"It is much later than you think"
Ah those words , how I cringed at them whenever I heard them , "It's much later than you think son" , I heard those words for a good part of twenty , continuous years , until of course my sponsor brought up the point that the reason I kept hearing them was because I kept saying "I'll get to that later" , so , now I had two things to cringe about , the other being my sponsor .
In the book Alcoholics Anonymous , in the chapter How it Works (Chpt 5) , it states "We beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start" , an ominous warning that I failed to heed for many a year . The word BEG and the reason of , eluded me , and here I am , a little over 11 years of continuous sobriety later , I am typing something about it ... Why .
Well , lately I had just come to realize that my tolerance level with certain issues and personalities had been reduced to almost zero , and in turn being followed by periods of uneasy feelings wich yet led to downright aggravation and edginess , to the point of simultaneous "explosions" .
Deciding to do an inventory on the issue (suggested 10th step for recovery) I came across a very ... interesting (to say the least) "discovery" of a sort , which by the way is what prompted to share this with my fellows who might need to hear .
It has to do with helping others , "Now wait a minute " you might say . How can helping others lead to any such things you mentioned above ?
See , in order for me to gain confidence of the prospect (newbie) I have to first , of course give him something of my own experience to help him/her see the commonality of the grounds we are standing on , and , after that being established , we move on to the nitty gritty stuff (inventory-4th step) , now this is where the rubber hits the tar . Again , I only have my experience to go by (you can't transmit what you ain't got ... and , what you do got is the ONLY thing that you CAN and WILL transmit whether you like it , or not !!) -- well , lately , it seems , "anger" is what being transmitted -- But , what is it that I am "angry" about ? Hence the inventory .
What I "found out" was this . There were a lot of ... well , stuff .. that initially , I either set aside , brush off as "unnecessary" , or just simply said "I'll get to that later" . That "later" part had been knocking at my doorstep a lot lately , stemming from having to help a certain individual preventing later disaster in their life later on , and the only thing I got to go by is my own experience , and that experience is bringing me back to a good 35 years , and that my dear brothers and sisters is when I ENTERED HELL , and didn't get out until it was way too late !! That , is a place I did not , do not want to revisit , but will I ? Have no choice do I ?
Boomerang time , big time !!
"FEARLESS AND THOROUGH FROM THE VERY START --- WE BEG OF YOU"
It is MUCH later than we THINK .
In Christ , our Lord
In the book Alcoholics Anonymous , in the chapter How it Works (Chpt 5) , it states "We beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start" , an ominous warning that I failed to heed for many a year . The word BEG and the reason of , eluded me , and here I am , a little over 11 years of continuous sobriety later , I am typing something about it ... Why .
Well , lately I had just come to realize that my tolerance level with certain issues and personalities had been reduced to almost zero , and in turn being followed by periods of uneasy feelings wich yet led to downright aggravation and edginess , to the point of simultaneous "explosions" .
Deciding to do an inventory on the issue (suggested 10th step for recovery) I came across a very ... interesting (to say the least) "discovery" of a sort , which by the way is what prompted to share this with my fellows who might need to hear .
It has to do with helping others , "Now wait a minute " you might say . How can helping others lead to any such things you mentioned above ?
See , in order for me to gain confidence of the prospect (newbie) I have to first , of course give him something of my own experience to help him/her see the commonality of the grounds we are standing on , and , after that being established , we move on to the nitty gritty stuff (inventory-4th step) , now this is where the rubber hits the tar . Again , I only have my experience to go by (you can't transmit what you ain't got ... and , what you do got is the ONLY thing that you CAN and WILL transmit whether you like it , or not !!) -- well , lately , it seems , "anger" is what being transmitted -- But , what is it that I am "angry" about ? Hence the inventory .
What I "found out" was this . There were a lot of ... well , stuff .. that initially , I either set aside , brush off as "unnecessary" , or just simply said "I'll get to that later" . That "later" part had been knocking at my doorstep a lot lately , stemming from having to help a certain individual preventing later disaster in their life later on , and the only thing I got to go by is my own experience , and that experience is bringing me back to a good 35 years , and that my dear brothers and sisters is when I ENTERED HELL , and didn't get out until it was way too late !! That , is a place I did not , do not want to revisit , but will I ? Have no choice do I ?
Boomerang time , big time !!
"FEARLESS AND THOROUGH FROM THE VERY START --- WE BEG OF YOU"
It is MUCH later than we THINK .
In Christ , our Lord

Praying for you vahn as you deal not only with the people you want so badly to help....but also for you as you deal with yourself. God is doing a great work in you.