Walls of lies

[bgg]

I was a victim of my father's verbal abuse for over 20 years. And 20 years later I still suffer from the abuse. My dad made me feel that I was no good and couldn't do anything right. I was alone and had no friends. So when I met people I would lie and make up things. Now it has come back to haunt me. I have told the truth, but they don't understand the walls. The walls that I put there to protect me, walls in which I was safe from hurt. But now I am hurting even more. I feel more alone than ever. I know that the Lord is with me but I still feel alone.

[Galahad]

bgg,

I have struggled in a similar way for many years. I believed what I was told as a child by peers. How I was treated/bullied led me to believe that I was a loser and would always be, for as long as I lived. I allowed it to become my "identity." It is something that the best of us struggle with on a daily basis - What is our identity? Do we like our identity? What could we change about our identity?

The identity you're living to this day was given to you by your father. It must be especially difficult to keep from believing what he told you about yourself. Your father's behavior was despicable, especially in the position of a father figure. I am writing because I needed to tell you that what he did was wrong. It's terrible. Deplorable. I'm sorry that you had to endure that.

But there is some light at the end of the tunnel. As Christians, we have an opportunity to receive a new identity in Christ. Not of brokenness, but of righteousness. You were told lies about yourself for most of your life. Once you acknowledge that, that the lies from your past are indeed lies, you can start finding the truth. That you are not alone. Rekindle a relationship with God. It will change your life. Allow for God to "adopt" you as his own. John 14:18 "I won't leave you as orphans..." Allow for God to create a new identity in you. Allow for God to show you why HE created you. Allow for him to show you each of the unique, special gifts that he weaved into you from before you were born. YOU are special. You are loved. And you have a God that aches to know you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1bXG4WIesA

Your relationship with God doesn't have to be fancy or formal.... it doesn't require rituals or liturgy. Religion has made things so hard, creating road blocks that hinder our relationship with God instead of strengthening it. It's meant to be simple. Allow God to lead you by the hand... "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.' " - Matthew 19:14.

Moving forward, I pray that you would allow for God to create a new identity in you. Stop believing the lies of your earthly father and start accepting the truths that your divine father wants to breathe into your life. Everything else will fall into place. I promise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTm6OiNJVp4

Find a good bible-based church. There are people at churches who long to find people that they can help. Receive it. Seek out a bible study. Get to know this God. He's incredible. He's changed countless lives.