The road taken

[faithschallenge]

I started counseling just recently. Like a day ago, which is a huge step for me. As I am sure it was for others here too.
I think this is all I want to say right now.

faithschallenge

[Tam]

HI faithschallenge,
Welcome to Oasis. Welcome to Life Beyond Walls.
Yes you did take a huge step. Doing the counseling steps is not an easy choice but a good one.
So glad to see you posting here. Know that you will not be judged but only loved here.
Post as much or as little as you would like.
Hope to see you in chat sometimes. Would love to get to know you.

If you ever need to talk, I am here for you. Keep pressing in and doing the steps. May God bless you on this journey in your life.
Looking forward to getting to know you
Tam

[faithschallenge]

It's kind of interesting the name of this group, "life beyond Walls", because I've lived behind a wall for such a long time.
I'm always hiding. Hiding from even the people closest to me, and so they really don't know who I am. They really don't know my strengths or really my weaknesses. And my talents and the things I like. It's really bad when you hide from yourself because you lose who you really are. I know in Christ, we have a new identity and that's the only place I can really start from. But the core me, my personality, it seems like is all meshed in there.

faithschallenge

[Tam]

It's kind of interesting the name of this group, "life beyond Walls", because I've lived behind a wall for such a long time.
I'm always hiding. Hiding from even the people closest to me, and so they really don't know who I am. They really don't know my strengths or really my weaknesses. And my talents and the things I like. It's really bad when you hide from yourself because you lose who you really are. I know in Christ, we have a new identity and that's the only place I can really start from. But the core me, my personality, it seems like is all meshed in there.

Yes faith it does seem like we all at some point try to hide from something or someone. We all build walls are a barrier to protect us from something or someone...but the bad thing is that we only keep us in the walls and build them up so tall that we don't even think that we can get out.
Kinda scarey if we were to know the real us. I mean after all do we really know us at all?

Yes you can start right here at the beginning. Ask God to show you what those walls are and to help you break them down one brick at the time. Step by step. Yes it is hard and yes it can be achieved. It may seem like it is all mesh but it isn't. I promise you that in time if you are willing....they will begin to come down. Trust HIM and HE will not let you down.

Keep posting sis
Tam

[deetu]

Woo hoo... great going faiths
Keep pushing thru and doing the study

But the core me, my personality, it seems like is all meshed in there.

God will help you sort it all out, you will see

[Dora]

Thanks for sharing!

Glad you are here. Glad you are opening up. If you would like to share things about counseling to try to help you figure things out, that is fine. It's your journal. No judgment here. You're beautiful.

I know in Christ, we have a new identity and that's the only place I can really start from.

Best place to find your identity! You are on the right track.

[faithschallenge]

The only thing that I talked about is being sort of invisible to the people around me, or the people that are my close friends and those at church mostly. I had written a poem about it and showed my counselor. She just said that we were going to work on helping people see. She said it was sort of like protection. I can see that in a sense. Because when you are violated, you lose whatever or whoever you are and just begin to get into survival mode for the rest of your life until someone bigger and stronger comes a long so you don't have to keep hiding to keep yourself safe. Even when you are an adult you still do the same things until you start to trust someone stronger. But then you realize there is no one because people aren't too strong themselves and they show how weak they are at times.

faithschallenge

[Tam]

Because when you are violated, you lose whatever or whoever you are and just begin to get into survival mode for the rest of your life until someone bigger and stronger comes a long so you don't have to keep hiding to keep yourself safe.

Yes you are absolutely right. Survival mode is a good place to be for a little while but you gotta learn to trust at sometime or another. HE will help you get your idenity back. He will carry you through and HE will be there for you. He is one that you can trust that will not hurt you.
I know that from experience....I have been there and done that ..built the wall and dared anyone to get behind it. But now that the wall has crumpled.....life has new meaning. He can and will do the same for you.
If you haven't you can read my story and see just how good my GOD is. You are doing good on the posting. Keep it up.
Tam

click on Peace After Storm below

[Dora]

faithschallenge

[faithschallenge]

Tam,
I read your story. Sorry for all of what has happened to you. But I am reading how you see God, the Lord.
But it makes me angry why people in our own families do things to us. Its wrong. If you cannot be protected
in your own home. Its strange how at work today I said to this little girl, she was at work with her dad. I told her
that she should honor her parents and listen to them and not side with her friends when she gets to be a teenager
Because sometimes teenagers rebel against their parents. But God put this command to honor our parents yet what
if our parents were the ones who were evil and hurting us? What does a child or teen know, just that they are hurting
and the people hurting them are their parents or/and family members.
It's even harder if a child is adopted or in foster care and this happens to them because they have double emotional issues; not being accepted given away by their biological fam and then getting put into a situation that is worse. But God does know what will happen. It's just finding the reason why.

faithschallenge

[Tam]

Why? Because there are some sick people in this world. But more important than the why's is the being able to forgive them so that God can take care of them and bless us.
Don't dwell on the whys but on the blessing that He has waiting fo us as we get our healing and as we forgive those who hurt us.

[faithschallenge]

Haven't been here for awhile. I struggle a lot to live beyond the walls that I have created and that are there hindering me from seeing life on the other side or even thinking I can ever get there. I didn't realize it would be so hard for me to get there and scale the walls I've lived behind for so long. I feel like my resolve is strong yet mentally its like I have to really not even think about doing it just go ahead and do it. It all sounds easy but it isn't. I realize I haven't been with it or present mentally for all of my life. How is it just living in the present instead of hiding in the past? For me its a new experience but I have to continue to do so or else I will just feel its too hard and go back to my old ways.
faithschallenge