My desire for freedom.

Hello all, I have been struggling with a porn addiction for about 5+ years now.
It started around the time I entered High School which was around the time where my family stopped going to church because of the distance. I have tried to quit from the beginning which caused me to actually open up the bible for help but every time it seems I have managed to break free for a while I get pulled back in and out. I get so disgusted at myself as every time it seems I try to better myself by getting closer to God I feel a pull even greater than before dragging me down the pit which has been a real snare in my life.
I really don't have anyone here except Jesus to tell this to here because not much communication ever has gone on in this home, I really don't have a family member I wouldn't be to embarrassed to be open with nor have I have any friends my age except for the ones online.
Thanks all.

It started around the time I entered High School which was around the time where my family stopped going to church because of the distance. I have tried to quit from the beginning which caused me to actually open up the bible for help but every time it seems I have managed to break free for a while I get pulled back in and out. I get so disgusted at myself as every time it seems I try to better myself by getting closer to God I feel a pull even greater than before dragging me down the pit which has been a real snare in my life.
I really don't have anyone here except Jesus to tell this to here because not much communication ever has gone on in this home, I really don't have a family member I wouldn't be to embarrassed to be open with nor have I have any friends my age except for the ones online.
Thanks all.

