mountain and met my neighbor (my husband now) that things started getting a lil better for me and my kids.
My son is safe, I truly believe this. There are differences in the types of prisons one can be sentenced to here in California, and he is also going to be in the same prison as his younger brother, and hopefully they will be in the same building. As far as I know, as of this day, Jack has not been moved from county jail to prison 'yet' he probably will be moved early friday morning. I sent a letter ahead of him, to his brother to let him know he is on his way.
In many ways JP is like the older of the 2, he is 13 months younger than Jack.
I continue to pray for you and yours

Love ya I do I do

Have a Beautifully Blessed Jesus Kinda Day!!!

[ChildsCry]

Yeah i hope we are giving him what he needs to suceed. He is truely a mommas boy..hopefully he will stear out of any trouble....He really wants friends and i wonder if some kids are just using him. He dug into his toybox and wrapped 5 gifts for friends ..he told me .."mom i PROMISED (..insert kids names) that i would get them a present!" So i let him pick some old toys out and he wrapped each one. I wonder sometimes if he is doing it only to make friends...and hopefully they arent using him for it.

He has a huge heart..sometimes its easily broken.

I do hope they do find eachother..how long do they have to be there?

I wonder if he is going to be an actor sometimes l

link to look at.. sending to your PM box

[Jen Reiter]

Hi childscry and ditto
I was scrolling through new comments and saw this and I am "starting" the journey involved with having a special needs child. My son just turned 3 and has sensory processing disorder and developmental delays (also been told could be higher functioning autism) He has a teacher come to our house once a week and a class with other similar children as him. It's been a journey, very difficult before I knew what was going on and when he was first in therapy services. Some days I would get so upset and angry and wonder "why me, why my child?" Thankfully those days are over...I have been praying for patience and this was God's way of answering my prayer by putting a situation in my life that made me more patient! It's just nice to know of some other moms on here going through something similar; it broke my heart to read how cruel some other kids can be and makes me worry about when my son is older some of the challenges he might have. FOr now I am taking him to playdates with some of my friends so he can be exposed to more "typically" developing kids.

[ChildsCry]

Hey Jen,

Cool name..my name is Jen too. heheh..
Yeah there will be hard times and frustrateing times but once you accept this is the challenge that you have to deal with and be okay with it..its more fun...seriously! They may have their strugglesbut then you know secrets of your son, that noone knows, and you will know his strengths ad weaknesses as well as he gets older. My son at 3 knew NO words at all other than mommy, or daddy..we had a chartof pics that he commuicated with. Other that it was pretty much a guessing game until we knew his language. Your son is still little..and he has so much to learn and he will grow big time in the next few years. Just continue to be patient with him and keep loving him for him not what he has (which im sure you do already). But yeah there will be hard times...but you and him will overcome it.
Does he have speech therapy or is it just normal teaching? My son had physical therapy, speech, and cogniative develepment.

hope this encourages you.

[Lionhearted]

wowzers .... i cannot believe how many boys are being "diagnosed" with some form of autism ... by son (now 21) was also said to be "autisic" and so was my cousin's son (now 23) ...

julia, my dear sister, how horrible it must have been to sit there and hear what you heard about your son being beaten up .... your a bigger woman than me because i probably would have ripped him a new one; and i know why .... because it was me, i was the punching bag of our school. both verbally and physically.

i had a boy kick me so hard once when i was getting off the school bus that i was bleeding when i got home (no, my mom or dad never phoned his parents or anything) ... we don't wanna makes waves ... sheesh.

anyway, i "sucked it up" because i knew it would break my mother's heart to find out how really "UN" popular i was; it's embarassing. by the time i went to highschool, the physical abuse stopped ... but the verbal increased and a new one started ... the emotional one; girls are nasty.

school was a horrible experience. i think that it is still a horrible experience for alot of kids now as well ... (we) they just don't talk about it.

when i worked outside the home (many years ago) i left jobs for less abuse than what i had to endure at school.

quote from ditto ... kids will be kids...and society wonders what went wrong when troubled youth choose to jump off the deep end, and do things like take a gun to school and kill people!!!

amen and amen sis, something is terribly amiss

[ChildsCry]

Hey Lion how is he doing now at the age 21? Give me some hope will ya ...

I so hear you being the punching bag at school. i was teased from 1grade and on to highschool constantly and my parents did NOTHING. Now when my son is teased I am so there ready to creme the booger who did it. But fortuneately the school he goes to is good....but i know the high school years are yet to come!

[Lionhearted]

oh he's great now .... he's working as a server while he researches and saves to invest (which is what he says he wants to do) ... personally, i wouldn't choose his method, however its his life and i support him in it.

he is presently supporting his gf which he moved here from pa (again, against our advice), but, i guess he's got lots of his dad in him, which means suprememely stubborn ..... because it couldn't have come from me ...

i refused to accept "what" the diagnosis of autism meant with him being in the school system .... so, i quit my job, we moved to a cheap apartment ... and i pulled him out of school so i could figure things out .... it wasn't about home schooling at this point; i just wanted him away from all the 'stuff' that was going on .... because he was fine around home and around family and in our social circles ... it didn't make sense to me that it was ONLY at school. What i found out, was that it was HIM that was not acceptable; his way .... he was TOTAL boy, school bored him ...

yes, they told me he was autistic and ALSO that he was addhd, and they showed me all the ways that he exhibited the behaviours ... they wanted me to have him tested and labelled ... so they could 'help' him; what they meant by 'help' ... i just couldn't accept.

drugs and special class for the rest of his schooling.

sooooo, i took him out and did it myself. honestly, i don't know if i was right or wrong .... but i don't care ... i did what the Lord lead me to do ... not what the world lead me to do;

it came at great cost; both of our families (so no grandparents for our children) we lost a couple of friends along the way.

on more than one ocassion i heard that it was 'wrong' or 'abusive' to not give him the 'help' he needed.

i'm happy with what i did; i've got an amazing relationship with my son and his gf ... its very open and accepting on all parties. they were considering moving to usa at one point, and our son said ... "i can't, i can't do that to my parents ... they want to be involved in our life and in our children's lives (some day) ... and i want them involved in our life"

it was sweet confirmation for darrell and i when he told us of this convo.

[ChildsCry]

Hey Lion,

You know..theres something inside us mom's that just knows what is best for our kids..And there's no stopping us.. Good for you...and you had good back up too with God affirming it.

I wish i could homeschool but i dont have the smarts for it...I will not medicate my son either..no way...then again he doesnt have ADHD or ADD. Somedays i wonder though, that boy is so engergized but i think some of that has to do with being a boy....

My son is also stubborn...when he doesnt wanna do something hes not going to. Such as foods...he has been really picky on meats and veggies....so much like his dad....makes me wonder if my hubby has autism too! LOL but he doesnt...he will not eat meat touching other things or mixed with other things..my speech therapist for him says its a texture issue. He will not use a certain butter...i guess his taste buds are ultra sensitive cuz i cant tell the difference! This morning i was gonna heat up some pancakes..."Nope mom im I dont want it cuz i dont have enough of MY butter for my pancakes". I was like..Fine. Why fight it.

MY son wants to draw Pokemon when he is old...wants to move to China and do it ...........his dreams I tell ya give me heart attacks some days ...So its encouraging to see your son out and about living his life..

Ive always pictured my son living with me for the rest of his life....but you know..im ok with that. that way i know where he is ..but he also needs to learn to function in society and live on his own when im old and grey..

Jen, are you around still? I hope things are going well with you and your little one!