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I didn't even know where to put this, maybe it shoulda gone under some other forum. I am really rethinking my life right now and really wondering what the whole point is, or if there really even is one. After the past couple weeks, I have come to realize how much I am really not wanted or cared about by anyone! From the email from my mom saying she no longer wants anything to do with me or the kids, to no one showing up for my two year old's birthday party, because the entire family is mad at me, to my oldest son wanting to be at his dad's all the time to my youngest waking up in the night and shoving me away and running to his dad, and refusing to be around me when he wants to cuddle to go to sleep, from his refusing a drink from me but accepting that same drink from someone he hardly knows and calling everyone else mom, to being cussed at by Don constantly to not even feeling cared about here, I have had all I can take. A couple times in the last week I came into chat here and not a one freakin person even bothered to say hi, so I just left. What's the point if no one cares or even acknowledges me? Wonder what terrible crime I committed here?! My terrible crime I committed against my family was that I was dealing with so much depression that I just didn't feel like talking to anyone for a bit. That warrants no one wanting anything to do with me. It was a fine time to find this out 25 minutes after Dan's bday party was supposed to start and no one was here. The only one that cared was my sister. I am sick of it all and doubt that anyone here will even care enough to take the time to read this. I don't think I will even come back here anymore! Sometimes I feel like I am just invisible. Other times are o.k., but times like the other night, well it just makes me feel like crapola! Will have to find some other way to deal with the pain inside I guess. Go back to my drinking I suppose. Was nice knowing all of you. Bye

((((((((((((Calebsmom))))))))))))))) I read through ........ and really do hope you come back; not thinking very clearly right now but wanted to let you know I see you... that you aren't invisible; and that people do care (including me)

Good morning Sis,
I read your note and it breaks my heart that you feel no one cares, I have not seen many of your post BUT you just gained a friend here, please know I care about you as my sister in Christ.
As for the chat, I don't go into chat because I cannot keep up (slow reader and typer )
BUT I will tell you if you message me I will always return it, and I will start looking for your post
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!! don't go back to drinking it only makes the problems go away for a little while and then magnifies them later.
May God bless and keep you Sis
Cuc

aw Sis that brought me tears! I'm so sorry life is just a bunch of yuck right now.

Search for the good things you can find in life. Drinking won't help. It will only make it worse. Give your family some time to think things through and they'll come around.

Play with your children. I mean get down and really play with them. Drive trucks around with your boys. Build roads in the sand for the trucks. Go looking for worms with them and experience the wiggly coldness in the palm of your hand with the boys. Watch for their smiles and laughs. And soak it in to the very inner core of your being. Play catch. Fly a kite.

As far as chat sis. I know the feeling. It leaves a person feeling very alone and uncared about. As you can see by the responses here you are cared about. Sometimes in chat we just need to jump in. Sometimes people are multitasking. Sometimes in pm. Sometimes their kids or family or pets are distracting them from the screen. Sometimes the convo is so deep they are thinking and people come and go with out being noticed. They don't mean to hurt others. It just happens, sadly.

You are loved! By many here. But mostly by God. What can be more awesome than being loved and accepted by God.

Praying for you.

Thanks guys for putting up with me! Not sure what my prob is as of lately Most the time I feel like I gotta go around wearing a mask all the time, you know...pretending like it's all o.k. when it's not? Every once in a while the darn thing falls off and you get stuck seeing the uglies inside that no one else gets the "honor" of seeing. Don't like to allow people to see inside to often....it's dangerous you know? People see the real you and then, POOF! Where did they go?
Now, can someone please me find a flashlight? Need to see into the darkness of my life and put that mask back on.

Emotions can be so bothersome. But we all have them.

Appears to me what happened is life got a little yucky (ok maybe a lot) and the devil started poking at you and now that you've overcame he's making you feel guilty and embarrassed. He sure has us figured out.
Take it easy on yourself sis. I think it's safe to say we've all been there. You are loved!

Hi Sis,
As for the mask that is one of the things that i think is so great about this site you don't need the mask
because we will love you no matter what, heck if they love the uglyness in me they can sure love it in anybody
I agree with Pine it is satan doing what he does best, just flick him off of you like the little pest he is and remind yourself God IS in control and when you do satan will get a big black eye

2 Samuel 23:4
He is like the light of morning at sunrise on a cloudless morning, like the brightness after rain that brings grass from the earth.

God bless you sis
Cuc

hi there
read your post and feel sorry for you as at this time no one has reply to you yet. When I first check this site your subject is the one that attracts me to read. Everyone has different issues in life, right now I have my own but I want to assure you some is there to help you..you feel low because you are too busy with your life, try to relax and reflect the good things happened in your life (not the negative) Let's count the blessings we received and not unhappiness.
God loves us and His got something for us....He wont give us this problem alone, He is there with us...