ok....so i got half/some of the answer or results etc to day....and it was over whelming enough which she knew it would be so here is what she said so far....i have
social anxiety disorder
depression
anxiety
and another thing i cant remeber right now but it has to do with my learning and memory troubles....
and was already diagnosed before with ADD and OCD but this neurophycologist (sp?) thinks those things are part of the depression etc....some how it is all or most of it conected/related so the meds and therepy should help in most areas of struggle with those things....
so now that i have some diagnoses they will put me on zoloft and i will see 3 kinds of therepists each week to start out since iam kind of a mess and have been like this most of my life i/we just did not know why....
i dont like to claim any sickness/disease etc and so iam having a hard time with all this cause i dont want it to be true and i dont want to be treated as some one 'diferent' or 'slow'....we talked about the self-harm stuff and all kinds of things....im so drained now and of course i cryed haha....
i know i am not the only person on this site struggling with these and similar issues which helps some but its still tough not realy haveing a life....being tired and down so much etc but enough about all that.
i am going to get some real help soon and i want to and am going to get more stronger and be a beter person and get a real life with Jesus' help to!! Sorry this was so long....guess ijust felt like venting and it helps a bit to just keep people posted i guess....in case i have a bad day u guys can know im not just being a brat or what ever on purpose and u can ask me to leave if its causeing issues (please do) cause some times i dont even realise when i get to down/emotional etc....
thanks for reading/listening and caring to those who read this and do care....and Gbu all shalom kess