Difficult Time Of Year For Those Who Were/Are Abused

[Dora]

Those who are abused know the familiar dread of holidays. When everyone else is excited we are brought to near panic at the thoughts of the Holiday. Our abuser may be there. Definitely horrible memories will be.

Personally I find it hard to prepare for the holidays. It's hard to be organized. It's hard to fix a meal. It's hard to remember to mail the Christmas cards after they are sealed, stamped, and addressed. My mind can not follow through a simple process of any one Holiday event.

I just want you to know if you are feeling this way you are not alone.

This holiday I spent many moments thanking God. I've learned it releases me from being in control and allows Him to completely take over. It doesn't mean I am filled with joy over events that happen but that I can walk away or sit and know I'm not responsible to fix that.

I find myself struggling with self medicating. Triggers go off more. Depression comes along and is another battle to fight on top of the rest that seem to be piling up. I also am more tense and nervous. I can't sit still. I leave the house 3 times a day to go do something in hopes it will take my mind off things. I exercise 2 or 3 times a day. I repeat processes over and over while my mind is being controlled by the haunting memories. Wow when I put that down on paper it sounds horrible! But really it's not that bad. I'm use to it. And I have a pocket full of keys that help me deal.

Such as being thankful. Focusing on Him instead of me or them. Prayer. Asking a family member to help when my mind can't put together how to prepare something. Taking things slowly. Giving myself plenty of rest, water, and fresh air. Making sure to exercise and eat healthy. (ok I don't eat healthy but I know I should as it's hard to combat depression when our body is lacking in the vitamins and minerals it needs) *makes mental note to take the time to eat healthier*

I hope you feel if you need a place to come talk about the things that are bothering you that you can come here.

Love yas.

[dema]

Love you Pine. *hugs5*

[RainaSkye]

it's weird really to hear from other people that they feel the same ways I do....I guess I thought I was the only one....thanks for sharing..

[newbegining]

holidays are always a problem for me . especially having such a distant and disfunctional family. seems like there isnt any good shoulder to lean on . i have been a victim of emotional abuse and it seems like theres no where to turn to for help. i turned to alcohol cause it was a temporary solution but i realized thats all it was , always just a temporary solution which was only hurting me more. i refuse to continue to be a victim...... one step at a time

[RainaSkye]

The holidays are coming back around and I am just waiting for the phone call from my mother and also this one friend to ask and invite me over to spend the holidays with them.....

Every year I totally dread getting that phone call from my mother, last year it was my grandmother.....They try to get my grandparents, my parents, aunts uncles and cousins, about 14 of us (one uncle never comes) and (one cousin now has two kids) oh and I almost forgot my brother......under one roof to spend time together.....My aunts, uncles and cousins, barely recognize me....they might now since they have seen me as an adult, but they barely do, we are all like strangers. It's awkward and fearful and I really dont want to go at all...But they guilt me......either by things they say, or I know they will be sad and then I think they will cry or something and those thoughts alone guilt me to no end......They guilted me all my life....always told me all my thoughts and feelings were wrong...and it still haunts me....

This friend well we had a bit of a falling out...I still care about her and we are getting along for the most part, but there is still some awkwardness but I think it would be ok by the holidays to go over there for at least a little while.....

Anyway I told my scheduling manager, not that he would remember maybe, that I would work all the holidays..........Then I can just say well I have to work, and really I do have to work and it'd all be ok....and I wouldn't feel guilty or obligated to anyone......plus I like my job and almost all the people there....so its all good.....

[Dora]

What ever you choose may the Lord go with you and stay near you. May hearts be mended and relationships healed. love you!