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This forum will help us to learn how to use Preventative Maintenance when it comes to our emotions. Renewing our minds daily in Christ helps us to control our emotions and lead a more productive life in Christ instead of being swept away in the whirlwind of emotions this life can throw at us daily.

Speak In Love

Postby lizzie » Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:32 am

SPEAK IN LOVE:

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me'

Ever heard that little ditty? Think its true?

The truth is that words can and do hurt us. Just like words have the ability to bring a smile to our face when we are feeling down.

James chapter 3 tells us that the tongue is a fire, and is a wicked world in itself:

James3:2-9: For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.


As beings made in the image of God our Creator, we are to reflect that in all we do. And that includes what we say. How many Christians do you know of, that go to church on Sunday morning, and are cussing like a sailor on Monday? Or gossiping about someone else? Or spouting words of anger or judgment?

One of the most dire consequences of this is how it affects potential Christians.

What do you think others will think of Christians and of Christ, if we call ourselves followers of Jesus, and then when we open our mouths to speak, all that comes out are the same as those of the world? Would others be encouraged or interested to learn more about Jesus when they hear us speak? Or would they just confirm their beliefs that Christians are just like everyone else, except when they are in Church.

Sometimes we may not realize how an inconsiderate or harsh word can affect someone else. Perhaps we may be unaware of the things we say and the way we say them. And sometimes we are all to aware of how what we say will impact someone.

The most important thing to remember when speaking with others, is to speak in love, kindness and gentleness of heart. If you are speaking to someone out of a place of love, then your words will reflect that. They will be compassionate, encouraging, and give hope. The same as if you are speaking to them out of anger and dislike. Your speech will be judgmental or degrading. Your words will reflect what is within your heart.

Matt 15:10-11: And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand: Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

Matt 15: 17-19: Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

If those are the things in our hearts, then that is what is going to come out of our mouths. If you are speaking words or anger and revenge and hatred, then this is what is within your heart. Our words will reflect what is within us.

Then there are times when we just say careless, senseless things just to have something to say Idle hands... and lips are the devil's tools.

If someone is hurting, do you know that a kind word, spoken in love and compassion, can affect that person's outlook in a positive way? Similarly, and inconsiderate reply or comment, even if not intended to hurt, can do so. Do we truly realize what our words can do to others?

What about things that are said in a joking manner? Many seem to believe that they can say just about anything to anyone as long as it's presented as a joke. A joke is not a joke if it hurts or offends and we need to be careful when carelessly using terms and words that can hurt another person.

What about when we are the ones hurting? What do we say to others then? Do we vent and take out our frustrations on those around us without giving any thought as to how it will affect them? Our parents, spouses, children.

How many of us have grown up in homes or environments where cussing and quarelling and bickering was/is the norm? Have these things not affected us?

Gossip and idle talk destroy friendships and families, and people's reputations.

What about criticism? Some forget all about constructive criticism and instead launch into a barrage of destructive criticism.

Do you know that we will be called to give account of what we say ?

Matt 12:35- 37: A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

That's right. We will have to give account of every idle word that we speak on judgement day to God.

Paul gives us a similar warning:

1 Cor6: Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Revile to speak ill of

Paul tells us that this is one of the things that can hinder us from inheriting the Kingdom of God.

The Bible tells us of the power of the tongue:

Proverbs 18:21: Death and life are in the power of the tongue:

There is Power in the things we say!

We can either give life, or bring death to ourselves and others.

1Peter 3: 9:Never pay back one wrong with another, or an angry word with another; instead pay back with a blessing.

Boy oh boy, bet we wished we had remembered that when we spouted off at someone who we felt had wronged us huh?

1Peter 3:10-11: For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.

Same verse, different translation:

Anyone who wants to have a happy life and to enjoy prosperity must banish malice from his tongue, deceitful conversation from his lips; he must seek peace and pursue it.'

Seek peace and pursue it

Are we doing that when we speak to others?

This is a good thing to ask ourselves when we are tempted to argue or gossip or tell lies.

When you are tempted to do those things, ask yourself if this is seeking peace.

Sometimes we are so filled with anger or some other negative emotion, jealousy, judgment, etc, that we say some of the most hateful things that we can come up with just to make sure that the other person is truly hurt by what we say.

Some delight in correcting others by using condescending and degrading words to bring that person shame and guilt.

Some spend their time in gossip and idle talk, not giving any thought to what they are saying or caring if it is true or not or how it can affect someone's life.

Ephesians 4:29-31: Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice
:

Same verse, different translation:

Guard against foul talk; let your words be for the improvement of others, as occasion offers, and do good to your listeners, otherwise you will only be grieving the Holy Spirit of God, who has marked you with His seal for you to be set free when the day comes. Never have grudges against others, or lose your temper, or raise your voice to anybody, or call each other names or allow any sort of spitefulness. Be friends with one another, and kind, forgiving each other as readily as God forgave you in Christ.'

How do we guard our speech?

Galations 5: 22-23: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance

Temperance : Self control.

We have the ability to practice self control through the Holy Spirit. But we have to choose to let Him be the One that guides all our words and deeds.

Before we speak out in anger or lash out cuz we are hurting, or just plain bad talk someone just to make ourselves feel better or pass the time.. Let the peace of the Holy Spirit and Love guide ur words.

Remember your tongue can give life or bring death. Which do you choose to do?

How we are to use our gift of speech:

- Prayer
- Praise
- Thanksgiving
- Songs of worship
- Confession
- Upliftment
-Speaking the Word

You would be amazed how different your day would be if you kept a close eye on what you said, and replaced idle talk with words that glorify God.

When you are tempted to talk about someone else, remind yourself that God is watching.Remind yourself of how you felt when someone did that to you. Remind yourself that you are trying to be more like Jesus, and Jesus certainly wouldn't approve of that. And if you have that extra time to be talking about someone else, why not try saying something uplifting about that person, instead of negative things.

Matt 5:9: Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Let your words and deeds be those of peacemakers. Do not do anything that you know will hurt others or cause rifts among others.

Pray that God will help you to keep a watch over your lips and the things that escape them:

Psalm 141: 3- 4: Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Incline not my heart to any evil thing, to practise wicked works with men that work iniquity:

Same verse, different translation:

God, set a guard at my mouth, a watcher at the gates of my lips Let me feel no impulse to do wrong, to share the godlessness of evil-doers'

Proverbs 21:23: Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.

Same verse,different translation:

He who watches over his mouth and his tongue preserves himself from disaster'

Speak in Love. When you love, your words and deeds will reflect that. Just like Jesus' did. His were never words of hatred or sentences carefully formed to hurt or tear down someone else. His were words that gave Life to people. Gave them hope, gave them encouragement, uplifted them, brought peace to their hearts and minds, steered them off the wrong path and unto the right one, brought understanding and truth to others.

And the same goes for ourselves. We are to speak in love to ourselves, just as we are to each other. If you wrote down all the times you said something negative or hurtful or just plain mean to your own self each day, you would realize just how these comments have the ability to affect your thoughts and emotions. How many people go about telling themselves how ugly or worthless or useless they are? Sometimes the things we say to ourselves are things we would never say to anyone else. You are God's child too.

If you are truly a follower of Jesus, then you will seek to do the same that He did.

Words aren't just words What you say is what is within your heart, and whether you say them in secret or out in the open, you will have to give account for every word on judgment day.

Before you speak, stop and ask yourself if what you are going to say will be for the benefit of others or the breaking down. If the answer is the latter, then remember the following:

If you cant say something good, then ..

That's right, if you cannot speak in love, then its best to say nothing at all. Cuz to do otherwise may have huge consequences in the lives of yourself and others. Let your words bring Life.

What would Jesus say? WWJS?

And How would He say it?

In Love

God Bless you all.
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lizzie
 

Postby Kermit » Tue Nov 06, 2007 8:23 am

Amen Liz. This is so important!

If we can kill with our words then we need to bring our tongues into obedience with the 10 Commandments

Proverbs 18:21: Death and life are in the power of the tongue:
Deuteronomy 5:17 - Thou shalt not kill.

Actions of murder and character assassination begin in the heart according to Matt 5:21-22

5:21
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment:
5:22
But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, F10 shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

If we could control our tongues we would be perfect but since we are not we need to clean up with people when we realize we have caused offense with our words. We need to be reconciled with our brothers before we properly worship as I read this text below.

Matt 5:23-24
5:23
Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;
5:24
Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

And no wonder this is so important, our love for one another is a testimony to the world that Jesus came from God as well as proof that we are followers of Jesus.

John 17:20 Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; 21 That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me
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