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So I'm staring at this blank space trying to think of what to write.

Well, my favorite cousin was married last week. I was her maid of honor. Wedding was great. Had a fun trip. Visited other family besides my cousin.

Now that I'm home I'm missing her alot. Feeling left out. Having some seperation anxiety going on I guess. Before he came along she would call me all the time. We would talk on the phone for hours. Now I hardly hear from her. Feel like I've lost my best friend.

So now what???? I miss her alot. I told her at the reception in part of my speech that she was my favorite cousin and best friend but I dont' know if she heard me.

Well, whatever.....guess it doesn't matter how I feel as long as she is happy. I guess she is. I dont' know.

Hey mokie have missed you...

Seperation of any kind with someone you have been close to can make one feel a little anxious...but just know this...your not alone...Jesus is there with you...and hold on to the memories you've made with your cousin...cherish them...and yes be glad for her...as she would be for you

luv ya

Hi, Mokie . . . I'm Bill > I don't think we've met, before. God bless you

Well, I can be alone a lot. But for a while I trusted God to make me so I can be with people a lot, or not at all for a while . . . so that I can be considerate of how much time someone has for me, and so I can welcome special people to spend time with their families and be good for other people who need them.

But there was a time when I could be hurt and mad if ones did not give me the attention I wanted.

And I got something about in Hebrews 13:5 > "be content with such things as you have". It helps me to first be content with whatsoever I really have in each relationship. And Paul says "I have learned . . . both to abound and to suffer need." (in Philippians 4:12) I think this can be used to help us to be ready to be content when we have a lot with people and in times when there's not much going on.

I'd say this does not directly speak to your situation, though, but I'm sharing this, just in case it is good, somehow. You're talking about a special relationship. I guess I could be concerned that your cousin has kind of gotten so much away from you, possibly not feeling for you like she should have. If I were to get serious about marrying someone, I might be dealing with her about her very valuable relationships that she already has; because I know I would not be able to be all she needs > I would want to fit in with whoever is especially good for her, plus welcome her to reach to ones who need how she is good for them.

I'm not sure a person can be happy by being mainly all about just one's own husband or wife and their children. Jesus is *all*-loving. He wants us to love a lot of people, then So, she may have a thing or two to learn about love. And now you might be fortunate, in a way, to be free to get into loving various people, and in doing this to become able to connect with others who are *all*-loving > like Jesus wants > "For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)