Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Howdy, everyone. Tomorrow night I am hosting Life After Abuse for ForeverHis. We will miss you, mum!

The topic tomorrow will be "Why did God allow this to happen?". I found a wonderful article online regarding sexual abuse that I would like to present. It was written by a Christian counselor. I really think everyone would get something out of her article.

There will be more material presented as well. Hope you will join us.

God bless and protect everyone.

Can you put the article here after the program?

You betcha, sis!

I've been listening to everyone the last few months. The questions asked the most were "Why did God let this happen? Why didn't He stop it?". We could actually apply this question to all sorts of life experiences. Death, war, divorce, financial woes, accidents, job loss, heartache, theft, weather, and so much more.

God certainly does have the power to prevent suffering. But He created us with free will. Without free will, we would be like robots. However, this means EVERYONE has free will. Thus, the door to suffering and pain is open. Many of us obey Him and are obedient by doing good things through our love for Jesus. Many disobey Him and do evil. Some of us suffer the consequences of these evil actions.

Asking this question prompts us to go to the heart of God. He cannot be understood by our human minds. His ways are not our ways. One day we will fully understand. But for now, here are a few things we can put on our hearts and try to understand.

1) It makes us know we need Jesus as our Lord and Savior. We are weak and He is strong. We cannot make it on our own. Sometimes tragedy makes us realize we need him. We need to learn to call on him when we are in trouble and be humble.

2) It gives Christ followers an opportunity to show their strength through Him. Rising above abuse and helping others is an awesome thing. Achieving it with His help and proclaiming His work in us glorifies Him. It increases His name.

3) God may be preparing you for something else. Perhaps he is preparing you for a greater trial. Life experiences tend to make us stronger and wiser. As we go through them, we grow stronger in Him. Perhaps he is preparing you to help others who have also been abused. One person may be stronger than another, emotionally and spiritually. By allowing the stronger one to endure the same type of abuse, the stronger one is put in a position where they can help the weaker one. I just thought of the story of Joseph. He was taken from his home, sold into slavery, rose up in Pharoah's house, and eventually saved his family from starvation. While his brothers did not endure the same tragedy Joseph suffered, Joseph was put in a position to help them when they suffered. If God had saved Joseph from his suffering, his family would not have been saved.

4) It shows us how devastating evil can be. It strikes us to our very heart and soul. It reminds us what is good and to seek God.

1 Corinthians 10:13:

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

I found this article online. It is called "Why does God Allow Sexual Abuse". It is written by Cheryl Shea of the Mars Hill Centre. I noticed you could substitute "sexual abuse" with any kind of abuse or even the trials in our lives.

Why Does God Allow Sexual Abuse?
Sometimes it seems that Jesus can take just a little to long responding to our urgent pleas. After all, when his friend Lazurus was sick and dieing he waited too long. Lazurus died. Martha and Mary, the grieving sisters said, " Lord, if you had been here my brother would not have died." They knew that a simple word from Jesus would have changed the situation.
Of course Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. His life was restored and he was reunited with his sisters. But Jesus took the time to respond to Mary and Martha's questions and so should we.
The sisters' question is one that is asked and wrestled with by everyone who has been sexually abused. "God, if you are a loving and powerful God why did you let this happen to me?" It is difficult to deal extensively with an answer to this question in such a short article, but it needs to be addressed.
Many sexual abuse victims answer this question by saying that they were somehow responsible for the abuse. I've heard men and women say that, as a five-year-old child, they had been too provocative and encouraged the abuse. Especially for Christians its easier to think that "its my fault" than to believe that somehow God could have stopped it and he didn't.
If you work with sexual abuse victims you need to understand, so you can help them understand, that no matter what their age it was not their fault. Sexual abuse is an act of violence against a person's body and soul. Whether the abuser uses threats, promises of intimacy or some other form of coercion the abuser was the one with the power to stop the abuse and didn't.
The other person who could have prevented or stopped the abuse is the non-offending parent (or parents). Ninety-one percent of sexual abuse happens in some relationship of trust. In other words the victim has a relationship of some type (parent, step-parent, coach, uncle or aunt, teacher, pastor etc.) with the abuser. The victim is often drawn to this relationship because it meets emotional intimacy needs that are not being met in the family. The abuser uses this as a lure to catch the victim in its web of deceit. Soon the victim is trapped and the cycle cannot be broken without outside intervention.
I have often heard survivors share that they had cried every time their mom left them with their uncle, aunt or babysitter. But their cries for help went unheeded.
It comes as no shock to anyone reading this that we no longer live in paradise. After Adam and Eve were served their eviction notice from the Garden, sin began to have its consequences in the lives of humanity. One of these consequences is that rather than being directly "parented" by God, we are primarily to be parented by our earthly fathers and mothers. They have been given authority by God to protect us, provide for us and nurture us. God does not often usurp his delegated authority from any of us. When he does we rightly call it a miracle.
Parents are to model for us the character of our heavenly parent ­ God. Consequently, when, as parents (or all adults for that matter) fail to protect a child it is we, not God who has failed.
This is not to make parents feel bad or inadequate. Parenting is a difficult task; mostly learned on the job and taught by other less than perfect people. The unfortunate effect of sin is that none of us will ever be a perfect parent. Over-protecting a child can be as damaging as not protecting a child at all.
I say all this to help paint a picture that all abuse is somehow the result of the intentional or unintentional misuse of God given authority. In the Old Testament God continually reminds his people to take care of the widows and the orphans ­ the ones in society without authority. Sexual abuse happens becomes someone with authority used it to tear down someone else. Of course it is the abuser. But it could equally be a passive mother who chose to ignore the symptoms of abuse in her child in order to keep the family together.
Really, the question is not, " God, why did you allow this to happen?", but why do we?

Romans 5:1-8
Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.