I never dealt

[bgg]

I never dealt with the abuse that was in my home. Never dealt with the feelings that I had. Never told anyone about it until 1 of my abusers left. But I never talked about it. I buried it down deep. I mean I had to take care of my mom. It was my fault my parents split. I told her he was abusive. And when she finally stood up to him he left. There I was 22 and taking care of my mom. Doing everything for her. Never having a life of my own just kept everything buried. She has become more dependent on me then ever almost a prison. I am alone except for her. I have no friends since I never learned how to make them. I hurt inside so much that suicide has been an option. To help deal with the inside pain I started cutting. First my wrists then other areas. I have tried to talk to people here chatted back and forth but always feel like a burden. I know what its like a have a burden and i don't want to be that for anyone. I know that God loves me and that he died for my sins but I just don;t know how much more I can take. I am stretched past my limit. I am broken and in pain. I have asked him for forgiveness and strength but don't have the strength to go much longer. I am sorry.

[itsjanet]

Oh, my! I hear the pain and suffering you are dealing with. It was not your fault your parents split! If he was abusive, he's abusive. Thank God, we don't need to live in bondage in this country. Don't carry guilt. Take courage and ask God for strength. I know what you mean by being 22 and taking care of your mom. My father passed away when I was 9 and I did everything for my mom. Didn't have friends of my own either. I was doing everything for my mom too. I know what you mean by having a dependent mother. When I read your post, I felt as if I was reading my own post. Can you find strength through your experience? My attitude from time to time is "I've been through so much worse, I've been given more pain, this is nothing...." so I try to carry on.

I can relate about your guilt. I'm in a similar situation right now. I don't have all the answers, but I'll be praying for both of us.

When you are chatting with other people here, don't consider yourself a burden! That's the adversary trying to stop fruitful spiritual growth. I, too, was blessed by fellowship of others from this site. It really is God's love at work! He gives abundantly!

[RainaSkye]

hugs....you are not alone....and you are not a burden....those are lies from satan because he doesn't want you to seek help or to get better......you are loved here and there are many people including me that you can talk to when you need eyes/ears to listen...there are many people who understand many parts if not all or most of the pain you are experiencing....I pray that God touch you and heal you.....