intervention

by **goldieluvs** » Sun Jun 19, 2011 10:16 am

Ya'll ever watch that show Intervention? You know the ones where addicts are confronted by family and friends about their use and are offered treatment program??

Well i watch it from time to time to help me remember where i don't wanna go back to. I learned something though on this one, I actually had to leave the room. I got triggered. All it took was seeing crack pipe and watching em light it and hearing that sizzle and i craved. So i left the room. Then last night i dreamed about crack. Now IMPORTANT thing is i didn't use. Didn't like being tempted though. Thank God He helped me through.

I don't think im gonna watch that show anymore. Actually i really don't understand this at all, cuz it used to be i bought the drugs and still managed with bills. Now even though i am not using, its a constant struggle every month. IDK y. Ok well Annie has been expensive every month for past several months and then i had the plumber thing. And the added monthly payment for riding lawnmower. IDK but it's weird that i end up in the hole every month and am behind on house payment and im like dang how in the world did it happen? I been clean for months and now all of a sudden money is an issue. Well maybe cuz i was using and kept accessing money that is reason why i am struggling now to dig outta that pit. IDK It doesn't really bother me, except for me being behind on house payment. Mainly i was typing about that show... ok time to get busy, Another storm came through last night and i got yard work to do.

by **realtmg** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 12:58 pm

Goldie,
First of all you didn't use. Eh? That show is worldly and only God and you can do this.
Now.............. MONEY problems? Me too. Using would only make things worse and you know it. I have heard so many times that if we dont use or drink; all else will come together. Guess you call this FAITH. We all hurt and allow our minds to wander. But you did the right thing and got busy in another room. Watch for those triggers to. Take inventory of self daily.
Always good to see ya online. I am very proud of you.

Luv Ya

Real

by **Dora** » Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:41 pm

One thought that came to mine....oh btw hi Real and Goldie! *Wave*

love you both!!!.....is how some (me) can bounce from one addiction to the next. If I'm not using alcohol, it's food, if it's not food I'm wanting to buy something to fill that void or need or what ever that crazy feeling inside is. Searching for something, anything, to make my life better and bring me happiness. I have this check that I do when I shop, I stop and ask myself why do I want this and if I feel that need to fill some void or crazy inward screaming that says I just want something to make me feel better, then I put it back. Perhaps the money goes toward filling that void that drugs use to fill. More food, more wine, more exercise even, more stuff, more food, more doing things like the movies to take your mind off it, or just spending it one dollar at a time on candy bars and m&ms, coffee, soda pop, or anything you can pop into your mouth. Munch munch munch..sip sip sip...something has to be going in even if it's gum constantly or else my mind starts wanting what I shouldn't have.

Just my thoughts. Hope it helps.

by **goldieluvs** » Thu Jun 23, 2011 3:57 pm

real

ty bro. Pine *hug5*

I can SO relate sis. i think it boils down to looking to fill that void that only He can fill. Yet all too often i go searching for something else. *Doh*

Step by step.... luv yall

*HippiePeace*

by **Dora** » Fri Jun 24, 2011 6:39 pm

goldieluvs wrote:i think it boils down to looking to fill that void that only He can fill. Yet all too often i go searching for something else.

Yup...there ya go! And dollar by dollar there goes the cash.

Love you!!!! *hug5*

by **goldieluvs** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 11:29 pm

ok been awhile and since it was my last post, thought id pick up here... Pine girl i just luv ya. U have such an awesome spirit. It's not just the money, it's all sorts of repercusions hmm that word dont look right. must have the spelling wrong. at any rate.... my thoughts at the moment are that it just pulls me further and further from God, yet its my CHOICE that does it. So why do i make it in the first place, when i know when all is said and done, i will be ashamed, further from God, hiding and trying to just hold on. Makes no sense. Ok. Peace ya'll. i gotta get some rest.

by **Lani** » Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:50 am

"Makes no sense" ummmm uh huh

It makes cruddy sense. cruddy uses any means possibile to try to shift our focus.
The fact that you continue to seek our Lord and are reaching out shows awesome progress dear sis. Hope to hear from ya again soon!

Here to help ya hold on

Just a note to let ya know ... LUV YA Goldie

Peace n Luv in Christ,
*BlessYou*