Just when you're about to throw in the towel ...

[vahn]

Ever notice ? ... Or rather does this happen to others as well ?

I dont know whether to call this , "event" , a blessing , a curse , or either one being desguised as the other ... who knows !

For a good part of two or so month , I've been "stuck" with this individual , a helper , (I drive a truck) that I call "Mr. I kno" . I mean sometimes , I dont even have to say anything at all , just a glance at him and ready to move lips , he's allready on the second part of the "I know" . Not bad , I said to myself (and to him , but not in so admiring way that is ) , considering the fact that he'd just come off a bender ... hmm sometimes I wished I could do that ... or maybe I did !!! (without knowing it) .

Any wayz , about two weeks of being "stuck" in the same cab for 6 hours a day , and all the "I know's" I could handle for that specific day , I finally snapped , and in no uncertain way I asked him , "would you like me to tell you how much I think you know ? " .... "You know Jack ... !!" "And would you like to know how I know that ? or do you already know that too ? "

This person , is at a rehab center for "treatment" (if there ever was one such thing) for his alcohlism .... HAH ... TREATMENT ... I just love that word (but he knows that too U C ?) , No sooner than he asks "what should I do vahn ?" the I know follows right behind it .

"Well 'Joe' , if you know so much , I just can't figure out why you're asking me so many questions ? "

Today , he asked me to sponsor him ... NO ..ing WAY !!!!

He asked me why .... I said , my sponsor strongly warned me early on of the dangers of sponsering myself ...ISM = I sponsor myself .... 'Joe' said "vahn ! , what does that have to do with sponsoring me ?" .... I said " you're too much like me when I was two month sober Joe !!!




In Christ , our Lord

[Jesus saves]

It is interesting how God puts people in our paths that sometimes we can't stand. I am not sure what the reason is but I know for myself, it has helped me to grow no matter how hard the process. You may be seeing yourself in this person, or some traits that you just can't tolerate. However, God does everything for a reason, he may be trying to teach you patience, tolerance or showing you how difficult it was for Jesus to tolerate everyone.

I believe God puts us in a place for a reason, and when that is complete we are moved on to something else. I find if I go into a siutation like that it certainly leaves me more open to hearing from him and what his will is within that circumstance. Be patient, God loves you, and only wants what is best no matter how hard that may be.

God Bless

[vahn]

Glad to have you aboard brother , we sure can see some benefits from you .

When we , (ok , at least I) take on the responsibility of sponsoring someone - ( which I do very willingly , for it is the biggest part of my recovery , and yes , a blessing from our Lord , almost a demand , so to speak) - by so doing , we are also carry the responsibility of placing this man's life in our hands , again , God's way of leading us to another level by using the newbie as a mean .

Here's the thing . I deem it a misconception when some , at meetings , suggest to newbies to stick around untill they find some one they can "relate to" or "have similar stories" to ask for sponsorship , I tend to disagree with that for a couple of reasons . 1) , one asks for advise from another with "similar stories" , chances are that they both will be sharing the same defects of characters or shortcomings as well , so , at most , all they gonna get is " Yep , me too"s and "I understand, I was like that too". Well , "understanding" and "relating" never solved any one's issues , at least it didn't mine , and no sooner , I was flat on my back , drunk as a skunk all over again .

It wasn't untill my last and final sponsor (May our Lord rest his soul) who , in no uncertain way put my wise behind right where it belonged , saying things like , "Oh poor ole vahn ... gee , I just ran out of cheese and brownie points for your knowledge and whinings , now this is what I want you to do ... lets get to know who you THINK you are , and compare that with who you REALLY are , maybe then we'll have something to discuss ."

That was 12 years ago .


In Christ , our Lord