I'm back!!!

[Christnundrconstruxn]

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes because it took me way too long to come back here but I have some news for the ones that remember me
1st I change my name alittle
2nd I have my own place and other than it being alittle lonely I love it
3rd MY BABY GIRLS GETTING CLOSE TO HAVING HER BABY!!
I still struggle with my obsession (sickness) but it's hard when being alone because I miss the love and affection of a womans touch, I have all through this leaned VERY HARD on our Lord He is the ONLY consistancy in my life, I have come to terms with the end of my marraige we are civil with each other but the thing that hurts the most is my kids don't seem to miss me that much, they hardly come over (1-2 times a month)
oh I almost forgot I am typing this on MY computer at home so maybe I will talk to you all more now, I have accepted that I have to move forward,
I know some of you will not agree with this but even though I'm only seperated I have put myself on a couple of dating sites, I'm tired of being lonely! I'm sure we will soon be divorcing but I'm not looking to get serious anytime very soon just need someone to spend a little time with if God sees it in His plans to Bless me with that and who knows Maybe down the road it will turn into the realationship that I've starved for ALL my life instead of these so so or onesided loves.
well that's enough for now those that remember me get at me I miss talking to you
your brother in faith
God bless all

[Mackenaw]

Hello Construxn

God bless you this day. Welcome home!!!

I wanted to comment on your what you said about your kids not wanting to visit you that often. Perhaps it has more to do with the way you act when you are around them, and because it all is still so new to them -- the new living arrangements, etc.

I remember when my parents divorced, they seemed different towards me for a while. Almost polite as opposed to "natural."

Routines have been disrupted, so once you establish more routines for them, within your new home, and maybe even where "their stuff" is stored when they come there, etc. Allow them the time to become familiar with where things are in your home so it becomes their home too. All these things will come with a little time. Just be patient, but not plastic.

Prayers are rising to our Lord on your and your family's behalf. God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[Wonderfilled One]

Awesome to have ya back!!! That is good news in itself!
I have a good feel for your situation...been separated for 2 yrs in July past.
I remember those weekend nights, where I felt like I was missing soo much, with everyone fired up bout it being the weekend, and not having anyone to share it with. I used to go to the bookstore, or more often than not, to WalMart! Felt like my weekend wasn't complete without just doing "something." But that faded away after a time, and now I just do my "thing", which tonight is laundry, and ya know what....I don't think bout it! Don't get me wrong, there have been many times when I wished I had someone to share times with, but I haven't.
The house we lived in is going up for foreclosure now, as my wife lost her job a year ago come the middle od Dec., and she is buying a smaller one not far. I have had mixed emotions bout it. She has yet to heal, having not yet surrendered any of the hurt, anger, resentment, betrayal... which is something I pray for every day.
Have two daughters, from first marriage, who have and still are paying for the mistakes I have made. Youngest is a senior, and just got her first report card....1.0 grade avg.! She is very capable of A's and B's, but just isn't trying....and it's very hard to see.
So hang in there, remember you won't always feel the same as now, and be there and be as connected as you can with your children.
God Bless you, I'll be here if ya need to talk....
Wonder

[Christnundrconstruxn]

this first part is to Mackenaw
it's not so much that of the routines but your right routines have been disrupted I too come from a divorce and like me I think my kids choose mom's over dad's because first I don't allow them as much freedom to do whatever they want, all hours on the internet, junk food and pop all the time, and rome the neighborhood, but I pray soon they will see that I love them no less than thier mother I just have different standards.

NOW Wonderfilled one, I am so glad to be remembered, I want to know how you were able to write my story, I read your post and so much of it sounds like I wrote it, the weekend- no one to share it with- and WALMART!!- I to get lost in laundry and keeping my house clean(alittle too clean some say for a man)- she filed bankruptcy and the house is being forclosed- she's moving to a place not far that she can better afford- and no she has not surrendered the anger,hurt resentment,betrayal- I have 3 kids 13 year old twins 1 boy 1 girl not doing bad in school but not doing the best either and a 17 year old that she had before we met but I loved as my own which is now 8 months pregnant.
so you see what I meant, as for me I refuse to give the devil the satisfaction I will rise up on eagles wings and soar far above his wicked ways someday soon
God bless you both and thank you!!

[Dora]

Sooooooooooo good to see you back!!!!!! I've said a few prayers for you in your absence.

Congratulations on the grandbaby!!!!! So happy for you.

Hey bro about the dating sites, I am not going to say one way or another cause I haven't a clue. But I do know there have been many meet here in chat and marry! Some soon to be married. Some with plans in the distant future. Where ever God leads you. Go and be what HE has chosen for YOU to be.

Wow sounds like you are doing amazing, through the power and spirit of our Holy God and Father. So amazing. He is so good to us. Keep seeking Him bro. You're doing terrific. I'm sure the Father must be pleased.

God bless and keep you. God is good! So very very good.

[Christnundrconstruxn]

HEY PINE!!!
so good to hear from you! I missed you!!
and thank you for the prayers, as for the dating sites I don't know either and I have thought of getting more involved in the chat room and as you said where God leads me, I just want so bad to meet that someone that ends up being my best friend and the love of my life and me be the same to her, I'm just tired of the so so relationships thats what got me in the nightmare I'm in, I want that one I can confide in about ANYTHING and she stand by me!
as for me doing great and our Father being pleased I'm not so sure about that but I'm trying and as I said I WON'T give the devil the satisfaction of winning anymore. God is good...all the time, all the time...God is good!!
God bless

[Wonderfilled One]

Wow, and we always think we are soooo unique in our situations... we are, but much of the same overall!
I hope your day went well...gotta stay positive. And stay as connected as ya can to tha kids.
Text my youngest last night that we have to talk bout her school grades, n she wants to meet somewhere to talk...a good sign. She really is a good kid, just no structure in her homelife. And she obviously has chosen to be gay for the present. Seems to be an epidemic in her school...well, not epidemic, but pretty prevalent. Just complicates her life.

Hope to see ya in chat Bro., here to talk when ya need to. GBU
Wonderfilled